When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth

A movie that just seems to get better with the passing years. The dialog is in "caveman" with no subtitles, which means the story is told almost entirely in visual terms. But, hey, that's how movies got started in the first place! Worth noting is the Canary Island scenery which is fresh and evocative. The human scenery is attractive as well with stars Victoria Vetri and Robin Hawdon spending the entire production in nothing more than fur bikinis. Hawdon's career in film acting never took off but he did a lot of stage work in England and a lot of writing as well. Worth reading is his 1984 novel, "A Rustle in the Grass" -- a delightful novel (a la "Watership Down") about a colony of ants. His most memorable scene in this movie consists of "beefcake-bondage" and it comes when he's tied spread-eagle-style between two wooden posts. Fuel for a fire is then piled between his spread-open legs. Curiously, though, his tormentors allow him to keep on his loincloth which certainly won't protect his more sensitive parts from the rising flames but which will, unfortunately, block some of the view and thus lessen the fun. Well, they were only cavemen and thus have a lot to learn about the nudity factor in torture and executions.

When I was a kid, my older brother bought a cheap, B/W, very dark copy of this movie on super-8mm to play on his projector, from an ad in «Famous Monsters»... Wow! Did I love this movie!!! I must have watched it at least 50 times!

Since then, I've always wanted to see a complete version (because the reel my brother had bought was only a 15 minutes version of it) of this movie but, with no luck. Until yesterday that is, when I found a used VHS of it, and for a mere $5, I finally saw with my own eyes what my imagination could only supply till now: vibrant colors, longer scenes, "ancient" dialogues, etc...

It was better than I had imagined! I was glued to the TV set like I was 6, all over again...

I read the users comments before writing this one and found it sad that some comments, are missing the point completely! This ain't an historical movie! It's pure escapism fun! The same way "The Valley of Gwangi" is, or any Harryhausen movie was... Watching this movie made me regret having thrown out all my old «Prehistoric Scenes» Aurora model kits!

I saw this film when it was first released. I must've been 10--and I was a real dino freak. I was totally jazzed when I found it on video many years later.

Someone else mentioned getting a translation book at the theatre...I never got one. The magazine Castle of Frankenstein (real mag title, folks!) ran a translation guide that month. I still have that mag somewhere--they also ran a pin-up of Victoria Vetri in the movie bikini, wielding a spear (I had that page on my wall for months).

As I recall (and is pretty evident from the 1,004 times it's used in the film) "neecro" means evil. So "Sanna neecro" means the blonde chick is evil. Of course, she's not really evil. "Neecro" should mean totally hot, but these were cave days. And they had only 26 words. I'm pretty sure Superfragilisticexpialidotious wasn't one of them

The effects by Jim Danforth (not David Allen) are excellent--right up there with Harryhausen. They still hold up against 3D computer effects.

While the story has genuine dramatic underpinnings, the cave-language kinda gets in the way of clarity. Too often the viewer has no idea what's being said. That aside, it's a fun movie with great effects and british babes in skimpy outfits sharing a beach with dinosaurs.

Oddly, for a dino pic, there's a LOT of stage sets, and I don't mean the dino FX shots. They had a bit of trouble matching shots between set and location work. And it shows.

That aside, it's a fun movie with great effects. Any dino fan should check it out. It's not Jurassic Park, but then again Laura Dern didn't show cleavage.

Ray Harryhausen was busy on another project when this film was made, so other animators had to be hired. While the dinosaurs in this follow-up to 'One Million Years BC' are excellent, the film sadly leaves a lot to be desired.

In 'One Million', dialogue was kept to a minimum, but here there are entire conversations in stone-age language, the same words seeming to have many different meanings. It's like watching a foreign film with no subtitles. In 'One Million', the scantily-clad cave-folk were put into the film to make it more palatable to audiences who would not otherwise go to see dinosaur films, but in 'When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth', the monsters seem to play second fiddle to decidedly uninteresting sub-plots about adultery, human sacrifice and the like. The dinosaur scenes here are good, but the creatures themselves have none of the presence they had in the first film. There is no sense of awe and wonder in this film and the music is decidedly humdrum. And it would have helped if there were more dinosaur sequences. The biggest con in this film must be the fact that there isn't even a Tyrannosaur/Allosaur-type dinosaur. Instead, all we get is a Beast From 20,000 Fathoms lookalike who thinks Victoria Vetri is its young and comes across as pretty twee and about as frightening as Barney. And why on earth did they throw in footage from that dreadful 1960 'Lost World' showing two lizards with spikes and fins glued to them fighting?

If you're a fan of dinosaurs, which I am, then this film is worth seeing for the dinosaur sequences, but just don't expect another 'One Million Years BC'.

Things I learned from this movie:

1) Dirt never sticks to cavewomen, but it does stick to cavemen. Cavemen are, in fact, so dirty that it makes you wonder why cavewomen ever consented to be with them.

2) Cavewomen, by the way, are hot!

3) Giant Crabs will eat you if they have the chance.

4) Always be nice to dinosaurs if you can, they will become your friends and save you from a horrible fate.

5) Bondage is as old as man.

6) Bikinis are as old as man. (See also "One Million Years BC" for further details.) Also, they stay on under amazing situations, although only barely.

7) The words "Agoba" and particularly "AKEETA," were important linguistic developments in the history of speech.

8) In the time it takes a tidal wave to reach the shore, you have time to make a boat and fight over it with your arch-rival.

9) Never, never stand in front of a tidal wave, waving your arms about and trying to turn it back by magic. This will not work.

10) Cavewomen are HOT! Wait, did I say that already? OK, number 10 is: AKEETA!

In short, a priceless movie. Meaning that you should pay as little as possible to see it, but you should see it.