The Iron Maiden

I first saw this in in the cinema when it was released. A big treat at the time. Later recorded it off the TV and would love to buy the DVD. It isn't perfect and there are plot holes however, it only requires a little suspension of disbelief.

It's a warm family film and gives me comfort in stressful times. A step up from the Carry Ons with some magnificent cameo performances.

The machinery is fascinating and this film is where my love of traction engines began. The cars are also stars. It's also a reminder of the days when we had a vibrant aircraft industry.

The English countryside in summer has never looked better.

There is just sufficient jeopardy and romance to make a complete story.

It's not called 'The Swingin' Maiden' that is a recent made up name, for some unknown reason to me, it was originally titled and has always been 'The Iron Maiden' (note the name of the engine in the film).

I gave this review with that title. It's made by the Carry On team and includes some of their actors, it could have been called "Carry on Steaming", but maybe not, despite being made by them it's not really in the Carry On style, it's more like an Ealing Comedy, the Carry on actors included are Joan Sims and Jim Dale, with Cyril Chamberlain who also did Ealing comedies and Judith Furse who did a variety of stuff.

It's more of a 50's Rom Com (although made in the 60's) style, and similar style and content to Genevive with Kenneth More, this time it's got Michael Craig, with Anne Helm as his American love interest. Anyway it's a pretty good film, nice countryside, with good photography, and its well made. The big stars are of course the steam traction engines and the guest star the Handley Page Victor, one of the beautiful V-Bombers from the 50's.

If you want to fantasise what 1950's England was like, this is the film, although if it ever was like that it was only in small parts, it's not like that any more, and mostly it never was.

But it is a lovely film, and while the lockdown is in full flow, something very nice to watch any afternoon.

Update 2024, Having looked at it again, I noticed that IMDB have returned its true title to this film, and it is now back as "The Iron Maiden", and about time too.

THE IRON MAIDEN is a film that feels for all the world like the producers were able to hire a traction engine for a month or so and decided to write a script around it. What follows is a typically genteel British comedy full of the usual hijinks and appearances from familiar faces; it's hardly classic material, but it remains a fun if slight feature from beginning to end.

The film was made by the director/producer team of Gerald Thomas and Peter Rogers, best known for their long-running CARRY ON series, and indeed they throw in a couple of cameos for Jim Dale and Joan Sims early on in a bid to hammer home the similarities. Unfortunately the script is saddled with a couple of stiffs for the lead roles, but the supporting cast is much more enjoyable and includes parts for the familiar likes of George Woodbridge and Sam Kydd. Best of all is the alluring Anne Helm, impossibly glamorous as the female lead.

An American airline executive, together with his wife and daughter visit Britain with a view to placing a contract for a new supersonic airliner. However two companies are offering rival products, and between trips to Ascot and Henley, the pretty but wilful daughter wreaks havoc (earning herself a spanking along the way...) whenever she meets one of the aircraft designers, who is also a steam enthusiast. Who will win the contract? Will the daughter find love?.

This Peter Rogers production was a one-off film. It will be compared to other quaint transport-related films (Genevive, Titfield Thunderbolt etc) as well as the 'Carry-On' films. Whilst such comparisons are not unfair, this film is really its own thing.

The cast is OK, with some good cameo performances and minor roles from excellent actors. Some folk will criticise Michael Craig's somewhat stiff performance, but I'm not sure this is entirely justified; he has to play it pretty straight, else he wouldn't be a credible aircraft designer. Could you imagine (say) gurning Jim Dale as an aircraft designer? -thought not...!.

An interesting feature of this film are the steam engines, aircraft, cars etc seen in various locations. We get to see (briefly) the liner 'United States' at Southampton dock, the (very 'Dan Dare' -looking) Handley-Page Victor at the Radlett works, with various 'Heralds' in the background and various cars. An Alvis 3-litre makes an appearance, (as does an Austin Princess I think) and the main cars used (a Cadillac and two Rolls-Royces) are seen in many locations, including several accidental ones; in several shots the Cadillac or the Rolls Royce can be seen 'in the wrong place' in the background.

Other locations used include the A404 (several times), Henley regatta (which would look the same even today), various pubs (which still exist) and Woburn Abbey, (which is used for two different steam rallies). The Duke of Bedford (owner of Woburn Abbey, and a supporter of the steam preservation movement) has a cameo appearance as himself. I think the stream/pond where they fill up with water en route may be the same one as was used in 'Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang' too.

The two main traction engines used in the film still exist, but the aircraft (reputedly XL230) does not; it was later lost (tragically with all crew) in a training accident at RAF Wyton in 1973. A sister aircraft XL231 still exists. Some folk criticise the Victor in this film as not being a credible supersonic airliner; this is right of course, it isn't supersonic and is a smaller and lighter aircraft all round. However it isn't an entirely ridiculous notion; a transport derivative of the Victor was planned, (with seating for 200 troops or 145 airline passengers) in a double-decker cabin.

The script isn't quite first class and there are a few plot holes, but overall this is a very watchable film nonetheless; largely underplayed and with gentle humour, I rather enjoyed it.

Genevieve (1952) about the annual London to Brighton veteran car rally, and The Titfield Thunderbolt (1954) about plucky villagers running their own countryside railway, were two classic and much loved British film comedies where the charm of colourful memorable characters vied with that of quaint machinery. Iron Maiden exactly follows that formula but comprehensively fails. Why? Most obviously Michael Craig who completely lacks the wonderful redeeming charm of similar obsessives Kenneth More and John Gregson.

It may just be that the appeal of veteran cars as well as old railways was more the countryside they travelled through and that they carried people and all their goods. Steam traction engines in contrast were essentially industrial and agricultural machines - the fancy decoration only applied to fairground showmans' machines. Cars and trains intimately involve human stories - traction engines - seen here just doing circles in front of enthusiasts - don't. The late much-missed TV star steam enthusiast Fred Dibnah suffered the departure of his wife over his unshared obsession with a steam traction engine. Again, for the public, he, his charm and his very human story was the interest, not the ironmongery.

That traction engine obsessive Craig is also a cutting edge aircraft designer is not explained or persuasive. Apart from rare quality footage of the Victor nuclear bomber standing in for a new airliner, the aviation plot is limp.

The film trundles along the runway without ever gathering enough speed take off.