The Mighty Gorga

A couple chases an ape (in a far more ludicrous costume than was in "A*P*E", if you can believe in) into the wild to get it for the circus. A lame dime-story dinosaur also shows up. Naturally both feeble monsters have to "fight". While it was better then "One Million AC/DC" (what movie isn't??!!?) that was on the double-feature DVD I got, David L. Hewitt proves himself to be a worse director than his friend, Al Adamson (!!!!!). But the funniest thing about this film is that it took 2 writers to pen it!!!

My Grade:F+

Something Weird DVD Extras: Shorts: 'Nightmare', 'Prehistoric Days, and 'Diane the Jungle Girl and her Gorilla of Love'; explotation art Gallery; Trailers for :Valley of the Dragons", "Lost Continent", "Equinox", "the Lock Ness Terror", "The Cyclops", "Island of the Dinosaurs", "The Cyclops", "Tom Thumb", "One Million AC/DC". and "Sound of Horrors"

Easter Egg: Vintage car ad

There are a lot of bad giant ape films. There are also a lot of bad movies which feature less than authentic "African" safaris which are shot on tacky studio back lots with stock footage of wild animals in place of the real thing. Therefore, to stand out in this field is an accomplishment. The Mighty Gorga does. I've seen, and enjoyed, a large number of bad giant ape films and I can assure you they don't come any worse than this one. The only exception might be the Korean made atrocity A*P*E, but its a close call.

This film is absolutely awful in every way! So I was thrilled to tape this off TV one night. The ape costume is among the cheapest ever with plastic eyes which do not move. The Witch Doctor character (who also has a 2nd speaking role as a cashier in a booth at the circus near the start of the film) rants and raves a lot about evil "white men" coming to the ape's territory in "Africa" while he offers up "young maidens" as sacrifices to the Mighty Gorga giant ape. Of course the witch doctor is as white as Pat Boone and "Africa" is a few bits of stock footage and the worst movie back lot set imaginable.

The special effects are among the worst ever. I especially enjoyed the "fire" scene in the animal trader's complex. Grade Z movie leading man Anthony Eisley and 1 dimensional evil "heavy" Scott Brady team up again after being in the same director's awful Journey to the Center of Time a year or so before.

Its hard to convey in words just how awful this movie is. If you enjoy bad films, check this one out! You will be amazed.

Grab a dozen or so of your friends. Make sure one of them has a camcorder. Have another put on a (cheap) rented gorilla suit from a Halloween store. Finally, go traipsing around somewhere outside where there's vegetation. (Your backyard will do.) And if your little brother has a plastic toy dinosaur you can bring along, so much the better.

I guarantee that whatever you end up recording will turn out as good as or better than "The Mighty Gorga." It really is that bad. Which is often a good thing, except in this case there's too much boredom in between the bouts of jaw-droppingly horrendous "special effects." Yeah, they're special, all right. Some of the specialest ever seen.

Therefore, since laughter is the best medicine, the Good Doctor can recommend watching only about 15 minutes of this atrocity. But figuring out which 15 minutes is the trick.

A cast of familiar B-movie stars is most appealing. But start your gall bladder engines, quick! I cannot express feelings about the designers who created an ape costume with eyes that look to the right. That's only the minor feature this one has to offer. I'm going to dictate something to you that will shock and amaze you with a bloated stomach. No one, and I repeat, NO ONE has ever thought of filming an ape and a miniature plastic "Godzilla" that came from the Ideal toy factory, in a conflicting battle to their graves for supremacy! Pentium III graphics it sure ain't! Imagine yourself living in 1969. You'd agree why 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY blows this miles out of the sea in stunning visuals. Well, that's enough. Don't forget to eat your daily regimen of bananas and go ape wild! How embarrassing!

Lost world movies are generally fun, the sort of thing Saturday matinées used to be made for. There was an intrepid hero, a pretty girl, a wise scientist, a villain, a comedy relief and a couple of throwaway characters whom you knew would not make it to the end of the picture. Expect monsters, hostile natives and maybe even a volcanic eruption. All of which would be lots of fun. Well most of those elements are present in the movie I am here tonight to talk about. There is just one thing missing. The fun.

Anthony Eisley owns a circus that is about to go bankrupt if he does not come up with a new attraction. Eisley tells his partner that a "great white hunter" in Africa has sent him a telegram saying he knows where to find "an overgrown gorilla" and quicker than you can say "Professor Challenger" Anthony is winging his way to Africa.

The hunter who sent the telegram is nowhere to be found but his daughter April (Megan Timothy) says he vanished into the jungle several weeks ago. Eisley suggests they go search for him and the giant gorilla at the same time. Complicating matters is Morgan (Scott Brady) a rival trapper whom you just know is going to be a lot of trouble before the picture ends. Anthony and Megan make their way through the dense jungle (allegdly Africa USA but it looks like the wooded area behind a shopping mall) and finally arrive at the base of a plateau. Yes, before you can say "Lost Continent" they are climbing, even though neither brought anything in the way of mountain scaling equipment or even food!

Now the fun really starts. Reaching the top of the mountain with relative ease the lower-than-low budget of this movie begins to show. Megan looks off camera and says "Look at those strange trees!" and Eisley responds "Those aren't trees, they're giant mushrooms." Then she looks in the other direction and Anthony says "That species of plant hasn't existed on Earth for millions of years." (Okay so a circus owner is well versed in botany, it could happen!) The script really enters gonzo-land when the pair spot a South American Indian running through the brush. Now what is he doing in the middle of Africa? Sadly we never find out, that potentially interesting plot point is quickly forgotten.

The local natives worship The Mighty Gorga, a gigantic gorilla (you're surprised?) and regularly make sacrifices of the local pretty women to him. As the witch doctor says to the ape at one point "I know your thirst for the blood of the maidens is great!" I guess he does not know gorillas are vegetarians; though it offers the question of what exactly does happen to the woman Gorga carries away? Megan and Anthony find the missing hunter (whose name is either Bwana Jack or Conga Jack, no two people in the picture seem sure of just what to call him) but there is still the problem of how to get off the plateau without getting killed by either the natives or Gorga. Oh and don't forget, bad guy Scott Brady is waiting at the bottom of the mountain.

So who write this picture, Ed Wood? I know it sure feels that way but Eddie had nothing to do with this. It was the brain(?)child of David Hewitt who gave us WIZARD OF MARS, JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF TIME and GALLERY OF HORRORS among others. He was the Ed Wood of the late 60's. No really, I meant that as a compliment.

Special effects include a battery run model of a Tyrannosaurus that had previously been used in the softcore film ONE MILLION AC/DC and half a gorilla costume. I'm serious! We only see Gorga from the waist up! What happened Dave, did you lose the bottom half of couldn't you afford to rent a whole costume? Process photography is terrible,with Gorgo clearly in the foreground while Anthony and Megan are in the blurry background. The ubiquitous Bronson Canyon caves show up again, this time playing the interior of a volcano where a fire monster lives. If the stop motion dragon in the cave looks familiar its because thrifty Mr. Hewitt borrowed a few seconds of footage from the muscleman picture GOLIATH AND THE DRAGON.

So does Gorga get captured and carted off to the circus? Hey, see the picture for yourself and find out. Is this movie a so-bad-it's-good classic? No way! This movie makes WIZARD OF MARS look good by comparison. It's on DVD know so you can suffer . . . er . . . I mean experience it for yourself. The laughter you hear will probably be your own.