The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock

Well I just happened across this movie on AMC tonight, and all I can say is it's too bad Lou Costello went from being the better half of a comic duo to this unfunny movie. This was released shortly after his death in 1959 and you could tell by his appearance here that he did not look well. Whoever produced this movie thought it would be a good idea to combine science fiction which was quite popular at this time with a comic overtone. Lou Costello plays a trash collector/inventor who must defend his 30 foot wife from the army. (No spoilers!) Ten years earlier he would have screamed "Aaabbotttt!!!" if he saw a giant woman. But those days were gone. The jokes in this movie might have been funny for their time, but I've seen the jokes here used countless times already in other films. In a scale of 1 to 10, all I can give it is a 5.

Lou Costello (sans Abbott) plays a small town self-employed "rubbish collector" (and the inventor of a time-controlling machine!) who is secretly courting the niece of the town big-shot. After a spat, Lou's girl (Dorothy Provine) runs into a misty cave--why it's misty we never learn--and emerges as a 30 foot giant. Provine is certainly a good sport, and she doesn't bother trying not to look ridiculous (it would've been impossible anyway), yet the screenwriter is really cruel to this character, turning her not only into a giant but a nagging harpy as well. Provine bosses Costello around while creating havoc with the Army troops who get called in, but nothing funny is done with the transformation. Trumped by "Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman" the previous year, the film does feature Lou Costello in his final bow, but provides little else. The special effects are marginal, while the script needed funnier lines and the direction snappier pacing. *1/2 from ****

30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock, The (1959)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A historically important film for all the wrong reasons this one is. This sad feature was released five months after the death of its star Lou Costello but it's also best remembered today for it being his sole feature without Bud Abbott. In the film, Costello plays Artie Pinsetter, a simple man who is in love with a town beauty (Dorothy Provine) but the two have to keep their relationship quiet because of her jerk uncle (Gale Gordon) who pretty much owns the entire city. Their secret is revealed once Artie's new wife enters a cave and grows to 30-feet tale. THE 30 FOOT BRIDE OF CANDY ROCK is a very sad film to watch but there's a point near the middle where a character states that he's against laughter and that he doesn't do it. Perhaps he was talking about his feelings towards the movie itself because there are very few laughs here and all the cliché comedy bits are just downright pathetic. Costello was a masterful comic and there's no question that he and Abbott were among the greatest comedy duos in history. It's also well known that his personal life was falling apart during this period and you can just look at him and see that he's really not himself. His eyes look shot throughout the picture and there's simply none of that child-like passion and fire that we all know him for. Even worse is that he's pretty much a supporting character. The first fifteen-minutes get off to a horrible start because there's a subplot with the uncle running for Governor and we get an extremely long sequence where the uncle abuses Costello except when a reporter is around then he treats him good. This "abuse" was clearly meant to replace Abbott but it fails. The entire comedy structure around this is just embarrassing to watch and the bad dialogue doesn't help matters. It's also hard to watch this film and not think of ATTACK OF THE 50 FT. WOMAN, which was released a year earlier. This film here has none of that campy charm and whereas that other film is "so bad it's good," this one here just comes across weak, unfunny and the boring. Heck, the screenplay doesn't even try to explain why the woman ends up growing. There are also other errors including the fact that she's supposed to be 30-feet tall yet she comfortably fits in a two story barn. The special effects are all rather obvious and especially during the scenes where Costello is talking to his bride yet looking in the wrong direction. Some fans debate whether or not this movie would have been better had Abbott been in the uncle role and I think the answer is no. The story is just too weak where no one could have saved it and it's a sad reminder of being Costello's last and only solo role.

Well, maybe not, but it's still fun to watch. I think they got many of the visual ideas for that Neil Finn video from this movie. It's Lou Costello's last acting role; he's an inventor whose only supporter is his girlfriend (played by Dorothy Provine). They go on a date to a remote gorge, she breathes in fumes wafting out from underground, and grows... and GROWS!

Costello rushes back to town to ask her uncle (played by Gale Gordon) for help; when he tells Gordon "Oh, she's big... she's really BIG... you've gotta help us!" Gordon gets the wrong idea, forces Costello to marry her... THEN he finds out what "big" meant when he comes to visit. Costello spends most of the movie using his inventions to try to restore Provine to normal.

It's a good light sci-fi comedy; Provine plays a gentle (if reluctant) giantess, and she also looks cute in a sheet.

It sounds as though "The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock" had kind of a bad reputation simply because Lou Costello was acting without Bud Abbott. Maybe so, but I think that the movie merits a lot of discussion about its era. The relationships between the sexes is obviously very dated. As it happens, one of the jokes centers around the fact that people weren't allowed to say pregnant on screen.

Basically, the movie is an innocuously silly send-up of all the sci-fi flicks about people becoming giants. And besides, how can you not like the sight of Dorothy Provine wearing a parachute and looking like a vestal virgin in a sword-and-sandal epic? It's not anything special, but if the point is to entertain, then it succeeds.

The sight of Dorothy Provine dressed like that is going to elate me for years to come.