Ich war zuhause, aber

As a fan who has thoroughly enjoyed Angela Schanelec's works, I was somewhat disappointed after watching this film. There's no point in elaborating why, since many of the other reviewers have already done so here. Though visually and artistically well executed, as is the case with all her films, I walked away from this one with a feeling of unjustified vagueness. Yes, I agree with the Michael Haneke approach of placing the final onus of judgement or opinion in the minds of the audience, but I also believe the audience must at least have a cohesive story on which to base such a position.

This was one of the most boring movies I've ever seen. It is indeed waste of time for all. This kind of art is nothing. There must be a rationale, a purpose for the film making.

The title might make you think of Ozu's masterly tale of childhood "I Was Born, But...", however German director Angela Schanelec's "I Was At Home, But..." is an altogether more challenging affair, typical of the woman who made "The Dreamed Path". It's also a film about childhood, or at least a film with a child as one of its principal protagonists, but this rigorous and admittedly difficult film totally belies any cosiness or sense of closure, turning its attention instead, not so much on the child, but on a distraught mother who appears to be having some sort of breakdown.

Something, perhaps terrible, has happened to the child in question but Schanelec doesn't feel the need to explain it or even to explain the subsequent actions of anyone involved. We seem to have been dropped into the middle of something we don't understand and are left to work things out for ourselves. This is what life is like, she is telling us, not what we usually see when we go to the movies. With only a few films to her credit she is an already established auteur as well as one of cinema's great female directors and her work demands to be seen; just don't expect the obvious or even to be entertained but if you are prepared to enter into her world you will be amply rewarded.

Saw this at the Berlinale 2019, where it was part of the official Competition. The Jury awarded a Silver Bear for Best Director (Angela Schaneler). Not my idea, as this movie was a WTF experience for me. I did not walk out as something happened all the time and I was hoping for a desperately needed binding conclusion where it was all about, alas to no avail. The synopsis was promising, but the story actually went nowhere.

The threesome animals (donkey, dog and hare) we see in the beginning, suggesting life on and around a farm, returned in the end, without having any connection (as far as I could see) with what happened in the rest of the movie. No clue whether it is relevant or not.

All of the core story is located in Berlin, far away from the country side. I also noticed, especially in the first quarter, a lot of semi-still scenes, like a cartoon where someone says something significant, after which the scene jumps to a subsequent scene with a new meaningful sentence spoken.

There are a few longer scenes, all centering around the mother. Among others, we see her buying a second-hand bike, having a long monologue towards a stage director she meets at the supermarket, delivering unsolicited advice towards the teachers at Philip's school, returning the bike to its previous owner due to some malfunctions (wasting a lot of running time), and much more such scenes without any obvious useful purpose.

Peculiarly, contrary to the gist of the announcement on the Berlinale website, not Philip was apparently the center of the story but rather his mother with her unpredictable behavior. She seems to hide a lot of rage underneath, bursting out at random moments, like when her daughter has used the stove to prepare something to eat, followed by a heated discussion and even throwing both her children out, who can do nothing else than wait on the street until she cools down. This is not motherly behavior in any way, though her children embrace her even after being pushed away, so I assume this sort of scenes happened more often before.

One reviewer wrote that there was boe-ing ànd applause at the end of this movie's premiere yesterday. I'm glad that I'm not alone in loosing track of this movie and its theme (if any). It is also interesting to see that professional critics score very differently (average 7) from "normal" viewers like myself (average 4.4). I don't know what to write about this movie, other than the above. It is very difficult to write a consistent discourse about this movie.

The last shot of the film summarises the two ways the spectator may feel by the end of this film. Either you will be sleeping as the dog, or clueless as the dunkey. The only thing that is worthy are the beautiful shots and images.