- Jo Hayden: Gee, what do you do when you love somebody so much, and they don't even know you're around?
- Jimmy K. Metcalf: I dunno Jo. I guess you just keep right on loving them.
- Eve Minard: But I'm sorry you love him so much.
- Jo Hayden: Why?
- Eve Minard: Because he isn't worth it.
- Jo Hayden: It's way down deep inside of me. He's wrong, and I love him. He's right, and I love him. It's no good.
- Harry Palmer: You think anything's going to stand in the way of us playing the Palace this time? Oh no, not even a war.
- Jo Hayden: [singing] Jazzin' around and paintin' the town, How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm? That's the mystery, Imagine Reuben when he meets his Pa, He'll kiss his cheek and holler,"Oh là là!" How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm, After they've seen, after they've seen, after they've seen Paree?
- Jo Hayden: Who's the want ad with the squirrel around his neck?
- Jimmy K. Metcalf: Single act, name of Palmer.
- Jo Hayden: His act can't be as funny as that coat.
- Jimmy K. Metcalf: You know what's been the matter with you? You've been walking around with a picture book villain in your pocket and every once in a while you take a look at it like it was a mirror.
- Jimmy K. Metcalf: [singing] I want a beautiful doll, A great big beautiful doll, I want a doll that I can find romance with, A doll that I can sing and dance with, And if you have such a doll, Such a won-won-wonderdul doll, You may wrap it up and I will pay in cash, But wrap it carefully, So that it won't smash, Oh, me, show me, a great big beautiful doll
- Lily Duncan: The first doll I will show to you, Will knock you for the loopy...
- Jo Hayden: Look, I didn't like you at seven o'clock this morning and I don't like you now. And if you keep playing your cards right, I'm gonna to wind up hating you. So why don't you just evaporate, fade away, dissolve?
- Harry Palmer: Ah, breathless, why don't you come off it. You know you're going to wind up calling me pet names.
- Harry Palmer: [singing] The bells are
- Harry Palmer, Jo Hayden: Ringing for me and my gal, The birds are singing for me and my gal...
- Harry Palmer: Listen, fancy face, I caught you on the stage this afternoon. You sing like a bird, dance like a deer, look like a wedding ring; but that act you're with - ho-ho, that's two pins and a lollipop.
- Jo Hayden: What do you mean?
- Harry Palmer: It's murder. That's what I mean. Why don't you get bright. You're too fast for that buggy.
- Harry Palmer: Is this our lucky day, or isn't it? First we fall in love, and now this! We're on a big time, baby. We're on the big time! We're gonna play the Palace! Do you hear? The Palace!
- Harry Palmer: I suppose you can celebrate in Newark, can't you?
- Jo Hayden: Listen, I feel like I could lead a parade in a telephone booth!
- Dough Boy Dan: [singing] We don't want the bacon, We don't want the bacon, What we want is a piece of the Rhine, We'll crown "Bill the Kaiser", With a bottle of Budweiser., We'll have a wonderful time...
- Eve Minard: Drink?
- Harry Palmer: Sure.
- Eve Minard: Chartreuse, Crème de menthe, Vieille Cure?
- Harry Palmer: Surprise me.
- Jo Hayden: [singing] Don't leave me, Daddy, Won't you tell me why you're leaving, When you're near me, Dearie, Life to me is cheery, Oh, oh, what a feeling, Think what you're missing, Lots of huggin' and some kissing, I don't care how mean you are to me, Daddy don't you leave me now, Sweet Papa, Daddy don't you leave me now