Million Dollar Legs

First of all, bear in mind that this movie was made in 1932, not 2002. Then, do a little research into the popular media of the day, and you'll get the jokes a lot better. This is one of the funniest movies ever, and it is lightyears ahead of its time. The non-sequiturs (that means lines that don't make sense), the quick cuts, the topical humor - I just love it. What can you say about a country where all the men are named George, and all the women are named Angela? Why? Why not?? Let's take a few examples: do we all understand that it's the Fuller Brush Company that's being kidded in the first scene? Do you know about the terrorists of the day - the 'anarchists' - who were generally portrayed in black capes and hats, carrying daggers and pistols and those old fashioned bombs that look like cannon balls with fuses in them? Do you get the joke - Mata Machree? The image of the femme fatale Mata Hari, coupled with an old Irish song about Mom called "Mother Machree". Do we get that Lyda Roberti (who was Polish) is supposed to be Swedish, since Greta Garbo was the biggest star of the day? And the 'old Klopstockian Love Song' is sung to the tune of "One Hour with You," which was not only a popular film with, I believe, Maurice Chevalier, but was the theme song of the Eddie Cantor radio show, the most popular show of 1932? Movie audiences of the day would have gotten it.

Jack Oakie is perfect as the fast-talking brush salesman who saves Klopstockia. He is definitely a forerunner in style of not only Bob Hope, but of Robin Williams. Fields is hilarious, but so is everyone in this movie. Susan Fleming wasn't much of an actress, but she was beautiful. I just love Roberti, who came from a famous acting clan in Poland, and who died tragically young. She was a hoot, and could have had a memorable career. My favorite line of hers, when she does her hootchie kootchie dance to try to inspire Hugh Herbert to greater feats of strength: "I been done all I can do - in public." There are so many other quotable lines in this movie - it's the kind of movie you watch and recite along with the actors.

It helps to understand this movie to know a little something about what was 'in' in 1932, but it isn't absolutely necessary. The movie has enough funny lines and slapstick even by today's standards. It's also valuable as an example of the kind of editing we now take for granted. The kind of quick cutting and blackouts that we would see in, for example "Laugh-In," was rare in 1932. This was probably the first really screwball comedy, and it's the screwiest one of all.

W. C Fields is the hot tempered President of Klopstokia, an impoverished country where the Presidency is decided by arm wrestling matches. All Klopstokians have impossible athletic abilitites. This 1932 classic is a fun, wacked out laff riot. The writing is perfect. (Sample Fields dialog; "The Constitution forbids me to hit a man under 200 pounds." "I just had my lunch of roast goat stuffed with eel." Lyda Roberti is hysterical as Mata Macree, a Brooklyn accented femme fetale "Not too clozz boyzz, youse catch on fi-yer." 62 minutes of genius comedy.

One simply....one of the funniest movies of the 1930's. Everything's perfect in this little, silly comedy about a small country trying to get out of their financial con-dish by getting a sponsor for their people in the Summer Olympics.

The entire cast is just great from W.C. Fields down to Vernon Dent and Billy Gilbert.

One of the funniest lines: (To Mata Macree's butler:) "I want to see this woman no man can resist." (Butler:) "Madam is only resisted from 2-4 in the afternoon."

This film, along with "International House" and "If I Had A Million" is the kind of silly, clever comedy that only Paramount could've released.

There is room among movie aficionados to do a full study about "Ruritanian" Romances and films. Besides THE PRISONER OF ZENDA the number of films dealing with fictitious foreign states include musicals, comedies, and even straight political dramas. While all the studios put them out, Paramount certainly seemed to do more of them than the others. Look at THE LOVE PARADE, THE MERRY WIDOW, DUCK SOUP, and the present film, MILLION DOLLAR LEGS. Basically these countries have very poor populations ("Klopstokia" in MILLION DOLLAR LEGS is said to be basically made of nuts and goats; "Marshovia" in THE MERRY WIDOW, and "Freedonia" in DUCK SOUP depend on the largess of one rich woman in each country). The politics are not really democratic. "Sylvania" in THE LOVE PARADE is a monarchy, and has a particularly ruthless (if hapless) ambassador at work for it in DUCK SOUP. "Freedonia" in DUCK SOUP gives up democracy to satisfy a condition for a loan, and adopts an eccentric dictator (although a sharp one). And, although "Klopstokia" has a President, the election is based on physical strength - not on actual popular demand. Moreover W.C.Fields is as capricious in his way as Groucho Marx was in DUCK SOUP. Witness how Fields imagines a General he is dictating a letter to has insulted him, and breaks him to the rank of private.

It is a land of intrigue - for some incomprehensible reason Ben Turpin keeps turning up as a spy on the goings on of Fields and everyone else. The Vice President (Hugh Herbert - not quite so silly in this film as in others) keeps looking for ways of turning out the President either legally or by underhanded ways. When Klopstokia sends a large team of splendid athletes to the 1932 Los Angeles Olympics, Herbert hires the world's greatest vamp/spy - Mata Machree (Lyda Roberti) to demoralize and split up the team (and so discredit the President).

Fields is forced to rely on Migg Sweeney, a brush salesman (Jack Oakie) who is romancing Fields' daughter Angela (Susan Fleming) by singing the national love song, "Woof Blugle Gif" which is based on the tune of "One Hour With Your" from the Paramount film of the same name. He fortunately never gets to sing the entire song in the movie - he does play it on his ukulele. Migg manages, despite his fear for his safety from his prospective father-in-law, does do the best he can to keep the team in tack, and to try to bring it to Olympic gold.

The film is fast, as well as funny. I would give it an 8 out of 10.

They don't make 'em like this anymore! In fact, they hardly ever made 'em like this in the first place. Million Dollar Legs is one of a kind, a truly bizarre comedy with attitude to spare and an otherworldly quality all its own. This is a Flesicher cartoon come to life, full of weird non sequiturs, sassy quips, slapstick violence and sexy dance moves. It's hard to believe that such an off-the-wall concoction was the product of the Hollywood studio system of the '30s; it looks more like something written by Algonquin Round Table wiseacres during a late night, booze-fueled party. The closest cinematic parallel would be the Marx Brothers' Duck Soup, made at the same studio (Paramount) by the same producer (Herman J. Mankiewicz) a year later. Both movies take place in mythical countries and include elements of political satire, with oblique references to the financial crisis then sweeping the globe. Both movies were made when Fascist and Soviet totalitarianism was on the march, and both use crazy verbal and visual gags to suggest a world gone mad. Still, Million Dollar Legs is the one that takes the madness concept deeper into the Outer Limits. The Marx Brothers' classic may be a funnier and more tightly made comedy, but this flick is crazier. Viewers with a taste for surreal silliness will be in seventh heaven.

This film was made in anticipation of the 1932 Los Angeles Olympics. The Paramount brass wanted to have something ready to go into theaters in conjunction with the games, and instead of a routine sports picture it was suggested that a comedy would be novel. The project was given to Herman Mankiewicz to supervise, since he'd worked with the Marx Brothers on Monkey Business and seemed to have a knack for this sort of thing. Mankiewicz, an eccentric wit from New York who'd been a regular member of the Algonquin literary set, assigned the script to his 24 year-old brother Joe and a writer named Henry Myers. In later years Joseph L. Mankiewicz told interviewers that the studio brass responded favorably to his crazy ideas and didn't seem too concerned about what kind of movie it turned out to be, as long as it involved the Olympics. One wonders how those Front Office executives -- not to mention Olympics Committee officials -- reacted when they saw the results.

Our story is set in the republic of Klopstokia, a land that time forgot where, we're informed, the chief imports, exports, and inhabitants are nuts and goats. In Klopstokia all the women are named Angela and all the men are named George -- except for our leading lady's little brother Willie, who shoots people in the butt with arrows. The place has a forlorn backwater atmosphere, although the inhabitants all possess superhuman athletic ability. The plot concerns a visiting American brush salesman (Jack Oakie) blessed with the name Migg Tweeny, who falls in love with a Klopstokian girl (Susan Fleming) who happens to be the daughter of the country's beleaguered President (W.C. Fields). Tweeny's boss is eager to bestow money on deserving athletes, so Tweeny, who has been fired, contrives a plan to recruit a team of Klopstokian super-athletes for the Los Angeles Olympics. Thus he can win prize money for Klopstokia, win back his job, and win his girl. The President, meanwhile, must fend off palace coup attempts in a land crawling with spies.

The plot doesn't matter, this movie is all about gags. Million Dollar Legs is generally remembered today as a W.C. Fields vehicle, but although he has a number a good moments he's really just a member of the larger comic ensemble. The tone of the comedy certainly isn't characteristically "Fieldsian," but feels instead like an attempt to revive the freewheeling, anything-goes atmosphere of the early Keystone comedies, updated with a '30s sensibility and satirical wordplay. The Keystone revival motif is underlined by the casting of numerous veterans of the Sennett studio in supporting roles, including Andy Clyde, Vernon Dent, Heinie Conklin, etc. Most notably, Ben Turpin makes a number of wordless appearances as a spy dressed in black. When talkies came in Turpin began a new career in cameo roles, serving as a kind of instant nostalgia figure representing the old days, nowhere so amusingly as here. Jack Oakie and Susan Fleming are the juvenile leads, and while normally I don't much care for Oakie I must admit he's quite appropriately cast as the feckless American brush salesman. Susan Fleming was a gorgeous brunette who is best remembered as Mrs. Harpo Marx. Based on the evidence at hand she wasn't much of an actress, but her awkward line readings (reminiscent of Ruby Keeler) boost the enterprise greatly: instead of "selling" the material she delivers her dialog with a flat-footed earnestness that makes it funnier. And special mention must go to the great Lyda Roberti in the role of the Mata Hari-like Mata Machree, the Woman No Man Can Resist. Faced with formidable competition Roberti rises to the occasion and practically steals the picture with a show-stopping performance of her big number "When I Get Hot in Klopstokia," a tune that sadly doesn't get much airplay nowadays.

There aren't many movies that even try to be as wacky as this one, but that doesn't mean Million Dollar Legs hasn't been influential. I would guess that its admirers have included everyone from Preston Sturges, Ernie Kovacs and Stan Freberg to the writing staffs of Mad Magazine, National Lampoon, Saturday Night Live and The Onion. The comic sensibility may not be to everyone's taste, but for connoisseurs of Pre-Code surrealism this is a gourmet feast.