Nude on the Moon

It takes a lot to make me laff out loud during a movie, but this flick certainly did the job. Beyond-belief atrocious acting; a "script" that'll make you pine for the wit and wisdom of Edward Wood; special effects that make "Plan 9"'s look like "The Matrix"; a bunch of topless, football-tossing, antenna-sporting, average-looking-at-best "moon babes"; a virtual lack of synchronized dialogue; and an annoyingly catchy theme song all add up to one completely unbelievable experience. Just wait till you see the two "scientists" talking to each other in their Earth-bound spaceship, using microphones despite the fact that they are SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER!!! You'll fall right off your Barcalounger! Seriously, though, folks, despite the laffs, this one was kinda hard to sit through. It really is baaaaaaaaaaaaad! Do yourself a favor and watch "Queen of Outer Space" for the 15th time instead!

If there were an Oscar category for most sincere performance in a ridiculous movie (and there should be!), Lester Brown and William Mayer would surely have been nominated for their work in Doris Wishman's "Nude on the Moon," a jaw-dropping sci-fi "nudie cutie" in which Brown and Mayer play a pair of intrepid astronauts who discover the first interplanetary nudist colony.

Brown, a handsome Wishman veteran who also appeared in Doris's "Blaze Starr Goes Wild" (1960), "Gentlemen Prefer Nature Girls" (1962), and "Behind the Nudist Curtain" (1964), plays dedicated young scientist Jeff Huntley, who decides to use his $3 million inheritance to finance a trip to the Moon along with mentor and colleague William Mayer (i.e., the "Professor.")

One of the amazing things about the film is the amount of time and care devoted to its exposition and set-up. The extended opening sequence is surprisingly well written, and is easily on par with any sci-fi "B" movie from the early sixties. Brown and Mayer are credible and convincing throughout, which only makes the lunacy (no pun intended) all the more surreal. Their straight-faced, deadpan performances help make the film the giddily preposterous gem that it is.

Top billing is afforded nudie model "Marietta," who appears in the double roles of Brown's secretary, Cathy, and the Moon Queen. She was obviously cast on account of her physical attributes, yet she's actually a decent actress, and her brief scenes as Brown's lovestruck secretary are sincere and believable.

The film opens with a cheesy and inexplicably lengthy shot of the twinkling heavens as might be viewed from the moon, accompanied by Judith J. Kushner's catchy title song, "Moon Dolls," sung by Ralph Young, who would later partner with Belgian singer Tony Sandler to form the famous recording duo of Sandler and Young. (Another interesting footnote: Doc Severinsen of Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show" not only contributed to the musical score but also appears in the cast list, though I challenge anybody to recognize him as one of the half-naked "moon men.")

One of the great things about this movie is the sunny, Florida-travelogue photography. And there are one or two beautiful and almost breathtakingly unconventional shots of our heroes driving along rain-slicked Miami blacktop under a menacing canopy of thunderheads.

There's also a clever in-joke that occurs whilst our intrepid astronauts drive through Miami Beach on their way to the launch pad. Just as Clint Eastwood walked past a movie marquee advertising the Eastwood-directed "Play Misty for Me" in Don Siegel's "Dirty Harry," Brown and Mayer drive past Miami Beach's Variety Theater, the marquee of which is emblazoned with the title of another Doris Wishman film, "Hideout in the Sun" (in "Nuderama!")

The great drive-in movie critic Joe Bob Briggs listed "Nude on the Moon" as one of his "Sleaziest Movies in the History of the World," however I would respectfully disagree. For sheer sleaze, the film hardly measures up to Wishman's "Bad Girls go to Hell" (1965), "The Amazing Transplant" (1970), or her latest offering, "Satan was a Lady" (2001). In spite of the liberal above-the-waist nudity, "Nude on the Moon" is one of the least sleazy movies I've ever seen. I've seen many films with far fewer bared breasts that were a thousand times sleazier. If anything, this most famous of Wishman's films strikes the viewer not with its venality but its astounding innocence.

One of the most interesting things about the film was that it was shot at the oddball south Florida tourist attraction, Coral Castle, the bizarre history of which is detailed in Florida journalist Eliot Kleinberg's entertaining book "Weird Florida." Coral Castle was also used as a location in James L. Wolcott's "Wild Women of Wonga" (1958) and Herschell Gordon Lewis's obscure fantasy opus, "Jimmy, the Boy Wonder" (1966).

Cult fans will immediately recognize blonde cutie Shelby Livingston in a non-speaking part as one of the fetching "Moon Dolls." Shelby is best remembered for her role as disaffected housewife Bea Miller, who gets her arm hacked off in H.G. Lewis's southern-fried gorefest, "Two Thousand Maniacs."

A delirious mixture of campy humor, harmless nudity and Florida kitsch, "Nude on the Moon" is a priceless cinematic gem from a more innocent time. A silly, wonderful, charming little film.

The best thing about 'Nude On The Moon' is the title, which promises kitsch fun that the movie never quite delivers. It's one of those "legendary" cult movies that you only really watch so that when someone at a party asks you if you've seen it you can say "yes, I have". The late Doris Wishman made a few Chesty Morgan pictures and other sexploitation movies that fans of the genre rate highly, but this is from her early, much more innocent nudie period. Watching this movie you must keep in mind that it was a big deal at the time to get to see some breasts in a movie. That's the only reason this film exists! Instead of the usual peek at clean living nudists concept quite common during this period, Wishman uses a sci fi "twist" to basically make yup, you got it, a clean living nudists movie. Only these gals are "Moondolls" and live on (obviously!) the Moon. The movie only goes for 70 minutes but the two knucklehead scientists (Lester Brown, William Mayer) take 20 minutes to get to the freakin' moon, and another five are wasted before we get see any naked women. Well okay, no-one's actually naked, just topless. Most of the Moondolls aren't that fetching, but their queen/goddess (played by Marietta) is actually pretty hot and has a great pair of lungs. The younger and stupider scientist doesn't seem to notice that she looks like his secretary back home, Cathy (played by, yes, Marietta), who of course is secretly in love with him, but I'm sure you can guess how the movie will end waaaaay before he does. I've sometimes heard 'Nude On The Moon' being inexplicably described as "sleazy", it's anything but. Russ Meyer it ain't! The movie is so lightweight and innoffensive nobody but a total prude would even blink at it. Unfortunately this makes it very dull viewing.

This movie has a great premise! Astronauts undertake on a mission to the moon. When they reach their destination, it appears to be overrun by dishy females in the nude. Setups for dramas of life and death, of love and betrayal... but no payoffs! The great disappointments of this gem of the sixties is that it forgets its story upon reaching the moon. Instead we see lots and lots of barely dressed girls having a good time. This plot-turn would be quite understandable if they were in fact nude, but compared to modern times, we see no more that one might hope for at a public beach. However the dialogues are amusing, and the production-design is unforgettable. "Nude on the Moon" leaves one with the hope for a modern remake (true to the title) that dares to challenge modern day Hollywood from its current puritan "make war not love" attitude and show the american youth that it is no bigger shame to flash their butts and on celuloid. Unfortunately: they dont make them like this anymore!

Doris Wishman belongs to that category of film directors that include Russ Meyer, John Waters, Herschell Gordon Lewis and Ed Wood. These are film-makers who make movies that are simply uncategorizable. Either you get it or you don't.

In "Nude on the Moon" the moon looks suspiciously like the Coral Castle in Florida and is inhabited by a bunch of nude women with flabby bodies and bad hair. Nothing much happens. You just get to ogle. The movie is about boobies.

Never has nudity been more wholesome. This is a nudie pic for the whole family. Your children can sit and watch it and laugh right along with you. There's nothing offensive. What a great way to dispel unhealthy attitudes towards the human body! You can teach your kids not to have a snickering, lewd attitude towards their bodies and to accept them as a natural part of life. Then they'll get bored and leave to go do something else while you sit there amazed that such a wiggy movie ever got made. With a Doc Severenson theme song!

I also appreciated how this movie so accurately depicts what life is like on lunar nudist colonies. If any of you have ever been, you will understand. Don't you get sick and tired of Hollywood misrepresenting nudity in outer space? I do.