- Christy Smith: In about two minutes, a bouncer is coming back in here with no sense of humor. He's a foot bigger than you in all directions. That's what I think.
- George W. Taylor: [after not responding to Phyllis' long kiss] Did you have fun?
- Phyllis: I've had more fun drinking a Bromo-Seltzer.
- George W. Taylor: [Still suffering from amnesia] For all I know that's the first tree I ever saw; still, that's what it is; that's what they call it.
- Christy Smith: How does the inside of your mouth feel?
- George W. Taylor: Like it's full of raw hamburger.
- Christy Smith: That's just what it looked like. What did they hit you with?
- George W. Taylor: A rubber hose.
- George W. Taylor: What about that beating I took?
- Anzelmo aka Dr. Oracle: I wish with all my heart that I could take it back.
- George W. Taylor: Another figure of speech. You haven't got a heart.
- Anzelmo aka Dr. Oracle: True; but I have a brain and it was stupid of me. I apologize.
- Anzelmo aka Dr. Oracle: Then you have my word: he will not molest you. A mere figure of speech; my word is worthless.
- Police Lt. Donald Kendall: [explaining why a detective keeps his hat on all the time] You see, if you have to shoot a man, you don't want to be holding a hat in your hand. It seems that the movies are right.