Scarecrow's Revenge

I can forgive having vikings with accents from multiple countries. I can even forgive the countless historical inaccuracies. I don't even mind that all the swords had round ends. But I can't forgive the terrible writing, acting and action. The fight scenes were the worst I have ever seen. I also can't overlook that they couldn't even come close to matching the color of blood. Did I mention at one point you can see an airplane trail in the sky? The costumes and dialogue were so inaccurate that I would have never even guessed that they were vikings. Luckily, they mention that they are vikings every 30 seconds. And they are not savages. I gave it 2 stars because sadly, I have seen worse. I definitely wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone.

Growing up in a rural farming community, it doesn't take much to understand why I am drawn to Scarecrow Horror even though it's rarely even half as good as the 80s TV horror film with Larry Drake (Dark Night of the Scarecrow) it isn't even on par with horror-action-hybrid Scarecrows from 1988, hell you'd be better off watching Jeff Burr's Night of the Scarecrow or the heartfelt ode to a lost sibling in Mark Polonia's HalloweeNight but here I am, logging Bride of Scarecrow from UK's female "Charlie Band" filmmaker Louisa Warren who has a string of films about Scarecrows, Leprechauns and tooth fairies which as I type it...that sounds great! But the movies are....not great!

Living on a remote plain, a group of Vikings finds the heathen among them trying to stir up trouble with their clan and decide to expel him in a trapped scarecrow as punishment, but when he makes a deal with a witch to continue his killing inside the scarecrow they must find a way to stop him.

This was an overall serviceable if flawed feature overall. Among its better qualities is the central setup that provides a fine excuse for everything within here to take place. Not only quickly establishing the way of life within the village as the group hunts down the disgraced member of the village attempting to rape and pillage the chief's daughter but setting him out on a trek to seek vengeance with the banishment taking place leading to the group going through the process of removing him from their community, this gets a lot out rather quickly. Detailing the need for revenge against them for their rightful attack on the outside member of the group by taking on the form of a cursed scarecrow that haunts the village, this all gives everything the kind of simplistic formula to work with as a means of getting the rampage started. That is the other fun point here in that there's some fun to be had with the idea of the killer scarecrow going around knocking off the villagers in the woods. After the ceremony to transform his soul into the scarecrow and become the killing machine at the heart of the film, this turns into a plotless yet endearing series of encounters with the villagers being knocked off by the creature in some decent enough setpieces. Whether it be the regular villagers in the woods wandering around or the weapons-filled combat with the Viking fighters that are being taken down in some fun moments allowing the scarecrow the chance to utilize some fun ambushes around the forested parts of the woods leading to the final confrontation which employs a great touch about fulfilling destiny and the bounds of witchcraft to finally defeat him. These all manage to bring about some likable features in here although there are some big issues keeping this one down. The main detriment to this one is the excessive running time that manages to go longer than it needs to with egregious inserts and additional moments that it doesn't need. With extra scenes during the stalking scenes showing victims standing around waiting for the killer to strike them, useless moments wandering around for nothing to happen, or an especially useless sequence where a person stands around for twenty seconds with the killer standing behind them doing nothing only for the killer to still miss, it all leads to an immensely obvious running time that could've been trimmed down. On top of that, it's way too cheap and flimsy for its good, with obvious anachronistic tendencies, lousy choreography, low-key effects-work, and general production vibes that give away its origins pretty easily, being the main factors that brought this down.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language and Violence.

In 804 AD men did not have wrist watch tan lines and clothing labels flopping about the neck of their Pier One tunics. Also, chrome hadn't been invented yet much less wired telephone poles. Don't even get me started on the cars you can see through the trees and the constant thrum of traffic just yards away.

First off I gave it 1-Star, come IMDb start putting minus stars on these things. I read in one review where it was watch for 10 mins, REALLY DUDE! Ten while minutes to know this is bad, Let me tell you what I found bad about Scarecrow's Revenge ... EVERY DAMN THING! The actors must have worn the casting couch out to get money to make this garbage.

What's with film makers who keep using the old tired events in movies, like a person is being chased by a killer, a creature, bad guys, they run 20 feet and fall down and look behind them as if waiting on their close up, and trotting through a scene is not running. Gawd if you fall while being chase, your dumb ass need to be killed. Or in most movies someone suffers with Asthma, Gawd when will it ever stop, this is just a couple of rants about movies and the lame morons and nimrod in Hollywood who keep rehashing old tired scenes in movies. As for this one ... IT'S BAD FROM START TO FINISH! They couldn't even figure out how to hang a Scarecrow from a cross post in a cornfield. He or it was standing on the ground with his arm(s) draped over the post. Just sad.

Come on IMDb, adjust your ratings to include negative ratings, One Star isn't low enough for this turkey, and I apologize to all the turkeys, I may has insulted by the comparison.