- Homer Smith: Gringo? I don't know if that's a step up or a step down from some other things I've been called.
- Mother Maria: [the morning after a fiesta] Well, you are awake?
- Homer Smith: Yeah, I guess so.
- Mother Maria: Good.
- [throws a cup of cold water in his face]
- Homer Smith: Why'd you go and do that?
- Mother Maria: The women last night, they say that is the only thing when a man has been mixing wine with tequila!
- [walks away]
- Homer Smith: I'm gonna mix you with tequila!
- Mother Maria: The Lions.
- Sister Gertrude: Ya.
- Mother Maria: The Elks.
- Sister Gertrude: Ya.
- Mother Maria: The Order of Moose.
- Sister Gertrude: Ya.
- Mother Maria: Kiwani's, what kind of animal is that?
- Sister Gertrude: American.
- Mother Maria: We build a shapel.
- Homer Smith: It's very nice. What's a "shapel"?
- Mother Maria: [starts in German] Eine kleine Kirche. A cha-pel. We build a chapel right here.
- Homer Smith: Who's "we"?
- Mother Maria: You.
- Homer Smith: [wants no part of that project] Lots of luck. I ain't gonna build you no chapel.
- Homer Smith: [the final English lesson] Oh, *I* built a chapel...
- All of the sisters: *I* built a chapel.
- Homer Smith: *You* built a chapel...
- All of the sisters: *You* built a chapel.
- Homer Smith: *We" built a chapel...
- Mother Maria: [points to heaven] *He* built a chapel.
- Homer Smith: [pause, then] Amen.
- Mother Maria: [ringing the dinner bell] Schmidt! Schmidt!
- Homer Smith: Old Mother gonna feed the slaves?
- Homer Smith: [one of the nuns has just given Homer his breakfast; one fried egg and a half cup of milk] That's a Catholic breakfast, ain't it?
- Homer Smith: [Homer, still hungry, starts to leave to go to a diner. The nun asks him where he is going] I'm gonna go feed my Baptist stomach.
- Mr. Ashton: Say, where'd you get all the material?
- Juan: The people give them, Senor.
- Mr. Ashton: What for?
- Juan: A man, he gives wood... bricks. In time, what does he get? A chapel... a place where his children can receive the sacraments. To these men, for their children to have faith, it is important.
- Mr. Ashton: Is that why you're here?
- Juan: To me, it is insurance. To me, life is here on this earth. I cannot see further, so I cannot believe further. But, if they are right about the hereafter, I have paid my insurance, Senor.
- [Splashing himself with water outside]
- Homer Smith: Oh! Why couldn't they have asked me to build a bathtub? With nice, *hot* water?
- Man donating chandelier: Senor...
- Homer Smith: [turns to see a Mexican couple with a beautiful chandelier] Yes? Oh my. Well, we're going to have to find someplace special for this. Thank you.
- Homer Smith: [wife takes his hand in gratitude] Well, take this to Mother Maria.
- [turns to Ashton]
- Homer Smith: Everybody wants to give.