Madame Sin

Bette Davis as an insane super-agent and Robert Wagner as her dupe? Why not? Everybody's having a lot of fun. The villains are equally amusing. The whole thing is tongue-in-cheek and high camp, and it always remains true to its own little world. One of the-lets-have-fun-and-not-take-anything-too-seriously-made-for-TV-flicks that ABC excelled in churning out in the early 70's.

I know very little about Director David Greene, who did mostly TV work and appears to have been no relation of Graham Greene's, the British writer. That much is clear from the campy script that David and Oringer hammered together with some self-deprecating humor, especially in the shape of eyelid-painted Bette Davis as MADAME SIN, the sinister lady who carries out all manner of experiments on the unfortunate souls who get caught in the waves of her sonar-sounding waves that basically turn the brain into jelly, and pliable to her despicable whims.

Of course, the fact that she wants a British Polaris submarine, apparently to make a fortune out of it, is preposterous, Even harder to believe is Robert Wagner as some top spy/agent who keeps getting hit by the sonar, to the point of going deaf, which has laughable consequences as he tries to enlighten the British military on the foul plays by the evil MADAME SIN.

Cinematography is just OK, editing not that great. The best thing about this TV flick is Denholm Eliott as the Madame's evil sidekick, looking prim and proper, constantly adjusting his tie. His initial encounter with Wagner, with two Catholic nuns on hand, provides the film's most memorable segment. The other good bit is the end, with MADAME asking when the lease on Buckingham Palace, or Windsor Castle or whatever that royable abode is, will be up because she wants to take it over.

Also interesting to see Burt Kwouk, of Cato Fong fame in the Pink Panther franchise as Inspector Clouseau's sparring manservant, as the wordless hand-scarred man who remains shadowy until close to the end.

Not bad fun, but having just rewatched it all I remember are the beginning and end. 6/10.

Ever wonder what Fu Manchu would look like if Christopher Lee looked just like Bette Davis?

Stop wondering, here's the answer. Ms. Davis plays the evil Madam Sin, an oriental villainess who is plotting world conquest from her Scottish castle, fully equipped with laboratory, sonic weapons, hypnotic drugs, etc.

She abducts Robert Wagner, an ex-CIA man whom she frames as a defector. Then she dupes him into helping her kidnap a naval officer and steal a nuclear submarine. European audiences paid to see this pilot for an unsold TV series.

Bette davis was already 64, and would do "nile" six years after this! She's madam sin, who kidnaps lawrence (wagner, between thief and hart to hart). He's a retired agent, whose help they want in stealing a new model submarine. Step one is to kidnap and brainwash the sub's captain. Lots of cheap and cheesy sound effects, which quickly get tiresome. Some fun co-stars. Denholm elliott, who we all know as coleman, from trading places. And catherine schell, who played some HUGE roles before and after this. Take a moment and check out the parts she played in very well known films and series. It's campy and silly, but good. Kind of a james bond knock off film, with davis as the evil villain. Bette davis plays herself, as she always does, with her stilted speech. Directed by david greene, who had also directed godspell and roots.

Robert Wagner does a Eurospy.

Wikipedia says that "Wagner's friend and agent Albert Broccoli suggested that he audition to play James Bond, but he decided it was not right for him." (Yeah right!)

And

"The following year, he produced and cast himself opposite Bette Davis in the made-for-TV film Madame Sin, which was theatrically released overseas as a feature film."

Robert played a jewel thief who becomes a reluctant secret agent in "It Takes A Thief" on the television, as well as another jewel thief alongside David Niven in "The Pink Panther" on the big screen, and would later play a high class con-man in "The Switch" (and much, much later, he would play #2 in the Austin Powers spoof series), so it's the type of smooth operator role that suits him well.

Bette Davis plays a female "Dr No" (half Chinese and no more convincing than Joseph Wiseman in that regard) who runs a SPECTRE like organisation with designs on a British Nuclear submarine. She plans to use brainwashing to gain the co-operation of the subs captain, Gordon Jackson, and kid-knaps Catherine Schell in order to coerce Robert into assisting her. She also has a fancy sonic rifle in her arsenal which can disable and kill.

She has oily Denholm Elliott as her second in command and Dudley Sutton brings his distinctive skull like visage to the role of henchman. Pik Sen Lim and Bert Kwouk are also along to add a more authentic Asian flavour.

It's a polished TV level production, but never feels like anything more than that, plus I've never been a fan of 1960s "Manchurian candidate" subgenre of espionage movies. The downbeat ending doesn't sit quite right with me either (the price of having Bette on board?)

However I've always had a big crush on Catherine Schell, so it worth waiting around till the end just to see her in a bikini.

Catherine was fresh from being one of Blofeld's "Angels of Death" in "On Her Majesties Secret Service" with George Lazeny (As Catherina von Schell). Previously she had a small role in "Assignment K", then continued her espionage career in "The Black Windmill" with Michael Caine and "Callan" with Edward Woodward.

On television she was almost ubiquitous, appearing in "The Persuaders" with Roger Moore, "The Return Of The Saint" with Ian Ogilvy and almost any other UK drama series in the 1970s and 80s you can think of.