The Crimson Pirate

Anyone looking for a realistic portrayal of pirates should AVOID this movie like the plague. It is silly, action-packed and far-fetched but underneath it all it is great fun--a wonderful film for all ages provided you're just looking for mindless fun. And, for me, I sometimes want exactly that. I have seen this movie several times and each time I find myself pulled into a magical Hollywood version of pirates! Thank goodness the real-life pirates AREN'T portrayed--as who wants to see rapes, murders and alcoholism! Burt Lancaster plays the lead and his performance is completely bigger than life! His acting ain't subtle, but his charm and acrobatic maneuvers are something to watch. Give it a chance and sit back and be entertained.

Caribbean Pirates have always been a staple for Hollywood. For that matter, pirates of the open sea are selected because there's always a colorful (if you consider black to be colorful) character within most sea epics. If Hollywood were to make a realistic movie of the exploits of real pirates, the film would be condemned. True depiction of actual pirates would include brutality, torture, robbery, butchery, ravishment, rape and wanton murder and would have investors scrambling for an army of lawyers. But since American audiences are not ready for realistic pirates, they can only provide us with child-proof ones. In the nineteen fifties, Hollywood created the rousing tale of the "Crimson Pirate" which starred handsome, debonair, wide smiling Burt Lancaster, as Captain Vello. A fun film to be sure and one which includes, his old friend, Nick Cravat as Lt. Ojo, Torin Thatcher as Humble Bellows, Leslie Bradley as the villain, Baron Jose Gruda, Noel Purcell as Pablo Murphy and of course, beautiful Eva Bartok as Consuelo. It's an old formula, boy pirate hopping for a big score, falls for lovely girl who's idealistic father is in prison by royal decree. Smitten, the courageous and action oriented outlaw, is reformed and with love as his goal, risks all to redeem himself and his crew. An interesting and fun adventure for Lancaster fans. ****

In the late 18th century Caribbean a group of pirates led by Capt.Vallo become embroiled in the revolutionary activities of some islanders against the King.

That's about all the plot that you need to know, for this film doesn't concern itself with historical accuracy or the like. What it does is to place it's tongue firmly in it's cheek and take the audience on a thrilling romp in the best swashbuckling style.

Burt Lancaster plays Vallo with real gusto and exuberance, ideally suited to the all action role. He did all his own stunts, being paired on screen with his one time trapeze partner Nick Cravat as his mute sidekick. In these days of CGI overkill it's refreshing to see smartly choreographed action set pieces with real people performing breathtaking feats of agility. The support cast is filled with familiar faces from the period all giving good value in their respective roles.

The whole enterprise is lavishly mounted and shot in glorious vivid Technicolor. This was possibly one of the last of this type before Cinemascope and widescreen in general became the norm. As mentioned previously, accuracy isn't an issue here. In the finale we encounter prototypes of Gatlin guns, tanks and flamethrowers among other things!

I hadn't seen this since childhood, so I took the opportunity of catching it on the BBC at the weekend. With 'Pirates Of The Caribbean' still relatively fresh in my mind, it seemed appropriate to revisit this old classic. I'm happy to say that it's lost none of its appeal, quite the opposite in fact. Rollicking good fun - recommended.

Once you suspend disbelief you can have a glorious time at this movie. The Technicolor looks fabulous on DVD, Burt Lancaster is an Adonis if ever there were, and there's silly fun to spare all around, from the striped tights to the giddy pitched battles and doofus redcoats to the springy Cravat.

You can easily see Spielberg and George Lucas learning their pacing and craft from this director, as well as outlandish stunts and fantastical conceits. You can't help but get caught up in it.

Not only that, those two kisses shared by Burt 'n Eva are HOT. Yumm.

For contrast, view Lancaster in Sweet Smell Of Success. Utter control.

It's impossible to recapture the absolute bliss of seeing this film for

the first time, in all its impudence and style; but watching it yet again this afternoon, I found a broad grin back on my face within minutes. Burt Lancaster's cocky Captain Vallo -- golden-haired, silver-tongued, and sporting a fine taste in trademark crimson trousers -- is a Technicolour pirate straight out of the pages of legend, and it's a toss-up as to whether it's more fun watching him dazzle and bamboozle his way through the ranks of the dastardly Spaniards, every sea-rover's traditional foe, or seeing him taken down a richly-deserved peg or two when events don't go quite as anticipated. If Vallo had it all his own way, he'd be insufferable; but fortunately for the film, circumstances -- and the script -- conspire to unseat his schemes, with results both hilarious and touching.

Lancaster and Nick Cravat play off their old acrobatic routines against each other, separately and together, in a virtuoso display perfectly integrated into the action of the film. In "The Flame and the Arrow", the acrobatics felt shoe-horned in to show off the star's abilities. Here they develop naturally from the conventions of the genre, and the grace of the big man and pugnacity of the little one make for a gifted double-act. In the role of the loyal mute Ojo (as the leader of their rebel captors observes dryly, 'this one can't talk and the other can't stop talking!') Cravat repeats his eloquent, quickfire mime from the earlier production, providing the last 'word' for the film's ending and comic moments throughout.

The character of the first mate 'Humble' Bellows, with his Quakerish speech and rigid adherence to the old ways, is also a triumph. Implacably opposed to his captain's flashy plans for a double- and triple-cross on the grounds that it's more like business practice than honest piracy, and unmoved by Vallo's gift of the gab, his doom-saying has the unpalatable habit of seeming to come true as one complication after another arises. Yet he has a stubborn integrity of his own, and his loyalty is to the ship's company where Vallo's veers like a weathercock. He is a complex character we cannot in a way help but admire.

But above all, the essence of "The Crimson Pirate" is that it's *very*, *very* *silly*. Gloriously silly. This isn't about realism -- this is comic-strip stuff, where battle consists of tossing your enemies overboard into the water, laying them out cold with a belaying-pin, or stacking them up one by one on the floor of the captain's cabin; where a man with a sword can duel a man with a swinging block on the end of a piece of rope, and an athletic fugitive can escape down narrow streets by using awnings as trampolines and washing-poles as parallel bars. Like "Galaxy Quest", this film is both an affectionate spoof of its genre and a gripping contribution to that genre in its own right.

This is Adventure with a capital 'A', with a colourful unrepentant rogue of a hero, with devious Dons, thickwitted soldiery, heroic rebels, treachery, cruelty and gallantry against the odds - and generally an unexpected laugh around every corner. It's utterly impossible, of course, but -- believe only half of what you see... if that!