- Title Card: Bachelor apartment of the Boy. He popped so many champagne corks last night the neighbors thought he had opened a shooting gallery.
- Title Card: The Boy. His wedding day. Last night was the first, last and only chance of his whole life for the big "souse". He is dreaming of green Giraffes with red-white - and blue legs.
- Title Card: His Sweetheart. He wouldn't give the horns off a buffalo nickel for all the other girls in the whole world.
- Title Card: The pirate ship. The Boy will be as happy and carefree here as a one-legged man tied to a ball and chain.
- Undetermined Secondary Role: Walk the plank!
- The Boy: [Walks out, looks down at water, walks back toward ship.] I don't believe it's safe.
- The Boy: [to dog in life preserver in the water.] Be a sport. I'll trade you this swordfish for the life preserver.