- [first lines]
- Richard Bruce: Oh, hello.
- Elsie, the maid: Good evening, Sir. The valet's ill, so I'll be taking over.
- Elsie, the maid: And Sir, if you do go out this evening, may I respectfully recommend that you be careful?
- Richard Bruce: Oh, I can take care of myself, I guess.
- Elsie, the maid: You're in a strange place, Sir. And if I may say so without givin' offense, you do seem an innocent sort of a gentleman.
- Holmes the Burglar: [after a failed break-in] No good, Governor. You'll find half a dozen of them patent bolts. Bright feller invented them ought to be jailed.
- Holmes the Burglar: Here Governor, what's your game, eh?
- Richard Bruce: Oh, we're just looking around.
- Holmes the Burglar: Huh?
- Rose Thorne: You see, he's an American and he's always longed to see the roofs of London.
- Holmes the Burglar: Ain't they got any roofs in the United States?
- Rose Thorne: Well, uh, very different. Um, wigwams, you know.
- [last lines]
- Richard Bruce: There's only one worries me now.
- Rose Thorne: What?
- Richard Bruce: You think you're going to like America?
- Holmes the Burglar: [singing] Oh, I wish I had someone to love me. Someone to call me their own.