- Charlie Chan: You should get married and raise large family. Once you have large family, all other troubles mean nothing.
- Tommy Chan: You're lucky to have your assistant on hand, Pop.
- Charlie Chan: Assistant? That you?
- Tommy Chan: Sure!
- Charlie Chan: Your assistance about as welcome as water in a leaking ship!
- Tommy Chan: But you've always said that two men can find a clue quicker than one.
- Charlie Chan: [looking from side to side] Where is other man? Do not see other man!
- Charlie Chan: Not glad to see me, Birmingham?
- Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: Oh, it's nothing personal, Mr. Chan, but the last time we met was in Washington, and if I can remember right, there was two or three murders.
- Charlie Chan: Murder is my business.
- Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: Murder's all right, Mr. Chan, but you wholesales it!
- Charlie Chan: [to a semi-conscious Tommy] How you feeling?
- Tommy Chan: My head seems to be spinning.
- Charlie Chan: Oh. Then you're all right. Everything back to normal.
- Charlie Chan: [to Tommy] Next time you try this, you experience sudden collision in rear end of pants.
- Tommy Chan: Pop, I've got a case that will knock your hat off!
- Charlie Chan: Can remove hat without assistance, thank you.
- Tommy Chan: And besides, didn't I get you a swell case?
- Charlie Chan: Every time you appear, I have swell case of assorted troubles.
- Tommy Chan: I don't get it, Pop!
- Charlie Chan: [laconically] Fear you are weak limb to which no family tree may point with pride.
- Charlie Chan: You are smart enough to keep eyes open?
- Tommy Chan: You bet!
- Charlie Chan: Do likewise - keep mouth shut!
- Charlie Chan: [to Tommy as he looks over Charlie's shoulder] Please remove breath from back of my neck! Go away! Go away!
- Charlie Chan: Never start anything unless I see end of road.
- Dr. Paul Recknik: How are you coming along to date?
- Charlie Chan: Did not say which end of road I could see.
- Charlie Chan: [looking at funhouse figures] See one with no head?
- Tommy Chan: Un-huh.
- Charlie Chan: He remind me of you.
- Tommy Chan: [entering room where Charlie is being held by thugs] Hi ya, Pa! What're you doing in there?
- Charlie Chan: [laconically] Like puppy who come to smell subway third rail, you will receive complete information in few moments.
- Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: [after knocking bad guy unconscious by breaking flashlight over his head] Uh-oh! Mr. Chan, I ruined your flashlight!
- Charlie Chan: [looking at bad guy on the floor] Even trade... his light out, too!
- Charlie Chan: Bull in china shop is gentle creature compared to detective who make pass at man wearing glasses.
- Charlie Chan: Three murders. All different. Dog cannot chase three rabbits at same time. Manning Case like modern highway. Sooner or later come to detour.
- Catlen: Hold it, you! Stop that moving!
- Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver: I ain't movin', mister. That's just goose pimples galloping all over me.
- Charlie Chan: You are like turtle. After everything all over, you stick head out and find truth right under your very nose.