Hell's Angels '69

Like many of the low-budget hippy/biker/exploitation films of the late '60s and early '70s, Hells Angels '69 is a stomach-turningly terrible piece of movie making. From shot selection to sound to the acting, virtually everything about this film will make the average movie-goer wince in agony. I won't even go into the plot, because it's so dumb that I'd lose I.Q. points just by attempting to explain it. Suffice it to say that it's a typical biker movie of the era with a totally lame caper thrown in.

When the idea for the film was initially pitched by its writer and eventual protagonist Tom Stern, it was turned down by every major studio he went to. To get the movie made, Stern had to finance most of it out of his own pocket, which makes one wonder what kind of "masterpiece" the guy thought he had written. It boggles the imagination.

The only redeeming aspect of Hell's Angels '69 is its plethora of classic custom choppers, the shots of which alone are more than enough to make most old school motorcycle enthusiasts go out and grab a copy for the nostalgia factor alone. Along those same lines, it's kind of surreal (albeit interesting) to see actual Hells Angels of the day playing themselves in the movie -- most notably a young, slender Sonny Barger, who gives one of the best performances in the film (which is not necessarily a compliment).

Bottom line: If you like old V-twin choppers and/or biker movies in general, you'll find at least some redeeming value in Hell's Angels '69. Otherwise, I don't recommend a viewing unless you just happen to surf across it on late night television.

This movie is about two dudes that most likely hung out with real Hell's Angels after they became popular and sold-out in the late 60's and came up with a "perfect heist" type movie using the Angels as props for their caper.

Unfortunately for their characters, the Hell's Angels are a force of nature, similar to fire, and you can't play with them without eventually getting burned.

And unfortunately for you, I really can't tell much more about the movie without giving everything away. I'm not sure if the plot and character development was intended to develop over the course of the movie, or if they just made it up as they went along; but that was the main thing that made it interesting, so I'm not really able to tell you anything more without ruining it.

Oh, but the best part about the movie: they used real Hell's Angels to play the Hell's Angels. They even use their real names. And if you think that the REAL Oakland Angel's were going to be in a movie in which they end up the suckers, you've got another think coming. As I said, the Hell's Angels are a force of nature and are not to be trifled with. Just give them their due, and pray they let you walk away.

Two brothers have a plan on how to rob the Ceasar's Palace in Las Vegas.

They join a motorcycle gang and while the others are drinking and partying outside of town, they change their clothes and head off to rob the casino.

Of course, the police do not look for two well dressed criminals among the Hell's Angels.

Not a fan of this genre, but this is actually a good little movie with real Hell's Angels.

Interesting to take a look back at Las Vegas in the 60s too.

The Orson Wells of Motorcycle films, Tom Stern, turns in one of his best performances. For nothing more than a "B" film, this turns into a highly enjoyable robbery heist flick in the nature of Ocean's 11.

Stern teams up with his buddy Jerome Slate to play spoiled,bratty, millionaire brothers who decide to rob a Vegas hotel while posing as members of the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club. The story plot is surprisingly good and the acting and action scenes are very well done.

The Vegas of 1969 is captured, and boy has it changed! Hell's Angel leader Ralph "Sonny" Barger steals the show simply by playing himself. Overall an impressive effort by Tom Stern.

"Hell's Angels '69" takes the premise of "The Thomas Crown Affair" and re-tools it as a biker flick. It's a clever idea, and "Hell's Angels '69" is better than most biker flicks from this period, with a bit more story, character development and subtext. Unfortunately, it's still not much of a movie.

The movie's first misstep is revealing its hand from the beginning: Tom Stern and Jeremy Slate are crooks, not "real" bikers. Knowing this from the get-go removes an element of mystery, and the story might have been a bit more interesting had this fact been revealed later. Then again, the moment Stern and Slate hook up with the Hell's Angels -- featuring actual members of the notorious biker gang -- it's obvious they're not the rough n' tough bikers they claim to be. A big tip off: Slate asks the gang's sole "old lady," Conny Van Dyke, if she's ever considered settling down, getting married and raising children. Van Dyke is too clean-cut looking to really pass as a jaded biker chick (she looks much more at home in the powder blue dress and low-heeled pumps she dons later in the movie), but since that's the role she's playing one would assume she'd become suspicious when Slate starts talking like a high school guidance counselor. Apparently, these Angels were so impressed by Stern and Slate's bike tricks ("Watch this!") they're willing to overlook the guys' square tendencies.

Another misstep -- and one I'm surprised was allowed to happen -- is featuring real Hell's Angels and sanitizing them. In this movie, the gang just likes drinking Olys, riding their choppers and perpetrating vandalism, pretty much in that order. The guys get nasty in the final act, but for much of the movie they're presented as nothing more than 1950s juvenile delinquents with beards and a fondness for Nazi memorabilia.

Finally, "Hell's Angels '69" makes the same mistake of almost all biker movies: overestimating the entertainment value of guys riding bikes. You get plenty of footage of the gang riding down two-lane highways, riding through Vegas, riding through the desert, and, of course, riding through town while frightened squares look on. Yeah, they're bikers, we get it, but a little goes a long way, and it makes "Hell's Angels '69" go on a little too long.