Untamed Women

Okay, so it's a notch or two below the works of Orson Welles, but connoisseurs of tacky B-movies from the 1950s will find much to enjoy in this tale of four Air Force men who crash their World War II plane in the South Pacific and who then wind up on an island inhabited by a colony of beautiful women dressed in cavewoman chic. Especially notable is the dialog spoken by these women. Here are my four favorite lines: (1) "Thy lips are parched and dry." (2) "The ways of men are strange to us, O Sandra our priestess and protector." (3) "The strange-tongued one speaketh in riddles." (4) "They be only four and ye be many."

There are visual delights as well, such as the footage of nervous-looking lizards crawling around miniature rocks and trees in an attempt to palm themselves off as some kind of dinosaurs. And then there's the exploding volcano in the final reel!

However, these charms can't equal those found in "Island of Lost Women" because that movie has a more attractive cast. The females in "Untamed Women," for example, look like runner-up beauty queens from a small high school in Oklahoma, and the men are routine specimens who keep their clothes on. On the other hand, the females in "Island of Lost Women" rank on the va-va-voom scale and the two men are hot-looking hunks who shed their shirts faster than gay strippers at a New Year's Eve party.

And finally, would someone explain why a woman from a two-thousand-year-old Druid culture living on an uncharted Pacific island be called "Sandra?"

Untamed Women (1952)

** (out of 4)

Officer Steve Holloway (Mikel Conrad) is picked up by the government adrift in a raft. He's been missing for many months and can't remember anything so a doctor (Lyle Talbot) gives him a serum that will bring his memory back and force him to tell the truth. Steven then tells the story of himself and three friends whose plane was forced down and they ended up in a raft and landed on an island. The island is ran by a group of women who date back to the Druids and they also have dinosaurs, an erupting volcano and a group of "Hairy Men" they must battle. Hal Roach must have made a killing selling off dinosaur footage from his 1940 film ONE MILLION B.C. because it has been featured in countless poverty row flicks including this one here. UNTAMED WOMEN has the reputation of being one of the worst movies ever made. There's no question that it's a very badly made movie but thankfully it's hammy enough to where you should be entertained (if you enjoy bad movies). There are some pretty memorable bad moments but the highlight of the entire film has to be the scene where one of men, suffering from issues with his mother, walks off into a forest where he gets attacked by a flesh-eating plant. His three buddies come to the rescue and just seeing how this scene plays out had me laughing out loud. Another funny sequence happens once the men are in the ocean on their raft. It's raining as hard as you can imagine yet the men's hair and clothes aren't even wet. I guess we can all give Michael Caine and JAWS: THE REVENGE a break now because the sequence here is even more pathetic. The performances are all pretty bland but the four male actors are at least entertaining enough and help draw you into the movie. The female performers were clearly hired for their looks and clearly not their acting ability. The dinosaur footage is all rather campy and there's some footage from a couple others movies but I couldn't identify which ones. Some of it might have been new because there's some stuff dealing with what looks like a large porcupine. The volcano footage at the end is yet more stock footage but at least it looks somewhat good. At 70-minutes we can be thankful that the film doesn't run too long as that's just about the right amount of time for a flick like this. Cult favorite Lyle Talbot appears in a few minutes worth a footage and he's always nice to see. UNTAMED WOMEN certainly isn't for those looking for art films but if you like cheap, generic genre movies then it's certainly got enough bad moments to be entertaining.

This movie's a variation on the "men-are-stranded-with-lost-civilization-of-sex-starved-women" theme. A WWII bomber is forced down in the ocean, and after paddling their raft for a few days, the surviving men come ashore on the usual uncharted island, which is ruled by a race of women descended from the Druids (!).

That's only the beginning of the fun, as the women are constantly pestered by "The Hairy Men", who are a bunch of actors dressed in animal skins and covered by fake hair. A few of the usual shots of lizards from "One Million Years B.C." are thrown in, there are battles with the "Hairy Men", and a volcanic eruption climax predictably ends the movie. The whole implausible story is told by Conrad in flashback to serious doctor Lyle Talbot and a nurse, who find the whole story a bit wild until "evidence" of its veracity is uncovered in the final shot.

This movie is entertaining due to its bizarre plot, laughable dialogue, and plentiful action sequences. There's nothing quite like it, to be sure, so watch with an open mind.

P.S.: Nomination for the movie's best line: "Ed, stand guard. Shoot anything with hair on it that moves!"

Crammed with Lost-World-Women Clad in Loin-Cloths and Premium Hair and Make-Up.

Magnified Lizards and Assorted Creatures, some Stolen from "One Million Years B. C." (1940), an Angry Volcano, and a Tribe of "The Harry Ones", just Waiting to Kill, Rape, and Pillage.

The Girls are All Pretty and Pretty Willing to be Friendly with the Newly Arrived Soldiers, who had to Crash-Land During Battle.

There are Copious Amounts of Genre Cliches, Tropes, and Expectations.

The Strength of the Movie is the Fast-Pacing and some Clever Shots and Angles. It's Obvious some Effort went into Making this Movie Entertaining.

The Weakness is a Never-Shuts-Up, Brooklyn Dodgers Fan who Routinely Brings the Movie to a Cringe-Inducing Halt.

But Overall if You are Attracted to this Type of Thing, it will Not Disappoint.

There is Enough Eye-Candy Here to Satisfy and the Musical Score Ain't Bad.

It also Goes Against the Grain of the Usual "Happy Ending".

The Poster Version with the T-Rex is a Colorful, Classy B-Movie Classic.

Slightly Above Average and...

Worth a Watch.

This film begins with an Army pilot named "Captain Steve Holloway" (Mikel Conrad) undergoing treatment in a hospital after suffering from a head injury which has affected his memory. As it so happens his bomber was hit by Japanese flak and he and his crew were subsequently forced to ditch the plane somewhere in the Pacific. After drifting in a life raft for 8 days they finally come upon an uncharted island where they are taken prisoner by a small party of native women back to their camp. At first the high priestess named "Sandra" (Doris Merrick) wants to have them killed. However, after much dancing and deliberation the rest of the women convince her to have the men mate with them instead. Unfortunately, this idea doesn't appeal to Sandra who unties them and forces them into the wilderness where they encounter all sorts of dangerous prehistoric animals and flesh-eating plants-and it's then that things become even more hazardous for everyone concerned. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this was a rather low-quality B-movie from the 50's which suffered from substandard acting and an even worse script. Likewise, although the special effects weren't that bad for this particular time-period, it should be noted that much of it was acquired directly from a previous film "One Million B.C." which diminishes my regard for the imagination and talent of those involved in producing it even more in my view. That said, I don't consider this to be a very good film and I have rated it accordingly. Below average.