Eden

I'm sorry. Maybe I didn't have the right level of expectations. Maybe there's something unspeakably obvious to others that I'm missing. Maybe this just isn't for me. I'm sure the folks behind 'Eden' worked hard on it. With the awards it's apparently garnered, there's an audience for this out there.

Yet the nearest I can come to praise is to say there was a fragment of an idea here.

Lines are the opposite of clever, and delivered with the artificial forcefulness that comes from speaking while heavily chewing scenery. Visuals and effects are so jarringly stark, glaring before our eyes, that we may as well be watching this on the editing software used to create them. I suppose it's a novel approach, realizing the computer interface of an interstellar vessel with the same childlike, 1-2-3, easy to read design of menus in videogames - but "novel" doesn't mean "original," "good," or "engaging for the audience."

Even if I described the events of this short shot by shot, I can't rightly say there's a plot to be spoiled. The basic premise of 'Eden,' as noted on any site where you might read one, gives nearly as much detail as there is in the whole narrative. What those vague synopses lack, the story does not impart further.

What is going on here?

I wouldn't be opposed to watching other features from the folks involved behind 'Eden'; I don't want to hold this one mark against them. We all make mistakes.

Unfortunately, I think watching this short film was mine.

This short won 6 awards. Izzat it? I think they missed an award - The Shortest McGuffin Award for a 2-frame blip ending of a McGuffin that mimicked a line from a few minutes earlier. No offense but this short was awful. However I loved the opening music and the opening sets aboard the star ship were very interesting and the outer space shots were fun as I am always intrigued and happy when I can see a bunch of red and orange gas balls all over the Universe. The story was sophomoric as well as something that only a gamer could love. Ooops! Wuzzat it? The gamer thing? Sigh. And that bizarre obligatory shoot out. Howcumzit that there wasn't any other kind of obligatory item like a car chase or vomit scene or nekked girls or since it's a short a 5-frame love scene however there was one extremely obvious obligatory item that all new shorts and movies have to have these days. I can't mention it or I'll get boinked. Overall I'll give it a 2 because the beginning had a fun promise but the middle and end were pure _________ (you fill in the blank)