RoboWoman

Absolutely the worst movie ever made. Just horrible. It reminds me of home videos that fifth graders made with their buddies in the backyard. It is absolute garbage.

Ever wonder what it look like if your grandma escaped her nursing home, left her brain medication behind, and then got in involved with a sleazy film director? Well congratulations my friend, you now know the behind the scenes creation of robowoman. A movie shouldn't have a actor that is supposed to be playing a unstoppable and tough as nails cyborg , only to be worried during the whole movie that the character might fall and break a hip. But on top of that, I think the producers also had the main actor's friends from the nursing home also design and create all the costumes and practical effects.

OK, this has to be a first-year student film that got a C-. Extremely poor acting. Extremely poor camera work. Extremely poor lighting and audio. Ludicrous script.

Dawna Lee Heising has to be one of the most unwatchable people I've ever seen (even more-so than her costars). And whoever told her she could be an action star was lying. She can barely stand up when training her 'fighting' skills and visibly stumbles several times. Her punches are like my five year old grandson's.

Ms. Heising is in an extensive series of films exactly like this and I shudder to think people would choose to watch more after seeing one.

Finally, the cover art for this 'film' is like seeing a TV commercial for a thick delicious double cheeseburger only to get a smooshed unappetizing disappointing mess for the real thing. Don't be fooled into watching.

If you haven't watched this, don't.

If you have, go wash your eyes out. With soap.

Over 270 shots. More than 700 lines of dialogue. And something glaringly wrong with EVERY SINGLE ONE. What an achievement! A real-life 68-year-old former body model pretending to be a young action star. A real-life Homer Simpson pretending to be a sensei. A rubber glove pretending to be a robotic arm. You couldn't make this stuff up - but they did. And then filmed it in glorious VHS, with no mics (all the sound, including dialogue, is off the camera mic... like all the best home movies). Oh... and no lighting, either. Available light can work on a beach in daytime, but not so much in a park at night. Now that I think about it, that will be why halfway through the blackout the "director" decides to shine a flashlight on everyone. Martial arts learned from a radio show. Action sequences without action, or a legible sequence. And great lines like "You could take a self defence class" "No. I could." Or, "Yes, she was left, well, not only did she meet or exceed the expectations you set for her, yup." "She's fully functionable". Comedy gold. And the final fight scene? Words fail me. And the "actors" as well.

The $40 spent on casting, special effects and talent reallllllly show here LOL. Within 10 seconds I knew this was beyond a waste of time. It wouldn't have held up as a 60's driv-in theatre flic. I don't imagine any of the "actord" would want this crud on thier CV .....