Ich war zuhause, aber

Saw this at the Berlinale 2019, where it was part of the official Competition. The Jury awarded a Silver Bear for Best Director (Angela Schaneler). Not my idea, as this movie was a WTF experience for me. I did not walk out as something happened all the time and I was hoping for a desperately needed binding conclusion where it was all about, alas to no avail. The synopsis was promising, but the story actually went nowhere.

The threesome animals (donkey, dog and hare) we see in the beginning, suggesting life on and around a farm, returned in the end, without having any connection (as far as I could see) with what happened in the rest of the movie. No clue whether it is relevant or not.

All of the core story is located in Berlin, far away from the country side. I also noticed, especially in the first quarter, a lot of semi-still scenes, like a cartoon where someone says something significant, after which the scene jumps to a subsequent scene with a new meaningful sentence spoken.

There are a few longer scenes, all centering around the mother. Among others, we see her buying a second-hand bike, having a long monologue towards a stage director she meets at the supermarket, delivering unsolicited advice towards the teachers at Philip's school, returning the bike to its previous owner due to some malfunctions (wasting a lot of running time), and much more such scenes without any obvious useful purpose.

Peculiarly, contrary to the gist of the announcement on the Berlinale website, not Philip was apparently the center of the story but rather his mother with her unpredictable behavior. She seems to hide a lot of rage underneath, bursting out at random moments, like when her daughter has used the stove to prepare something to eat, followed by a heated discussion and even throwing both her children out, who can do nothing else than wait on the street until she cools down. This is not motherly behavior in any way, though her children embrace her even after being pushed away, so I assume this sort of scenes happened more often before.

One reviewer wrote that there was boe-ing ànd applause at the end of this movie's premiere yesterday. I'm glad that I'm not alone in loosing track of this movie and its theme (if any). It is also interesting to see that professional critics score very differently (average 7) from "normal" viewers like myself (average 4.4). I don't know what to write about this movie, other than the above. It is very difficult to write a consistent discourse about this movie.

The winner of the Silver Bear for Best Director at the Berlin Film Festival is a realistic, strange and ultimately extremely compelling piece of Arthouse cinema. Director Angela Schanelec stages a group of really talented actors and actresses in a strange and complex storyline about love, family and responsibilities. There are many meta aspects to this picture with many scenes indirectly referencing the fact that audiences are simply watching the illusion of characters portrayed by actors in a made up story. There is one particular scene involving two characters socialising about art that was so well written and acted, the entire audience clapped. When a young boy disappears without a trace for a week. Until he suddenly reappears again. From what follows is one of the strangest and challenging films I have ever seen. What was difficult to comprehend wasn't a convoluted plot or images that need to be analysed in order to be understood (this was not a David Lynch experience). Most of the scenes made sense, and the characters made sense. The story was just simple, a family having to go through troubles that we all face everyday. There are moments of love and compassion, but also moments of frustration and anger. Sometimes characters make decisions that seem out of place because no character is written to be a particular way. People are complicated and sometimes act out irrationally. This is what make I Was at Home, But such a compelling drama. It is a study about how we as humans interact and treat one another, how real are the emotions we feel for each other? Do we love or hate a certain person? Not a watch for everyone, definitely for fans of arthouse and social dissection films. However anyone looking for a more conventional family drama may leave disappointed as many plot points get lost or solved quickly.

No story what so ever, random scenes without connection or sense. A viewer is trying to find some sense while watching long, empty scenes. It seems that the movie was made to make people feel stupid for not getting it.

The last shot of the film summarises the two ways the spectator may feel by the end of this film. Either you will be sleeping as the dog, or clueless as the dunkey. The only thing that is worthy are the beautiful shots and images.

No surprise, this art-house masterpiece is about love and loss, about the dream-like surreal world you find yourself in after losing a loved one. Is our 'reality' more real than a dream? Is it more real than its reflection - in drama, dance, painting, sculpture, music, on a windowpane? Love and loss are always with us, no matter the age, no matter the epoch. Recommend to watch more than once.