Gothic Harvest

Wtf did I just watch? And wtf are Bill Moseley and Lin Shaye doing in it? Were they blackmailed into doing it? Boring...non-sensical....bad acting....I honestly can't think of anything positive to say about it.....you've been warned....

There are movies that are terrible. Then, there are movies that are so bad that they are worth watching again for entertainment value. Finally, there are movies that are so dreadful that they cannot even be enjoyed for unintentional comedic value anymore. Gothic Harvest fits into the latter category. The movie revolves a group of friends who celebrate Mardi Gras in New Orleans. One of the ladies gets seduced by a charming young man but doesn't contact her friends again. They believe that something might have happened to her and start investigating.

This movie disappoints on numerous levels. First of all, the story is bland and predictable. It doesn't include any surprises or twists. A horror movie should be tense and keep you on the edge of your seat but this film might rather make you yawn and fall asleep before it has ended.

Up next, the acting performances are wooden and forgettable. It's tough to empathize with the characters since they are all rather annoying than sympathetic. This movie is promoted with the participation of veteran actress Lin Shaye but she keeps being typecast since the success of the Insidious franchise. Her performance is lifeless and she should do herself a favour and stay away from any horror movies for a few years to avoid being typecast into terrible low-budget productions.

Finally, this movie isn't even remotely scary. There are a few weak attempts at jump scares and the movie offers a few bloody scenes but those elements feel half-hearted and uninspired. Even an amateurish film school project would be executed with more intellect and passion.

At the end of the day, Gothic Harvest is really as terrible as its negative reputation indicates. It disappoints with a boring plot, lifeless acting performances and a lack of scary scenes. This movie isn't worth your time as even fans of bad movies for their unintentional comedic value won't find anything remotely interesting here.

I'm pretty impressed that they got Bill Mosley and Lin Shaye on this movie, and somehow still managed to make a total flop. Flat story line with lots of cliches and bad acting. Kind of skirted the edge of camp/ "so bad it's good" territory, but just didn't quite make it there. It feels like someone really liked "house of 1000 corpses," and regurgitated a made-for Nickelodeon, strangely voodoo-infused, all-in-the-family knock off. It took a while to adjust to Bill Mosley as the character he played, but thank god he was there. He was the only thing that made the movie even remotely bearable. Unless you're super duper bored do yourself a favor and cross it off your list.

Wow, was this movie annoying or what. It genuinely felt that every single step the script takes is in order to annoy the viewer even more. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a huge horror fan, and whenever I review one I take in consideration the year, the budget, the subject and so on, thus do believe me when I tell you Gothic Harvest is nothing more than a skip, skip, skip!

Nothing intriguing about it, nothing new, absolutely all the clichées one would expect from such a production, you will find here. It truly was hard to watch it, all the way through, but with a lot of patience and some alcohol, I did manage to do just that. Did I find it somewhat entertaining? Definitely not, not enough alcohol and not enough boredom for that to happen.

Sadly to say, this is an absolute pass of a horror movie. It is weak from start to finish. You have been warned!

Cheers!

Wow! Was this a piece of crap! Worst acting I've seen in a long time. And supposedly a couple of "big stars" participated. They ate stars no more! Waste of time!