Don't Drink the Water

Don't Drink the Water (1969) was based upon a play by Woody Allen. I saw this film on the idiot box a few years back. I wasn't that impressed with the movie. Basically it's a Jackie Gleeson movie, you have the honor of watching him mug in front of the camera doing those unamusing eye tricks, blinks and boggles. On the other hand it wasn't dreadful or ghastly. Just your average comedy from that time period. Woody Allen remade the film several years ago for the tiny screen. I never had the chance to watch it. Oh well. It has to be better than the first film adaptation. I recalled an interview with Woody Allen, the interviewer asked him what was his impression of the film. He said something to the effect that at least they paid him. My thoughts exactly.

C

I have to side with those who find this version of Woody Allen's play much inferior to the remake by Allen himself which, ironically, has a greater right to be called the original since it was Allen's attempt to show the story as he envisioned it. I think much of the problem lies in the fact that at the time this version was made Allen wasn't yet a respected director and no one worried much about preserving the "Woody Allen touch" --- except Woody Allen, of course.

Interesting note on the comparison between Jackie Gleason's take on the lead character with Allen's own portrayal years later. If you were to combine the physical bellicosity of Jackie Gleason with the sardonic Jewish humor of Woody Allen you might get someone like the recently deceased Lou Jacobi --- who originated the part on Broadway and who was, in Allen's opinion, largely responsible for the success of the play.

(By the way, I stole the line in my summary from Harpo Marx, who used it to describe the phenomenally successful Broadway production of ABIE'S IRISH ROSE.)

Estelle Parsons and Jackie Gleason are perfect together as a Jewish couple from Newark, New Jersey who are going to travel to Europe together with their adult daughter, Susan. Somehow, the trip is more of a disaster where they are considered by Vulgarians to be American spies or infidels. Nothing could be further from the truth. Despite Woody Allen's script, the movie never really flows or develops to it's potential. Despite the premise, you can't help but enjoy the sparring nature of Parsons and Gleason on screen as a middle aged couple. Gleason is a Kosher caterer from New Jersey and she's his housewife. The time spent in Vulgaria is at the American embassy during the cold war in Eastern Europe. Despite some good laughs, the film could have been better with this cast of characters. I enjoyed Parsons and Gleason together.

Seeing as Woody Allen was the credited writer and there was a talented director and cast involved, Don't Drink the Water had much potential. But while it is nowhere near as bad as some have said it could have been much better. It does have a fair few bright spots. It is not a bad-looking film, even if very 60s, the fashions are lovely to look at and give a real sense of nostalgia. Jackie Gleason does his absolute best but while he can be a little too abrasive he is very amusing. Richard Libertini also looks as if he's having fun, making his dialogue funnier than they deserved to be, and Michael Constantine gives very skilled support. There are a few good gags and pieces of dialogue, like Gleason and Constantine's confrontation, the spontaneous riot against the US embassy, "do you think it was a place that sold, guns, guards and barbed wire?" and the ahead of its time "that's the state department for you". Estelle Parssons is a mixed bag, she has moments where she's charming and her chemistry with Gleason is reasonably good but I do agree actually that she does come across as too much of an airhead. Ted Bussell is little more than a charmless dunce and the rest of the cast have nothing to do and can't do anything to make them shine. The film also feels very pedestrian, with a ridiculously overlong introduction, a story that can drag and be bloated and has some slack editing that really hurts the timing of most of the gags. The script has moments but for Allen, due to how much is changed, it lacks the sharpness, bite and wit that you associate with Allen to the extent it didn't sound like Allen's writing. It also didn't feel farcical enough, there was need of more energy, the humour was uneven and it could be too serious and not broad enough. The music sounded tacky and forgettable and really dated the film. All in all, there are some bright spots and there's much worse out there but Don't Drink the Water to me was rather average. 5/10 Bethany Cox

I saw the version starring Woody Allen and feel it is far superior to this film. The play was a hit on Broadway and starred Lou Jacobi.

Allen wasn't a big name when this film was made, so he didn't direct the film and the studio did what they wanted with it.

It's the story of a successful caterer, Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason) and his family, wife Marion and daughter Susan (Estelle Parsons and Joan Delaney) who are on vacation. Walter had wanted to go to Miami, but Marion wanted a tour of Europe. So they went to London, Paris, Barcelona, and Rome. On their way to Athens, their plane is hijacked.

They land in a Communist country, Vulgaria, and are taking photos when they Vulgarians go after them, thinking they are spies. The American Embassy saves them and protects them. They can't leave until their travel is arranged.

Their fate is in the hands of a bumbler, Axel (Ted Bessell), the son of the Ambassador. He makes mistake after mistake and his negotiations with the big shot on the other side, Krojack (Michael Constantine) don't go well. Meanwhile the Hollanders are trying to figure out how to escape and go home.

This is a funny and entertaining film, but Allen's version is laugh out loud hilarious, and Allen is a scream. The funniest scene here for me was when Walter is burned in effigy, and they dress the mannequin in clothes identical to Walter's - very loud and very funny.

Gleason is way out there in the role, very Ralph Kramden, and Parsons as his cheerful wife is very good and looks great - I know her only as an elderly woman, but she's always been a terrific actress. Bessell is excellent as well as a sincere goof-up.

Good but not great. See the Allen version, which was done as a TV movie.