How to Stuff a Wild Bikini

Frankie Avalon, on naval-reserve duty in Tahiti, does not trust Dee Dee (Annette Funicello) to stay faithful, so he hires Bwana (Buster Keaton), a witch doctor, to help. Bwana conjures up a floating bikini, "stuffs" it with Cassandra, and sends her to distract advertising executive Ricky from Dee Dee.

What to make of this beach movie from American International... it has Mickey Rooney, which is good... and Buster Keaton, which is very good (how AIP convinced him to play these roles is beyond me). And most interestingly, we have the Kingsmen performing.

I liked the running gag with the pelican, but was just confused by the "Healthy Girl" song. And why they even cast a pregnant Funicello is a mystery. I am not knocking her for being pregnant, but it is weird to cast someone pregnant in a beach movie -- she is sitting on the sand in baggy clothes, quite in contrast with everyone else.

Fairly desperate "Beach Party" entry (the sixth in the series!) has Annette Funicello contemplating a new boyfriend while Frankie Avalon is overseas. Enter...Dwayne Hickman? Frankie actually has a rather large cameo role for not receiving a livelier billing, and there's a cute ending, but these kids are starting to look more mature and their hijinks are starting to get musty. Annette sings two solo numbers and a duet, and she's perky and attractive despite being covered up to conceal her real-life pregnancy. The rest is mediocre, particularly leading man Hickman (eternally bland) and supporting player Mickey Rooney (game but charmless). ** from ****

"How to Stuff a Wild Bikini" is almost a pretty good movie. It looks good and has a game cast. It's just a little too dumb to really enjoy. There aren't any real laughs. There are quite a few almost laughs. There are a lot of songs but they are all pretty bad. The only thing the songs have going for them is that they are short, very short. I managed to watch all of "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini" but I don't think I'll be revisiting it anytime soon.

This was the last of American-International's beach musicals that starred Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello (although they'd try to continue for a few films without these two). Frankie and Annette are barely together even in the film--Frankie is more of a cameo than a major character in the plot.

Intriguingly, this musical is filled with "book numbers"--where the characters sing when they should be talking. Usually, the beach party movies just had people asking Frankie or Annette to sing at a party or at a nightclub. So, that's a change. The problem is that the songs aren't anything to write home about.

Further, the film betrays why the beach movies were losing their popularity: the surfing fad was being supplanted by a renewed interest in motorcycle culture. Only a year or two later, American-International would be making films like "The Wild Angels." This is a problem for a series where the stock antagonist, Eric Von Zipper, is a parody of Marlon Brando's biker hood in "The Wild One" (1954). The film shows a renewed interest in cycles--Annette's romantic interest, Harvey Lembeck, is an avid motorcyclist. The film tries to deal with this by transforming Von Zipper from a biker into the stereotypical 60s junior executive (a la "How to Succeed in Business"). But, you can see the structure starting to fall apart here.

There are fun moments though--particularly the opening credits (clay animation done by Art Cloakey, the creator of Gumby), and the wacky motorcycle race at the end of the film. Lastly, there's a fun cameo at the very end of the film by producer William Asher's wife...

Frankie Avalon off doing his Naval Reserve training in those innocent days before Vietnam is wondering whether Annette is being true to him back at the beach with all those other hunks around. He's stationed on a tropical Pacific Isle with lots of other curvaceous cuties around. He asks one of them to bring him to the local witch doctor for help. The witch doctor sends a pelican out to spy on Annette back at the beach.

So help me this is the beginning of the story. But it's not a half bad film, in fact it gets down right satirical at times. In addition to Frankie, Annette and the rest of the beach crew, some Hollywood old timers got some work in this film and they get a chance to overact outrageously. They include Brian Donlevy and Mickey Rooney as a pair of scheming advertising executives along with Dwayne Hickman who's their schemer in training, Harvey Lembeck as a Marlon Brando type motorcycle gang leader and Buster Keaton as the witch doctor.

I'd try to see How to Stuff a Wild Bikini if for no other reason than to see all these players ham it up. Though in some spots the pelican gives the best performance in the film.