Geo-Disaster

This movie was so bad, it doesn't even warrant a review. However, I feel compelled to issue a warning. Seriously, it's bad and not bad in a way that may result in a cult classic but rather, bad in a way that you want to sue those responsible for wasting your time and money.

Bad acting, worse scripts, poor camera work, ridiculous special effects, and atrocious science (or anti-science).

Sorry, I have nothing to really say about the scenes except to say that within the first ten minutes, you will understand why I gave this a 1 rating. If your time is precious, stop after ten minutes because it doesn't improve.

There was absolutely no talent involved in the making of this movie. Even the title is stupid.

I'm giving this a wary 4 stars... rather than a typical 2 or 3 an Asylum film would ordinarily garner.

On the one hand, for an Asylum film it's not half bad. Which means it's not half good. The whole film (without spoilers) can be summed up as:

1) Something bad happens that puts the entire earth in danger 2) A couple or three local bad things happen that endanger a family and their friends 3) Nothing much else bad happens, evidently earth-wide. Birds are chirping, the catfish are jumping, let's go play some baseball.

In short, disappointing and VERY anti-climactic. The one overwhelming sensation I got from this film was surprise when the end credits started rolling. What, seriously, that was it?

I reserve 1-3 for BAD films... and this wasn't a "bad" film per se, just not very memorable. It doesn't make any point. It achieves little other than "family is important". It's like a "bad day in my life" flick... which is about all that this encompasses... one single day. One would think world-wide cataclysmic events would entail more than a single day of localized disaster. I guess the special effects team ran out of miniature volcanoes and tidal wave tubs.

It's better than most Asylum films... which is still below standard cinema standards. One just has to wonder: Is Asylum even capable of writing an actual script? Or do they just send actors out into an area with a camera crew, an on-the-scene idea-man, tell them all to wing it and then handle all the rest in the editing room? Wait, I think I just answered my own question.

"Geo-Disaster" is one of those movies so lame that becomes funny. The writer / director Thunder Levin does not have any sense of proportion and weight. For example, the gorgeous Natalie Pelletier´s leg is trapped by a beam in the staircase. Where a rectangular block beam like that would be used in a building? The weight would be at least 2 t, but the girls use a small bar to release her. Further, she does not have any injury and is capable to run. Matthew Pohlkamp is looking for an alternative route in a map with his son and the geologist while a car is slowly passing by them on a road. The girls escape from LA in motorcycles but the traffic jam is on both sides (out / into LA). They leave the motorcycles to run uphill through a road with tire tracks. The old man with crutch climbs the ladder to the roof of the store when the girls is looking for a signal in a neighborhood with parked cars when every now and then have a car passing by. The proportion of the waves is something very ridiculous. The landscape of Los Angeles shows a beautiful city in a sunny day. In addition, the special effects are one of the worst ever seen. My vote is two.

Title (Brazil): "Geo-Disaster"

This movie is so bad I'm breaking my lifelong rule of never reviewing a movie just to review this movie!

If I could have given it a negative star rating, I would have.

I can't even begin to describe how awful it is to watch. I managed 23 minutes of the most painful, eye-wateringly bad acting I have ever seen and that includes pre-schooler nativity plays.

Unless you're marooned on an island with only this movie for entertainment, or you're really, truly, absolutely, bored shitless, this is not a movie for watching - it's a movie to putting down and avoiding.

Which says IMDB rating = 4.8

This is a -4.8

We love movies where California gets trashed however the writers, directors and actors in thus Turkey deserve relegation to the fissures in the ground.