Never the Twain Shall Meet

'Never the Twain Shall Meet' has an interesting cast and some nice moments, but on the whole it's pretty average, and you can do better. The film is a typical interracial island romance from the period, with the scion of a shipping magnate (Leslie Howard) running away from his job, family, and love interest (Karen Morley) to be with a Polynesian princess (Conchita Montenegro).

I have to say, it's a mixed bag with Montenegro. It's certainly nice to see the diversity, though as usual with Hollywood mixing up non-Caucasian cultures over the years, odd to see a Spanish actress playing a Polynesian. The combination of her over-acting and the silliness of her character, shown in a rather racist way as childish and simple, is grating. On the other hand, she smolders in her scenes on the island, for example, when she lies on a bed, arms stretched over her head, and gazes at Howard, telling him with her eyes to come take her.

There are also several aspects to the film that make it less enjoyable, starting with Howard caning Montenegro because she's sleeping around. Ah, the troubles of the poor white man - Morley is too cold for Howard, while Montenegro is too promiscuous, and the combination drives him to drink. At one point he longs for his old girlfriend, who is "clean and white." Whether it was intended to or not, the film carries with it a message of keeping to one's own race, resisting the temptations of exotic women and "island fever".

All of this gives a window into the time period, but the execution here is a little off, and the plot is too simple. If you're interested in this sort of film, I'd recommend White Shadows in the South Seas (1928) or Bird of Paradise (1932), which are both far better.

We can all be grateful to Leslie Howard for warning us against the savage allures of sensuous, primitive peoples, and to value the civilised societies from which we come. Guard against the evils of miscegenation.

Aubrey Smith was in just EVERYTHING in the 1930s and 1940s. In our story, Dan (Leslie Howard) and Maisie (Karen Morley) are in love, and want to get married, but things start to happen that get in the way. Dan's old captain friend has a daughter Tamea ( Conchita Montenegro) that needs looking after. Montenegro was from Spain, and made films in the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s. There's a wrench in the works when it turns out Tamea is spoiled rotten, and used to having her own way. She has fallen for Dan and is determined to get in the way of his plans. Leslie Howard was probably best known for Petrified Forest and Gone with the Wind. Died young when his plane was shot down by the germans during WW II. The film is pretty good... one of the exotic south sea adventure films at a time when most people didn't travel very far, so it had extra fascination. Mostly interesting because of the big hollywood names in it... Smith and Howard. It's also pre-code, so there are scenes in here that they couldn't show just a couple years later. Nothing too naughty by today's standard. There's a big scene near the end when the two women have it out over Dan. Director Woody van Dyke also croaked young in 1943, but that was by his own doing. He had been diagnosed with cancer, but his religion kept him from getting treatment.

Leslie Howard, in his second talkie (he had done a handful of silent films in England), starred in the very strange Never the Twain Shall Meet in 1931. Howard stars as the bored son of a rich father (C. Aubrey Smith) in San Francisco. He's bored with his job and bored with chasing after his tease of a girl friend (Karen Morley). He's bored. Then one day he gets a call that one of the ships in his line (shipping business, you know) has been refused entry into San Francisco and that he must come to the ship with flowers. He does this and finds that the ship's captain has two surprises. He has leprosy, and he has brought his half-breed daughter to America. After exacting a promise from Howard to look after his daughter (Conchita Montenegro), the captain jumps into the ocean!

Howard takes the savage girl home and enlists the help of Morley to turn her into a lady (very Pygmalion—Howard's great 1938 film), but the two women instantly despise one another. Goaded by his pal (Hale Hamilton), Howard starts to fall for the charming savage. The pal calls it "island fever." The pal also refers to Morley as an "ice box." Anyway, Howard runs away to the islands with the girl and falls into a dissolute life as an island bum along with the local beachcomber (a very funny Clyde Cook). Getting grubbier by the minute, Howard loses all interest in anything but the girl who dallies with the island boys, driving Howard to drink. Then along comes Morley, who tries to save the fallen man.

Interesting film comparing the mores of East vs. West (especially in the 1930s) and the mating game between men and women. Howard is good (as he always was), and Montenegro (a star of Spanish films) is also quite good in one of her few starring roles in Hollywood. Morley's character is so unsympathetic it's hard to like her. Smith, Hamilton, and Cook are all fine. Joan Standing and Eulalie Jensen are the maid and housekeeper. No idea who the island bar owner is, but he was good too. The film is probably "racist" by today's standards but must have been "racy" for its day. Worst part is probably the annoying dubbed singing voice for Montenegro.

With better writing, "Never the Twain Shall Meet" might have been a decent film. It might have also been a positive film in regard to race. However, the main character in the film comes off as so obnoxious and one-dimensional that it's really hard to watch this film. I found myself repeatedly contemplating turning off the movie and I am sure I am not in the minority on this one! The film begins with a shipping magnate (Leslie Howard) being given custody of a 'girl' who is part Polynesian. This girl is actually about 20--and so you can't help but laugh when Howard keeps treating Tamea (Conchita Montenegro) like a kid. As for Tamea, as I mentioned above, she is just plain obnoxious and about as subtle as a nudist at a Baptist picnic! She comes off less as a Polynesian in America and more like a dog in heat. I know that sounds crude, but she IS crude--and everyone in the movie EXCEPT Howard's character knows she is a horny she-demon (subtle...not!). And, she seems LESS at ease in America than Tarzan!! Now considering that she had an American father, you'd think she'd have SOME civility, manners and subtlety. Instead, she is a curious THING for the audience's amusement. So, while the MGM folks might have thought the film was progressive in the treatment of race (after all, having a romance between a White guy and half-Polynesian was pretty racy for 1931), it comes off as patronizing and dumb. What should he do with this dopey savage girl? Eventually, Howard FINALLY realizes that Tamea is one hot tomato and he does what any man would do in this situation--he gives up his career, moves to the South Pacific with her and becomes a beach bum! What's next? Who cares?! It's all just a silly mess.

As for Miss Montenegro, I felt a bit sorry for her in this film. I assume most of her lousy performance was because of the script and direction. How could ANYONE do this part well?! But somehow Leslie Howard came from this film unscathed--and when folks think of him today, they tend to remember him fondly for his role in "Gone With the Wind"--not this film turkey.