The Touch of Satan

Much to my joy, I was looking for something on my MST3K videotapes this weekend, and I stumbled across this movie on one of them...a new MST3K that I had taped years ago and never watched! Joy! Ok, so I watched this movie, and it's honestly not that bad! Yes, it's a bit cheesy in a 1970s sort of way, and there are a few pauses when people are speaking, and there are lines like "This is where the fish live", but this movie is really not that awful! Watching a film like "Manos" or "Red Zone Cuba" without the MST3K treatment would make a person long for the sweet release of death, but I think I could have watched this film without the riffing and still have enjoyed it. I thought it was a decent movie. True, it had plotholes big enough to drive a barfed-on Charger through, but it was a pretty decent movie. And I have a HUGE crush on the main character, Melissa. Touched by Satan or not, she's a sweetie who only wanted to help her sister. :(

The plot says, "A man meets a farmgirl who is actually a witch." I think the story is a bit more complicated than that, but sure...

The film has flaws. Oh, yes, it sure does. Poor video quality (perhaps fixable) makes the picture appear even more cheap than it probably was. The plot drags at times, many times, and the villain relies on some rather poor makeup (though this would be less bothersome if she was shown less). Actually, the plot dragging is the worst part. Cut ten minutes off this to improve the pace and the whole movie would instantly be improved.

Most people have probably seen this film on "Mystery Science Theater"... (actually, most people have not seen the film at all). Do not let this fool you. While the movie is bad, it is not quite the terrible film IMDb makes it out to be. I see worse films on a regular basis that somehow get better rankings. So, although this film is bad, its being on the Bottom 100 is in error -- with a few touch-ups, edits, etc. this film has the potential to be something more. Still something average, and not actually good, but far from the worst...

If you like self punishment this movie is for you. How anyone could be able to watch this un-MSTed without blowing their brains out is beyond me.

The acting of the unwitting boy and the 200+ old (but only looks in her 20s) witch are just horrible. Were these two not aware that 15 second pauses between lines are not good ways to keep an audience interested? Not that the other actors are much better. Melissa's "parents" are out-acted by pot holders and the old (at least 190 years old and at least looks her age) crazy sister of Melissa. Even Satan didn't do anything cool in this movie, nor did he/she even bother to appear (physically) in it.

The plot is in a whole world of disarray. They left out the part of the script where it is explained how the simple Ma and Pa farmer folk got to be the witch's and her sister's parents. The walnut farm which doesn't have a single walnut tree on the property, and if there is they like to eat hay. Getting rid of a cop and his car off the edge of a cliff will attract absolutely no attention to the local police of foul play. Even though he happen to be calling in on the CB when he was killed by the psycho sister. Oh yes, and finally old decrepid granny-looking women can sneak up on almost anyone and kill them (even in broad daylight!). The ending is the typical devil schlock. (I won't ruin it for those who actually WANT to watch this movie.:P) But it ain't surprising.

The most hilarious line in the movie is where the two "lovebirds" are standing and staring at a lake and Melissa says, "This is where the fish live." Nobody (or movie) can be taken seriously after a line like that.

Not even the real touch of satan could save this movie. The scene that sums this movie up is the one of the boy puking beside his car. It's exactly what you'll do if you had to sit through the *PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL* of "The Touch of Satan"!

Thank God for MST3K...

This is completely stupid. I joke to film making everywhere.

::The main problems::

Acting is so terrible, it actually made me cry when I heard the dialogue being spurted out of the actors mouths. Not one of the actors could act and I bet they never got another job afte that. though they were probably too busy doing drugs to complete any other movies.

The story is very lame, stupid, and annoying. Choke full of crap that would make even the most amateur film maker want to stop making movies. We get something in the story about witches and Satan, but nothing really pans out at all. It all just falls flat within the first three minutes of this lame movie, but by then you have probably turned the channel already. Which if I was not viewing the MST3K version, I proboby would have done within the first minute of this trash!

The mood is overdone completely and really goes into overkill within the last few minutes of the movie. I think they tried to set too much mood and didn't take enough time on the plot, which might of helped this movie.

The special effects are lame, and really only consist of bad face make-up which is really very lame. Though it is probably just the time period and might not have been helped.

I do not want to recommend this movie to anyone....At anytime....Anywhere. This movie is very lame, and a venture down amateur film making lane! If you take a stop on crap film making street first of course.

Do not see this movie unless it is with the help of Mike Nelson, Crow T. Robot, & Tom Servo. You can find it on Mystery Science Theater 3000 Volume 5. You might be sorry if you do not view it with them, as it is a headache inducing movie.

Jodie meets Melissa and soon falls for her. But it turns out she's a witch and her 120 year-old sister is a psychotic murderer. You'd THINK this would destroy the couple's relationship...but, oddly, Jodie seems pretty chill about all this.

Over the years, the folks with "Mystery Science Theater 3000" have made fun of many, many, many films. However, sometimes they must have had trouble securing rights to bad films, so they made fun of films that really didn't deserve it. Were these films classics? Not in the least. But a few of the films they made fun of were decent movies, such as "The Girl in Gold Boots", "Mitchell" and "Final Justice". Yet, because they were on "MSTK3000", tons of the show's fans went onto IMDB and gave the movies the lowest possible score. As a result, IMDB's old Bottom 100 List had a couple dozen movies on it that were parodied on "MSTK3000". I am not sure if this was the reason why, but IMDB changed their criteria for admission to this infamous list...increasing the minimum number of votes needed to 10,000 and thus eliminating very obscure low-budget films like these.

Among the two dozen or so movies on the old Bottom 100 list was "The Touch of Satan". Did it deserve to be on the list...or was it like "Mitchell"...a film unfairly targeted for abuse? Yes...and no. While the film is bad, it's not horrid. And, considering the minimal budget and no-name actors, it really isn't that bad. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but it was irritating with the old criteria that "The Touch of Satan" made the list and many truly horrendous films didn't...just because of the "MSTK3000 connection.