Evelyn

This show for families in agony of death is a PERFECT 10. I am not even reading the other reviews in fear one could upset me. I usually feel that hard stabbing critics usually don't have pumping hearts anyway. They are usually robot hearts, made of steel. Without feelings. Or "way out there" and can't relate to normal humans. The love, fear, pits in stomachs, don't talk about it, it won't exist, just saying the name is so real. There were so many aspects of this film, anyone in death crisis can relate to. I truly thank you from the top, the middle and bottom of my broken heart for this film. It sure helped me.

It's a heavy account of how one death can lead to a domino of fractures within a family, and how they try to come to terms with it. It can serve as a reference for those living in a society in which people hesitate to confront and express their emotions.

All good.. but oh boy, their father, Andreas, is a classic case of a narcissistic, patriarchal SWM. It's like a masterclass of how to turn everything into being about himself. From the get-go, he condescendingly categorizes which of his children ressembles which parent (no surprise which he thinks is superior). Then, he threw a fit at a restaurant about insignificant things (hence drawing attention to himself). Shortly after that, he claimed that according to a doctor in Germany, his son wouldn't have killed himself had he been placed under their care there, then attempted to clarify that he didn't believe it'd make a difference (ok, then why stirred the already messed up pot like that?). He also asserted that he's not trying to blame anyone, but kind of subtly hinted that his daughter should've looked around the house when his brother was't found in the house. When his other son was being emotionally vulnerable with a stranger, he said: "Brilliant, I wouldn't have done that" (the majestic "I" is peppered throughout everything that he said, and you don't really feel like it's a complement, more like an unsolicited judgment). And even after all these, he demanded that his children show him respect.

The film tells the story of the director's younger brother, who suffered from schizophrenia and committed suicide years earlier. It follows his family as they, after years of not talking about it, resolve to open up and let their dead loved one back into their lives. They do this while camping and hiking through various beautiful parts of the British countryside.

There's a lot here most people will be able to identify with. How we refuse to talk about difficult subjects, when really talking's what we need most. How difficult death and grief are to deal with. And also how blame and guilt can linger after a person's suicide, however unwarranted those emotions may be.

I found some of the film difficult to watch, purely because it's such a real, personal story. And also because the family in question is so genuinely lovely that I just didn't want to see them in pain. But ultimately the film is heart-warming as well as sad. I would recommend watching it to anyone who's struggling to cope with the suicide of someone they love.

I happened upon this as a Netflix suggestion and oh my gosh, I was gripped from the start. Mental illness and suicide are never easy subjects to discuss, let alone invite the world into your pain. This film was real and tender and intensely gracious in its message of profound grief and deeply felt loss within a family. Powerful reminder of how our lives touch others.

This was an amazingly raw film. I am glad it showed the family's reactions rather than the schizophrenia their brother experienced. I am feeling overwhelmed.