The Crimson Pirate

I finally got around to watching "The Crimson Pirate". What a blast! Burt Lancaster is the Pirate. His schemes and brainstorms are unconventional and funny.

It's a kinda goofy story, so you have to be in the mood for fun. (For example, the pirate's enemies are silly nitwits, like Keystone Kops or Hogan's Heroes.) Don't expect historical accuracy-- this is total Hollywood pirate caricature. But it's very creative, and everyone on the set, stars and stuntmen, looked like they had a blast filming it.

Burt Lancaster outdoes Douglas Fairbanks. He shows off his great acrobatic training and even paired-up his stuntwork with his old acrobat partner, Nick Cravat (btw, Nick happened to be the airplane-assaulting gremlin on the original Twilight Zone "Terror at 20,000 Feet".)

I feel like I missed out as a kid by not seeing it. Everyone has their own traditional FamilyTime movies ("Wizard of Oz" being a universal example). I wish I'd seen this one as a kid. My parents would've liked it too-- it's very enjoyable for all ages.

Once you suspend disbelief you can have a glorious time at this movie. The Technicolor looks fabulous on DVD, Burt Lancaster is an Adonis if ever there were, and there's silly fun to spare all around, from the striped tights to the giddy pitched battles and doofus redcoats to the springy Cravat.

You can easily see Spielberg and George Lucas learning their pacing and craft from this director, as well as outlandish stunts and fantastical conceits. You can't help but get caught up in it.

Not only that, those two kisses shared by Burt 'n Eva are HOT. Yumm.

For contrast, view Lancaster in Sweet Smell Of Success. Utter control.

It's impossible to recapture the absolute bliss of seeing this film for

the first time, in all its impudence and style; but watching it yet again this afternoon, I found a broad grin back on my face within minutes. Burt Lancaster's cocky Captain Vallo -- golden-haired, silver-tongued, and sporting a fine taste in trademark crimson trousers -- is a Technicolour pirate straight out of the pages of legend, and it's a toss-up as to whether it's more fun watching him dazzle and bamboozle his way through the ranks of the dastardly Spaniards, every sea-rover's traditional foe, or seeing him taken down a richly-deserved peg or two when events don't go quite as anticipated. If Vallo had it all his own way, he'd be insufferable; but fortunately for the film, circumstances -- and the script -- conspire to unseat his schemes, with results both hilarious and touching.

Lancaster and Nick Cravat play off their old acrobatic routines against each other, separately and together, in a virtuoso display perfectly integrated into the action of the film. In "The Flame and the Arrow", the acrobatics felt shoe-horned in to show off the star's abilities. Here they develop naturally from the conventions of the genre, and the grace of the big man and pugnacity of the little one make for a gifted double-act. In the role of the loyal mute Ojo (as the leader of their rebel captors observes dryly, 'this one can't talk and the other can't stop talking!') Cravat repeats his eloquent, quickfire mime from the earlier production, providing the last 'word' for the film's ending and comic moments throughout.

The character of the first mate 'Humble' Bellows, with his Quakerish speech and rigid adherence to the old ways, is also a triumph. Implacably opposed to his captain's flashy plans for a double- and triple-cross on the grounds that it's more like business practice than honest piracy, and unmoved by Vallo's gift of the gab, his doom-saying has the unpalatable habit of seeming to come true as one complication after another arises. Yet he has a stubborn integrity of his own, and his loyalty is to the ship's company where Vallo's veers like a weathercock. He is a complex character we cannot in a way help but admire.

But above all, the essence of "The Crimson Pirate" is that it's *very*, *very* *silly*. Gloriously silly. This isn't about realism -- this is comic-strip stuff, where battle consists of tossing your enemies overboard into the water, laying them out cold with a belaying-pin, or stacking them up one by one on the floor of the captain's cabin; where a man with a sword can duel a man with a swinging block on the end of a piece of rope, and an athletic fugitive can escape down narrow streets by using awnings as trampolines and washing-poles as parallel bars. Like "Galaxy Quest", this film is both an affectionate spoof of its genre and a gripping contribution to that genre in its own right.

This is Adventure with a capital 'A', with a colourful unrepentant rogue of a hero, with devious Dons, thickwitted soldiery, heroic rebels, treachery, cruelty and gallantry against the odds - and generally an unexpected laugh around every corner. It's utterly impossible, of course, but -- believe only half of what you see... if that!

Movies do not come any more swashbuckling than this one. Hey, we have pirates, the Caribbean, villains, heroes, damsels in distress, sword fights, sea battles, inventions, acrobatics aplenty. And all delivered with Burt's legendary smile. It is not a genre spoof, but it does not take itself seriously either.

Watching this film one can perhaps understand why some people took a while to accept Burt Lancaster as a real actor. Not that his acting in this film is bad, but the excellent acrobatic skills we come to admire betray a different background.

Enormous fun.

In the late 18th century Caribbean a group of pirates led by Capt.Vallo become embroiled in the revolutionary activities of some islanders against the King.

That's about all the plot that you need to know, for this film doesn't concern itself with historical accuracy or the like. What it does is to place it's tongue firmly in it's cheek and take the audience on a thrilling romp in the best swashbuckling style.

Burt Lancaster plays Vallo with real gusto and exuberance, ideally suited to the all action role. He did all his own stunts, being paired on screen with his one time trapeze partner Nick Cravat as his mute sidekick. In these days of CGI overkill it's refreshing to see smartly choreographed action set pieces with real people performing breathtaking feats of agility. The support cast is filled with familiar faces from the period all giving good value in their respective roles.

The whole enterprise is lavishly mounted and shot in glorious vivid Technicolor. This was possibly one of the last of this type before Cinemascope and widescreen in general became the norm. As mentioned previously, accuracy isn't an issue here. In the finale we encounter prototypes of Gatlin guns, tanks and flamethrowers among other things!

I hadn't seen this since childhood, so I took the opportunity of catching it on the BBC at the weekend. With 'Pirates Of The Caribbean' still relatively fresh in my mind, it seemed appropriate to revisit this old classic. I'm happy to say that it's lost none of its appeal, quite the opposite in fact. Rollicking good fun - recommended.