Lake Artifact

I do like scenes nowadays where people are walking along train tracks all in bloody clothes. Reminds me of mid-series Walking Dead episodes where the train tracks were all so relevant to the story. But that's how this opens....

And then I suppose we regress, backwards in the story.......

-1 Star for the dumb beer drinking 'dance' scene...what lame music was that anyway??? Derrr............

What was with the weird water bottle drinkage? I've never seen a human drink a bottle of water like that.

Okay so when they find a picture of the group of them that they had not taken YET, is when the hilarity begins.........

-1 Star when the 2 idiots go outside to LOOK for 'the guy' Huh? Poor acting, poor dialogue. Poor story choices......

Then the story gets bizarre, dreams, walking in circles..... lots of confusion. And one female character goes off the rails really for no apparent reason.....

This whole place is a loop TOMMY!!!!!!

+1 Star for when Black dude screams like a girl lol I think the hilarity that was the last few minutes of the movie saves it from the toilet bowl really.

If ever there was a case for why a man wandering thru the woods should always carry a case of BEER with him, this is it.

4/10

30 minutes. That's when the film actually starts, and when it does, it's a mess and feels very much like a live-action Scooby-Doo episode. The plot is set around a cabin/plot of land where time is in a constant loop and everything that can is and ha's happened, that make sense? Sort of? Yeah well so does this film. The concept itself is nothing new as there are lots of versions of this type of story out there.

I can't help but feel as though this film tries to come across smarter than it actually is and that the writers had an idea for an ending of the film and kind of wrote backwards from there with no real direction. I get the concept, I understand who is who and what is going on so PLEASE stop explaining everything to me several times.

Plot holes; It's all one big plot hole really. The 'connecting of dots' to unravel the great mysteries and the 'big reveals' either make NO SENSE and are seemingly thrown in there for reasons I can only imagine were thought up by the creators breathing in their own farts, OR they were painfully obvious ages before it was explained.

Characters motivations; Aren't any. Seriously, The only person who made any sense was Timmy and even he had zero development. Everybody else has moments that set up a sub plot or story arch that go no-where and just leave you scratching your head on confusion (looking at you especially Megan)

And finally, I honestly could not tell if this film was attempting to be a comedy half of the time, a large portion of the acting and dialogue actually gave me a real belly-laugh because of how silly and satirical it came across.

Having said that, I've just ordered a McDonald's from Uber Eats, so it's not all bad.

Ok so gather up some friends and make popcorn and get a bottle of quality whiskey. Every time someone says "You want a beer?" take a shot. If you are at the pro level you can take an additional shot every time the editor drops in that ridiculously loud can opening sound (thankfully we are spared the follow-on loud swirly pouring into a glass). When you can't take it anymore - which won't be long - switch over to Triangle and watch a real movie.

Well to say this is utterly nonsensical would be an understatement! I can imagine the confusion from the filmmakers at the meetings with cast and crew having to constantly explain what number loop they are in on any particular day ! The ending, well what can I say, by this stage the viewer would have a brain ache and be on the gin !

Watched this on a complete whim from Tubi, not expecting much. But time paradox/manipulation movies have always been a niche of mine.

The songs used are few and far between, but used to great effect (if you're into that style, granted.) 20 mins in and we've met our cast, some drunken college times have been had, and things are set to take a turn for the strange.

I wont get into details, but felt by the end most of my questions had been answered. The movie contains some elements of other time Paradox notables (Coherence, Triangle, and a dash of Time Crimes), not that I'd view this as a bad thing. And it finds it's own sort of take on it all by the end.

The movie made incredible work of what I imagine is low to no budget. And for what I assume is a cast of unknowns (think I recognized one), I felt they worked adequately, and if anything their less known status made them seem more "real" and authentic (IMO).

I try to limit reviews lately, I am no "professional critic" nor pretend to be, but felt compelled to say those into films like COHERENCE and TRIANGLE may, I hope, enjoy this and entertain adding it to the still rather niche realm of time Paradox movies

7/10 for me, rises above neutral/lukewarm (5) and slight positive (6).