Horndogs Beach Party

About the same thing a group of pre-school children could do - lots of completely useless video sequences, utterly ridiculous blabbering, and lots of really stupid noises.

Unless your name's Beavis or Butthead, give this steaming pile a VERY wide berth. There's not enough caustic soda in the known universe to wash the stench out of your senses.

This thing is mind numbingly boring and stupid. The best way I can describe it is that it gets you in excited anticipation for a commercial to come on. It is porn acting without the porn, with teeth-clenching acting that is somehow horrendous, disturbing, and boring. Truly a feat. If this was the only movie you'd ever seen in your entire life, it should be the best and worst movie you've ever seen, as there's no competition, and it would be the worst, but not the best. The segments known as "Movie Misery" feature a woman in a gimp suit with a whip wearing a choker calling the movie torture (which is why she wants you to watch it) are no better than the actual movie. These segments have awful acting along with a disembodied voice which I assume is supposed to be somewhat funny but is genuinely shiver-inducing cringeworthy.

Normally people would say to bad movies "Don't watch this movie unless..." But I would just say, don't watch this movie.

I had the misfortune of watching this movie with some friends, it's really really bad. From looking at the picture, title, and description I knew it was trash before watching it and I was absolutely correct. Don't waste your time or money, there are a lot of other 'bad' films that are better than this, if that's your thing. This movie was so bad that I kept thinking about how humanity could've done something- ANYTHING- else with the funding for this project and come out ahead in a multitude of ways. Like, we could just make a video of a lady in a bikini throwing that money into a bonfire and it would've done more for culture and art than this, certainly it would've been more entertaining for everyone and would've been closer to the truth about what was actually done with the funds SoCal paid to make this. At least we could feel good about life afterwards, not like the shame for the human race I felt after watching Horndogs Beach Party. This movie would've been greatly improved with the addition of brain eating zombies or a chain saw murderer. I felt sorry for everyone involved in it's making, like, incredible pity that they were so hungry this film was the best they could do to earn a living. I'm imagining these artists (actors, crew etc) have a dream to work in film, and this is what they had to do to get themselves to a place where they can actually create something someday that would be at the very least entertaining. That makes me incredibly sad.

I tried with this flick, but the only thing that kept me awake was hitting the "10 seconds forward" on my screen.

Sadly, a shocker.