The Happy Thieves

What a waste of everyone's time this is: a boring story line, terrible dialogue, wooden acting from all the actors (yes, even Rex H.), pedestrian directing (sorry, no offence to pedestrians intended), lifeless cinematography with hardly a single interesting camera angle or lighting in the whole film (and in muddy black and white, too, in 1962! - and the lighting cameraman had obviously never seen a good film noir, or if he did then he must have kept his eyes closed all the time), old-fashioned editing, an awful soundtrack (that irritating whistling tune that keeps repeating ad nauseam, and I do mean ad nauseam, is a top candidate for the worst film score ever) ...

The only reason it merits 2 stars instead of 1 is that we get to see Rita H. in her negligee.

Good grief, how did the studio have the brass neck to distribute this film instead of burning it and claiming on the insurance?

Jimmy Bourne (Rex Harrison) and Eve Lewis (Rita Hayworth) are thieves. It helps that he's the owner of Hotel Bourne. In Madrid, they and forger Jean Marie Calbert are blackmailed by Victor Muñoz into stealing a famous Goya painting, Second of May, showing in the Prado Museum.

Rex is doing nothing other than being cool. The most problematic is that it's trying to be comedic but there's nothing funny here. Director George Marshall started in the silent age and his best work may be behind him by this time. As a heist movie, this could work if it's treated seriously. It doesn't have a driving narrative. It lacks energy. I don't think the scheme is particularly brilliant. The museum is letting them in to paint for some reason. I don't understand how they got in. The bullfighting is interesting on its own but that's some kind of crazy distraction. They may as well rob all the banks in Madrid. This could still work if it doesn't have that screwball music cue trying to declare it funny. It's not funny.

The Happy Thieves gets off to a good start. Art thief Jimmy Bourne (Rex Harrison) steals a painting from a Spanish villa. He hands it over to Eve Lewis (Rita Hayworth) for transport to Paris. Once she arrives, Eve is shocked to discover the painting is missing. They have no idea how the stolen painting could have been stolen. To make matters worse, they are contacted by a man who has photographic proof they stole the painting. His silence comes with a heavy price tag. Jimmy and Eve must steal a gigantic, heavily guarded Goya from a Paris museum. Can they pull it off?

On paper, The Happy Thieves looks like a real winner. It's got a lot o things that usually appeal to me. Rex Harrison is an actor I usually enjoy. His work in My Fair Lady, for example, is fantastic. Likewise, I usually really enjoy Rita Hayworth. Gilda is one of my all time favorite films. The Happy Thieves is billed as a Euro- heist/comedy - a "genre" that appeals greatly to me. Finally, there's some nice cinematography, interesting locations, and strong actors in supporting roles. It all should have worked.

Unfortunately, The Happy Thieves is no where near as good as it should have been. The problem - it's as dull a movie as I've seen recently. Harrison, Hayworth, the heist/comedy elements - none of it can completely save this dud. The Happy Thieves is a chore to get through without falling asleep. It's about as dull as a kitchen knife at a beach house rental - and that's dull. Call it a missed opportunity. A generous 4/10 is the best I can rate the movie.

"Thieves" opens with Jimmy (Rex Harrison ) snitching a painting from a museum, and meeting his chick out front. Harrison will go on to win the Oscar for My Fair Lady in 1965. His co-star and partner in crime is Rita Hayworth as "Eve". Hayworth really should have won SOMETHING for her work in Gilda back in 1946, fifteen years before. Also watch for Britt Eckland, who married (and co-starred with ) Peter Sellers in the 1960s....she was also a Bond girl in "Man with the Golden Gun". This part in "Thieves" was only her second role...the first was "uncredited redhead" in GI Blues, with Elvis ! So... after stealing the painting, they have lost it, and now Eve and Jimmy have to figure out what happened to it. The film is okay... but can't help thinking the part of "Jimmy" could have been someone with more personality or style. Not sure who would have done it better. Overall, its pretty slow-moving. Story by Richard Condon, who also wrote Prizzi's Honor and Manchurian Candidate. Directed by George Marshall, who had started in the silents... such a prolific actor, writer, director.

I've always had great affection for this film, for its whimsical score by Mario Nascimbene , for being able to see both Joseph Wiseman and Rita Hayworth play comedy at all and in the same film, for being able to see Rex Harrison play the same character but pulled back a bit that he did in THE HONEY POT a few years later, for the affection and attention it gives to the museum scene, and for its ingenious art theft. Most of all, I admire it for the surprising and yet convincing ending and Hayworth's reaction.