Orgy of the Dead

Ed Wood's classic bad movies like 'Glen Or Glenda', 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' and 'Bride Of The Monster' are great fun, and still entertain after multiple viewings. 'Orgy Of The Dead', which he wrote but didn't direct, isn't in their league. It's simply a tedious bore.

A courting couple crash their car near a cemetery where the Devil (Wood regular Criswell) and his Goth girl side-kick are holding a topless dancing competition. The dancers are all dead. The guy and gal are caught by The Mummy and The Wolfman and are tied up and forced to watch the endless procession of talentless titty-dancers. They aren't too happy about this, and after 90 minutes of this crap you'll know EXACTLY how they feel!

It goes without saying that this is a strong contender for the worst movie ever made. Watch it and be amazed. And very, very bored!

Add this film to the "Looks Better On DVD Than It Has Any Right To" list. The recent DVD release reveals far better original material than the old VHS showed. We get to see every droplet in the swirling fog, every quiver of the dancers' flesh. We get to see just how dead Criswell's pan is. Every flaw is brilliantly illuminated. How can this old low-budget stuff end up looking better than many a modern film?

Sure, this movie is slow, tedious, repetitious and ultimately pointless. But it grows on you. Like fungus. It has an odd sincerity, in its utter badness. Somehow, nobody seems to really understand that they are making a bad movie -- the secret of the charm of the Ed Wood universe.

I have not only the new DVD, but also the full (including dialogue) soundtrack CD which I have listened to many times. I admit to a strange, childish pleasure to be typing away at work while listening to dialogue like, "A pussy cat was born to be whupped!"

Would-be indie filmmakers should take inspiration from this film, as it is proof that no matter how bad the dreck put to film may be, it can see distribution and perhaps even a profit. And, filmmaking lets you hang out with naked babes.

I'm working on the sequel now. Watch for it.

The only true Woodsian touches in this film (he didn't direct it), are the thoroughly ludicrous 'mummy' and 'werewolf' characters. Much like his 'aliens' from 'Plan 9', they seem to be pretty regular joes. For a 'mummy' and a 'werewolf'.

And of course, there is the ridiculous Criswell. He's always a hoot.

But this movie is short on hoots and overly long on 'hooters'. Basically, the whole movie is a strip show, featuring a variety of resurrected 'ghoul' women doing the bump and the grind.

Although I am a flaming heterosexual, I must admit that halfway through this film, I was thoroughly tired of looking at women's mammary glands. Of course, it is presumptuous to expect any sort of plot in a movie of this type. So get ready for.... you know what? More bazongas!

Some of the girls are o.k., even spirited, for dead ghouls. But none are memorable, and I lost track of the pairs of bazoomies I was presented with here.

This could have been a fun movie. I'll stick to my old Lily St. Cyr short films. Now that gal was smoking!

Now here are a few tips if you happen to stumble upon this "movie" and decide to watch it:

-Ignore the script (there isn't one anyway)

-Ignore the acting (the actors say things like "I'm afraid! We are going to die!" with all the emotion that goes into discussions about the weather).

-Ignore the bad makeup, the inept camerawork, the overabundance of "fog", all the technical mistakes.

-Concentrate on the occasionally amusing dialogue, AND on the naked female bodies. Two or three of them are sensational. That's the only way you can get something out of this one.

-And remember that there ARE worse movies out there. Have you seen "Blood Orgy Of The She Devils"? (*1/2)

This movie has a werewolf, a mummy, walking dead, ghouls, a zombie, the princess of darkness, and an emperor of the dead. Most of the movie takes place in a cemetery. Even with all this, you'll never believe it, but this is not a horror movie. What little there is of acting, is so poor it's a joke. The filming is terrible. Forget about a plot and trying to find out where the movie is heading. It isn't heading anywhere. Don't expect to watch an actual horror movie. The main point of this movie is to show about 10, attractive, topless women doing individual exotic dances. The dancers are attractive, and for 1965 exotic dancing I would have to say they are pretty good. The main problem is, that's it. That's all there is to it. There is no more. Watch this only if you want a poor excuse to watch some strippers dancing.