Fast Life

William Haines' last movie for MGM has him and Cliff Edwards trying to get their speedboat engine perfected. After he hitches a ride to Catalina Island with Madge Evans, he convinces her father, Arthur Byron, to back him. But he's almost broke, and when the engine explodes, he's busted, leading Haines to rob yachts and leave IOUs. Meanwhile, Conrad Nagel is trying to marry Miss Evans, which doesn't suit Haines at all.

There's quite a lot of location shooting on Catalina Island, and Pete Smith turns up for a rare on-screen appearance. Yet while this movie follows the Haines performance -- minus all the gay not-quite-subtext --it wasn't enough. The standard story is that Louis Mayer ordered Haines to marry a woman and ditch his longtime partner Jimmy Shields, or else. Apparently Haines chose or else. But in truth his screen vehicles were not drawing as well as they had when he was Metro's solo talking star. He was aging out of his wise-guy-juvenile persona, and his contract was undoubtedly priced above his current drawing power. So he made two more movies a couple of years later, stayed with his lover for the next fifty, and ran a very successful decorating firm. For a Hollywood second act, it was a happy one.

Rather boring film about a wisecracking braggart named Sandy (played by William Haines) who, along with his constant, practically joined-at-the-hip sidekick Bumpy, has invented a gas turbine engine which he hopes will make them both millionaires. They meet a wealthy young lady when her Catalina-bound yacht hits their rowboat, and seems her daddy owns a "boat works" company that builds racing boats - perfect for Sandy's new engine! Well, of course, she thinks Sandy is "awful handsome", but 'cause he's such a swaggering, conceited windbag who can't seem to keep his mouth shut, she sort of pretends to still be interested in her stuffed shirt of a boyfriend (Conrad Nagel) - and meanwhile Sandy tries to get the dad to invest in his engine and build a new speedboat to run in the upcoming International Cup race.

Well, I thought this film was just so so, it drags quite a bit through the middle, and has a lot of pretty improbable action going on involving Sandy and Bumpy stealing the new speedboat to try to improve the engine, with the cops constantly on their tails, firing gunshots that never hit them, chasing them via speedboats yet never catching them, and all the while the two men keep arriving back on shore, yet never get caught! This film does have some nice on-location scenes shot at Catalina Island, plus William Haines is always likable and Cliff Edwards (shucks, no ukulele in sight) as Bumpy is somewhat amusing here. Pete Smith plays himself in this, appearing briefly as the Cup race announcer. I thought this was a pretty mediocre film, though boosted up a bit by the appeal of the actors.

It seems from some of the other reviews that some people just don't like William Haines or his movies. However, if you do like his films this is one of his best sound comedies, and his last for MGM. However he wasn't alone as Conrad Nagel and Cliff Edwards are also making their last contract appearances for MGM as that studio did some housecleaning of their early sound stars to make room for the new faces coming on board. Haines was alone in the sense that he chose to leave rather than submit to a fake "lavender marriage" to provide cover for his gay lifestyle as ordered by studio head Louis B. Mayer.

The film is quite amusing and fast-paced. It has the elements you normally find in a Haines comedy as far as his character's brashness outpacing his brains somewhat. Here Haines' character Sandy has an idea for a maritime engine that has the possibility of greatly increasing the speed of a boat. He's been getting no takers until the boat he's in is accidentally hit by the yacht of Shirley, the beautiful daughter (Madge Evans) of the owner of a boat building business. The girl's father, Mr. Jamison, takes a shine to Sandy from the start and agrees to build the boat partially as a business proposition but mainly because he wants to enter it into an international speedboat race and win the trophy for the U.S. out of patriotic pride. The initial prototype burns up on trial, bankrupts Jamison - who does not hold a grudge, and ruins his budding romance with Jamison's daughter - who does hold a grudge. Sandy knows how to fix the design, but everyone involved is broke with the exception of Sandy's competitor for Shirley's affections, banker Burton (Conrad Nagel). How can Sandy redeem himself with thousands of dollars for needed repairs that he doesn't have standing in the way? I'll let you watch and find out.

It was interesting to see Conrad Nagel play a bad guy for a change when his pleasant voice and appearance normally had him playing the hero. This is also a departure from Haines' normal part. Usually he starts out as a proud guy with the world at his feet when some fall from grace teaches him a lesson in teamwork, humility, or the value of hard work. Here, Haines' character starts out penniless and industrious, he's just looking for a break. It's an unusual and somewhat subtle endeavor for MGM into the championing of the working class over the banking class - Nagel plays a banker - that was probably popular with Depression audiences in 1932.

Also note Pete Smith, who made many shorts for MGM, as an announcer in the final scene of the film. Here you get to see Pete rather than just hear him as was the case in his many amusing short films of the era.

I'd recommend this to anyone who is a fan of the early talkies and enjoys the silly brash style of William Haines.

Ex-sailors William Haines and Cliff Edwards have developed a new kind of engine for motor boats and have come to Catalina Island where apparently everyone has a motor boat to sell it to folks who make a living at racing. Haines manages to blow it with Madge Evans, but with her father Arthur Byron who owns a boat yard and races he scores a big success.

But this is both the Depression and Prohibition and no one including Byron has money to splurge on new inventions. On the romantic front banker Conrad Nagel is cutting in on Evans at Haines's expense. Nagel does however have some secrets that he has to be most discreet about.

This was Billy Haines last film with MGM. He did two more for minor studios and then left acting for the more gay friendly atmosphere in the interior decorating business. It was hard enough to keep Haines closeted when he truly hated the idea of a closet. Fast Life however gives you a good sampling of the kind of smart aleck character that Haines made his specialty. He gets good support from Cliff Edwards as well in the sidekick part.

Conrad Nagel who was a big name in the silent screen era is playing the heavy for a change. A sophisticated heavy to be sure, but a heavy and he scores well in the part.

Over 80 years old and Fast Life is still a pretty funny item.

As much as I love comedies of this era, formulae and all, I struggle with them when there is no character for which to root and the punchline is missing. William Haynes as the "hero," Sandy, is a schemer, and you never know when he's on the level. Cliff Edwards as the his stereotypical sidekick is at least interesting, but Madge Evans as "the girl" is not. Kenneth Thomson as her father ads some light moments, even as he's being swindled by Haynes. In fact, truth be told, Haynes wants to swindle the daughter, as well, but I won't spoil that one. Suffice it to say that she's the "love interest" and you know how these pictures work.

It won't hurt to watch this if you have a few minutes. It would have been much better as an hour long film, but at 82 minutes, it is still watchable. If you're a William Haynes fan, you ought to like it.

And I agree with Ron Oliver's review in this space.