Love Machine

There isn't much of a movie here. It's yet another vanity project by a man who has compared himself to the likes of Spielberg, Kubrick and Godard without ever producing anything that approaches those three in terms of quality.

It's not a particularly clever story (as much as there is one to begin with), it's not particularly interestingly shot, it doesn't seem to have much of a message to tell. There's just nothing here beyond a balding middle-aged director yelling "Hey! Look at how great I am!" for 80 minutes straight., and pretending that's somehow deep and controversial.

But hey, the girls are pretty. That's something, I guess.

The problem is neither the wanting acting, schizophrenic cinematography, exorbitant overuse of sexual imagery, nor the writer/director/actor's grossly inflated self-admiration; it is that collectively, there is maybe 10 minutes of anything remotely coherent to a story being told.

Gruesome! And because the site doesn't let me submit a review containing just 1 word, even though "gruesome" was all that came to mind, I'll add AWFUL! Just awful!