The Choppers

Not in the league of THE SADIST or WILD GUITAR, this early Arch Hall, Jr. flick is fun, b/w, and low. Love Moose, junkyard mogul (great caricature of him on the sign as well). Whatever these guys were thinking when they made this type of exploitation film is okay with me. The slang dialogue is flowing and plenty of cheeseburgers to go around.

A 4 out of 10. Best performance = the guy who plays Moose. This is on DVD with WILD GUITAR so check it out, daddy-o! Lame songs which are perfect, chicks just good-looking enough to seem like they'd be around these guys, and nice locale where they filmed it. Arch Hall, Sr. must have been a strange dude, bankrolling his kid's career this way, but what the hey!

As bad as this should be, it's kind of fun, and you could actually find yourself watching it a second and third time. Arch Hall Jr. was 16 when this was shot, and even gets a writing credit.

What makes it work, kind of, is that the gang of car-stripping JD's are NOT stupid and embarrassing, but halfway interesting and believable. And it's got Bruno VeSota at his scintillating, stogie-smelling, sausage-fingered best. Continuity? Fageddaboudit. But it's got a simple little story to tell and does it well.

And it does feature the inimitable "Monkeys In My Hatband," which you'll play again and again with your jaw dropped, wishing that YOUR dad had put YOU in a movie when YOU were sixteen and let you play that absolutely dumbass song you made up on the crappy $39 guitar you got for your thirteenth birthday and drove everybody crazy with.

"The Choppers" IS available, but you'll have to hunt for it. Definitely worth tracking down if you're huge on beatniks, juvies, and playing chicken.

. . . which isn't saying much, as besides this and the excellent "The Sadist," Fairway's output was nothing but Grade-Z trash. There are several factors, however, that raise this a notch or two above the usual Fairway garbage. One is that director Leigh Jason makes this film look better and more professional than it deserves. Jason, a Hollywood veteran who had been directing since the 1930s, had obviously fallen on hard times if he was reduced to working for Fairway, but he still knew how to put a film together, something that Fairway never seemed to quite get the hang of. Another factor in the film's favor is leading lady Marianne Gaba. While she's no great shakes as an actress, she is nonetheless competent, and also drop-dead gorgeous (as one would expect a former Playboy Playmate to be) and a welcome relief from the embarrassing attempts at acting from most of the rest of the cast (one odd thing, though, is her "romance" with Tom Brown, who plays her boss. Brown, who had been an actor since the 1920s, has to be at least 25 years older than Gaba, and that kind of age difference was seldom, if ever, seen in Hollywood films until relatively recently). Veteran heavy Bruno VeSota is his usual enjoyable if somewhat hammy self as the crooked owner of a junkyard. Whatever pluses the film has, however, are more than outweighed by the laughable, self-consciously "hip" dialog by writer/producer Arch Hall Sr.--some of the "slang" he writes for the teenagers is out of the 1940s, not the 1960s--and the almost non-existent production values. Most of the film is shot outdoors and the few interior sets are threadbare in the extreme. The "rock n' roll" score is, as has been previously mentioned, perversely enjoyable in its awfulness. A few neat old cars--especially an absolutely gorgeous '59 Cadillac convertible that is seen in the very beginning of the film and never shown again and a very nice early '50s Kaiser that is, unfortunately, stripped to the bones and trashed--and the beautiful Gaba make this a film that you might want to see once, but that's about it.

This movie essentially begins with five young men who turn to a life of crime by stripping cars which they find along the road and selling the parts to an auto salvage yard. Although they are quite good at what they do the problem is that they soon become a public menace and rather than laying low for a month or two they continue on at the same rate even though the police are getting closer to discovering who they are with each passing job. Now rather than reveal any more of this movie and risk spoiling it for those who haven't seen it I will just say that this film was quite typical for its time and probably won't appeal to everyone. In that regard I suppose it's an acquired taste. The acting was adequate for the most part with the most annoying detail being the slang dialogue which just never seemed to stop. Even so, the plot was still interesting and the presence of Marianne Gaba (as "Liz") certainly didn't hurt this film in any way either. Again, some people may not like this movie for various reasons but I didn't think it was too bad and as a result I have rated it as about average.

The Choppers is a fun hour filled B movie of youth gone wrong genre. Led by Cruiser (Arch Hall Jr), it's fun seeing how the gang operates. Man, dig that huge cell phone! Plus, see Arch in his hot rod tapping to the beat of his own song playing on the radio! Another shameless plug from Arch Hall Sr. who reminds me of the poor man's Walt Disney. Bruno VeSota, one of my favorite B actors, is great as Moose: the stubbly junkyard owner who smokes a stogie, is involved in shady deals, and takes a nap now and then. And what's up with Cowboy and his ballad "Entertain your lawyers"? For more laughs, watch Gypsy's face during the chase scene (she's got a great scream!). There's even a corny moral thrown in thanks to Torch's drunk Pop. The stereotypical 50s/60s B movie drunk is always a hoot to watch.

With a lot of slang and teen lingo and Conga Joe (hee hee ha!), it's fun to look back at deviance of yesteryear in this not wholly serious, yet entertaining flick.