Things Like This

I'd like to first start off by stating that I am an obese gay man, married to a wonderful man, who I'd define as attractive by societal standards. I am happy and confident, both in myself and in my marriage. So after seeing so many hateful comments online about how "things like this would never happen in real life" (ironic, since this line is in the film and also part of the title), but were referring to that a "hot" guy would never be attracted to a fat guy, I felt compelled to go support this film. So my husband and I, and a group of friends bought tickets for the film.

It's important to first inform you that the lead role of the heavy set gay man, is performed by Max Talisman, who also wrote and directed the film. I preface this because for those of you who remember the film The Room, which was written by, directed by and starred Tommy Wiseau, I was constantly reminded of this during the viewing. Yes, the script was baffling, the jokes were cringe, and many of the performances, mostly by Talisman, were laughable. And Talisman's lead character was not only painful to watch on screen due to his shrill voice and high school theatre level acting skills, but he was also confusing to watch because he was written as a very unlikeable person, who is downright nasty to both his friends and strangers. And that's where I'd like to turn your attention to what comes across as unwarranted narcissism from Talisman the director, to which bleeds into the plot and the protagonist. Talisman's main character is unlikeable, rude, and awkward. He does nothing to deserve anyone's affection, and yet at one point in the movie, his love interests calls him charming. I couldn't see it. But the red carpet seems to roll out for Talisman's character throughout this cringe fest of cliche romance movie tropes that we've all seen a million times, and ultimately leads to, I'm not kidding you, a music number... Performed by... Wait for it... MAX TALISMAN. And his performance was equivalent to your drunk friend on karaoke night. The jokes, the cliches, the awkward exchanges, they all resulted in what could only feel like an undeserved narcissistic brag by Talisman, who wanted to show everyone that he could get love, the cute guy, and a musical number. This once again reflects back on Tommy Wiseau, who's narcissism pushed him to create a film, because he believed he could have it all, regardless of whether he earned any of these achievements.

I wanted to support an LGBT movie that was body positive, but this was not it. The fact that Talisman's character kept his shirt on during a love scene, while his "hot" love interest was shirtless only supports my argument that Talisman's supposed confidence in the film is a false narrative. Strangely enough, they also make subtle references to Talismans character having an eating disorder, but then never address it again. There were many unexplained odd moments in this film like this, again reminding me of The Room (if you remember the scenes with the strange flower shop owner, or the mother addressing her cancer and then never referencing it again, this film had similar moments).

I do want to give credit where it's due. Joey Pollari stands out in this film as acting well beyond the shallow script he had to work with. His performance may have just made watching this film survivable.

I'd like to end this review by hoping that this film actually gets more attention, because I believe it has the potential for being a cult classic due to how bad it is. We all laughed throughout the entire film, it even brought me to tears. And in the words of one of the 'best friend' characters: "This is not a dollar store romance novel".... Oh honey, it's on the discount rack.

Gay romantic comedies are a relatively new movie genre, and they're still finding their footing, with some doing the job better than others. On balance, they're steadily improving for the most part, but some offerings still need work. Such is the case with the debut feature from actor-writer-director Max Talisman, a film that definitely has aspects in its favor but others that could use some tweaking. In a nutshell, this romantic comedy tells the story of two men named Zack, one lovelorn (Talisman) and the other trapped in an unsatisfying relationship (Joey Pollari), who meet and fall for one another. However, their romance follows a well-worn, underwhelming, occasionally sappy romcom narrative formula that's anything but original (regardless of the sexual orientation of the romantic leads involved). What's more, the plotline is peppered with more than a few stereotypical characters and scenarios, elements that, frankly, feel a little stale and somewhat lazily constructed. On top of this, the performances of many of the cast members (especially among the supporting players) come across as too animated or too forced to be taken seriously, both in their over-the-top, almost cartoonish portrayals and in the sometimes-exaggerated dialogue they're asked to deliver. At the same time, though, the film also incorporates a plethora of hilarious, highly original, truly inspired one-liners that conjure up colorful images leaving viewers wondering, "How did they ever come up with that idea!" And, despite the screenplay's all-too-frequent reliance on the aforementioned stereotypes, the picture includes many imaginative and genuinely funny gay-themed moments that pop up seemingly out of nowhere, evoking big laughs at times when least expected. It's also heartening to see a gay release that makes use of "real" characters in its story (i.e., a plus-sized male protagonist (Talisman) who becomes involved in an entirely believable relationship with an average Joe (Pollari) and does so without going out of its way to draw attention to the fact that it features an atypical couple for a gay film, one that doesn't default to employing buffed gym bunnies in the lead roles). So where does this mixed bag of attributes leave audiences? For my money, I felt like I was watching a filmed version of the first draft of a movie, one that definitely had potential but that needed refinement in its writing, acting, character development and overall story arc. However, as with releases in any new cinematic genre that's still coming into its own, there are going to be bumps along the road, and "Things Like This" is no exception. The same can be said for the work of a first-time filmmaker who's still in search of finding his directorial legs. On both counts, though, there's certainly promise to be had here, even if there's still ample room for improvement to get things to where they ought to be.

Look, I like a gay rom-com featuring a plus-size guy in the lead as much as anyone, but why, oh, why does that character have to be so annoying?

What's even more annoying than the character is the fact that the guy who plays him also wrote and directed the movie. I guess if you're gonna write a movie to star yourself, it might as well be a fantasy in which you land the hot guy no matter how much of a loser you are.

Writer-director-actor Max Talisman plays Zach, who after being dumped by one hottie, immediately meets-cute with another (well as cute as ordering and downing a drink you know you can't pay for can be) - coincidentally also named Zach (Joey Pollari) - and, despite many complications, ends landing him after serenading him at his sister's high school prom.

Don't ask.

While the script has a few nice moments, and some veteran actors have a few nice moments, too (Eric Roberts, Barbara Barrie), it's tough to get past the protagonist being a wastrel/jerk.

It's not that wastrels don't deserve to find love (I still hope to some day), it's just that I don't need to sit in a theater and watch it.

Neither do you.

It's a bummer...this had a lot of the right pieces to be really special.

I feel like I spent the whole movie thinking it was one step away from being good. It was repeatedly close. Started out fine and just went downhill. Felt like it filmed the first draft. Decent production quality but wow did it need a second draft. Or at least another one. And a different director. Ouch. Not everyone should direct their own script. Someone else needs to push the actors to unexpected places...or sometimes rein them in. Create a world and a tone. This didn't manage either.

Will be interesting to see if he's able to make another film.

I wanted to love this movie - I can't say I loved it, but I did like it. It would've made a great Netflix movie Such a good opportunity missed. This could have been great, but it felt unbelievable the characters were great but like stated before it was a bit less realistic and believable. I felt the two leads were very believable - for Joey Zack that comes from his A+ acting, for the other Zack I feel it was probably because his character was based on himself more or less and he was a little annoying 😩. In scenes together it was clear that there were two very different levels of acting going on. Nonetheless, I still enjoyed the movie.