Il mostro dell'isola

MORD39 RATING: 0 out of ****

I caught this foreign dud as a kid on television, under the alternate title of THE ISLAND MONSTER. It is without a doubt the lowest ebb of Karloff's career.

Those expecting a horror film will be dumbfounded, as this bomb is about a criminal dealing with drug smuggling (as far as I can tell) and kidnapping a little girl. I've seen my share of badly dubbed movies, from the Godzilla features to the European horror imports...but this one wins the award for all-time lousiest dubbing in a foreign film. Karloff didn't dub his own character, but the guy who did sounds like he's doing a cheap Boris impression! The voice of the distressed little girl must have been dubbed by a woman in her thirties or forties...it's a riot!!!

I guess if you want to laugh at the terrible English version, you can get a giggle or two out of this. It's not an easy film to find, but rest assured that if you never see it you shouldn't lose too much sleep; it's so atrocious that it makes the last bunch of Mexican features that Boris and Jack Hill worked on look like classics.

If you've never had the displeasure of seeing this Italian ISLAND MONSTER (also known as LE MONSTRE DE LA ILE) let me assure you it's easily Boris Karloff's worst film, hands down (I'm not counting the Karloff-narrated MONDO BOLARDO). This is so bad it makes VOODOO ISLAND and his last Jack Hill Mexican "cameo" pictures look good. Not at all a horror film, Karloff plays a seemingly good-natured old soul who's really involved in drug smuggling and all sorts of other underhanded activities on a secret island location. One of these involves him kidnapping the little daughter of an investigator who's been sent from Naples to monitor his movements.

The film makes little sense, but as lousy as it is there's still something oddly fascinating about watching Boris in such a production, amidst the picturesque setting. Style is non-existent with the exception of one fleeting moment where Karloff interrogates the crying child in darkness. The English dubbing is abysmal yet it provides unintended laughs as we hear some guy doing a really bad Karloff impression while an obviously adult woman provides the silly whines and whimpers of the frightened little girl who's been taken hostage. That's funny stuff, and prime fodder for all you MST3K nuts out there. * out of ****

In the mid to late 1950s, many international actors starred in Italian films that were dubbed--so it didn't matter that actors like Anthony Quinn, Richard Basehart, Broderick Crawford or Boris Karloff didn't speak the language. However, it is very odd to see these films in English because when they are re-dubbed the original English speaker's voice is usually replaced with some voice actor. Here, despite seeing Boris Karloff, you instead hear a voice coming out of him that just doesn't sound like him--it's close but just doesn't sound like him--probably because often the voice and lips are out of sync. I can get used to this, but really wished they'd just subtitled the movie instead. But what I can't understand is when they use horrible voice actors for many of the other voices--ones that sounded bizarre. In this film, at times, it seemed like random people off the street did the voice-overs--especially since some could barely read their lines and the voice of Mario's child is absolutely horrid!! This child who appears about four has a voice that sounds like it comes from a teenager--talk about weird! Now in the case of the first three actors listed above, they appeared in some amazing Fellini movies. Unfortunately for Mr. Karloff, this was definitely NOT a Fellini movie--not even a Murry Fellini film! Instead, it's a very low-budget movie about cops and the mob--exactly the type of film in which you'd never expect to find Karloff. Sadly, in addition to the extremely lousy voice acting, the film has a rather annoying musical score (though the film is unusual in that there is very little incidental music), cheap sets and a rather thin plot.

While old Boris gets top billing, he really isn't the star of this dull suspense film and he is largely wasted. Instead, the main character is Mario--an undercover cop who's trying to infiltrate the mob. Unfortunately, Mario's wife is an idiot and she arrives in time to help spoil her hubby's cover--perhaps she liked the idea of mobsters bumping off her spouse, but I just think she was supposed to be a moron. Regardless if the wife was or wasn't the one to tip them off, the mob seems to know right away who he is and so they dispatch a sweet Italian dish to seduce the fellow. When the wife discovers this "other woman", the marriage is in trouble. And, to make things worse AND to ensure their wicked plans work, they also kidnap Mario's child.

The rest is rather uninspired and dull--certainly NOT one of Boris Karloff's brighter moments on film. Despite this being a very poor production and a waste of time, one reviewer actually gave it a score of 10!! Considering all the problems with the film and an IMDb score lower than 3, you should just assume that one really high score was made by a maniac!

Thanks to Mill Creek Entertainment, this rare Karloff appearance remains a mystery no longer. Admittedly, the English dubbing varies from atrocious to only slightly less than passable, but it is probably no worse than the Italian version, and at least a commendable effort is made to try to imitate Karloff's distinctive voice. Not very successfully, it's true, but at least the dubbers took a tilt at it.

However, what will disappoint fans the most is that, despite the title, this is a not a horror film at all. It's what I call a Clayton's horror film. Clayton's is a non-alcoholic beverage that was extensively promoted a few years back as "the drink you have when you're not a having a drink!" Thus a Clayton's horror film is the horror film you have when you're not having a horror film, because this one is actually a "who is the mystery leader of a vicious gang of smugglers?"

Aside from Karloff (whose role is not all that extensive, despite his early entrance, although he does do a fair bit of running about), the only players that impel much interest are avuncular Giuseppe Chinnici as the helpful marshal and the exotic Franca Marzi as the singer you have when you're not having a singer (maybe she sings in the Italian version, but in this one she doesn't warble so much as a note). Miss Marzi is a rare commodity in movieland, an actress who's not afraid of continuously styling her hair in an unbecoming fashion or being constantly photographed from most unflattering angles.

Although he started back in 1943, director/writer Montero didn't really hit his stride until the 1960s when he made a series of reach-me-down, semi-documentaries on sexy themes. Interestingly, the best scenes in this effort are those on the marshal's ship where the camera is cleverly placed to three-dimensionalize the action (and Maestro Innocenzi adds to the allure of sun, sea and sky with his rousing title theme).

All told, passable entertainment, provided you're not expecting too much and are prepared to make generous allowances.

I'm sure there were cheap crime movies made by the dozens in Italy, the only reason this one got dubbed-by an impersonator, is Karloff's role in it. True this is not a horror film though the title is mentioned in the film. The title sequence looks like something from a 1930's B movie serial, though these are the English language titles so can't blame the Italians for that part of it.

Boris appears early on then vanishes for quite a while. It's this non Boris section that makes the least sense as it takes forever for them to actually kidnap the child which is then the focus of the rest of the plot. A good amount of real locations help the film rise above rock bottom production values. The post sound job is really awful with missing sounds and music cutting in and out.

There are a few flashes of style but when Karloff is around it's rather shocking, given the overall poor quality, to see him running around, clubbing a guy in the head, shooting guns and carrying a kid up and down hills, rowing a boat in the open sea, and seemingly quite spry. The impersonator at least tries to sound like Boris which is better than the Italian versions of the otherwise--to say the least--much superior Italian versions of Karloff's Bava-directed films. And unlike several Christopher Lee American dubs of Spanish and Italian and German films where the dubber doesn't sound at all like Lee or ever try to which is totally distracting. So though the dubbing is terrible here at least it sort of sounds like Boris and lets his performance be a little less distracting.

So once the kidnapping plot starts and Boris appears regularly the film gets better and though it doesn't exactly build in excitement it at least ends better than it started. So leaves a better taste in your mouth.

A dog has a significant role which is fun, though odd. Better, or at least professional, post sound work and a more active music score would have helped. Probably the only reason most will see this is for Karloff and though this shows a gutter period before his 1960's work, he's at least got a part to play and a very active role when he's on screen unlike the total rip off scant appearances in those terrible Mexican films.

Reasons to see it? Boris non horror completest and The Dog. The dog's dubbing is the best in the film. Oh, PD version I saw was watchable, not good but OK for what it is. Overall the whole movie and presentation is a few significant--if small-- notches above bottom of the barrel.