What They Had

This film tells the story of a family struggling to cope with the impact of dementia.

The poster makes me think it's a romantic comedy, but it is almost the polar opposite of that. It is quite a sad story because it tells a heart wrenching story. The portrayal of dementia is brutally realistic. It is sad to watch, and it will touch many viewers for sure.

The Universe brought me this film on a flight from San Diego to Dallas on my way to visit my 90+ year old parents downstate Illinois. My Mother had been in the hospital, and my Dad requested my assistance. What a blessing to bring my Mother home the next day. She suffers from dementia. They too live in the same house and it is the issue for my Dad and brother who lives in town and usually cares for them. Superb acting from all, as expected. Chicago in winter spectacular. I was lucky. I needed this now, as would anyone in the similar situation.

Having lived this life with my Mother, it hits close to home. My Mother was diagnosed with dementia back in 2008. This movie brings it all back. My Father was relatively healthy up till the end in 2010. My Mother on the other hand became lost in her own thoughts. Not knowing us kids and I would love to think she still recognized my Father. My Mother passed in November of 2010 and my Father in June of 2010. I remember my Dad saying that once my Mom went into the dementia/alzheimer care ward, he felt like it was as lonely as when he was in the Navy back during WWII. He never recovered and died broken hearted. This movie hits home. You can try to hold out. You can try to care for your loved one but, once the veil cover the mind, it's just sad beyond words. I talked more at my Mothers funeral than I could while she was alive. The disease just drains the individual and caretakers and devastates the loving people around them. Very sad movie. Having lived this it does strike a nerve and a lot more. I think the only take away is this, love the people around you and don't let go no matter how hard it gets.

Terrific all-star cast here and a remarkable directorial and writing debut for Elizabeth Chomko. Difficult to watch at times, as the movie depicts the devastating effects of dementia, not only for the person affected but for their families as well.

The dialogue here is incredibly realistic, the characters completely believable, and the interplay between them works exceptionally well. Somehow, Chomko manages to get in some well placed humor along the way.

Overall, just a powerful and poignant drama and I might suggest keeping some tissues close by for the final 20 minutes of the film.

"What They Had" (2018 release; 98 min.) brings the story of a family dealing with Alzheimer's. As the movie opens, we see an older lady getting up in the middle of the night, getting dressed and leave the house while it's snowing hard. Some time later, her husband wakes up, and realizes that his wife Ruth, who has Alzheimer's, is gone. He calls his son Nicky to come help look. Nicky in turn calls his sister Bitty who lives in California. He asks her to come help with the situation, and Bitty along with her daughter Emma fly from California to Chicago. The next day Ruth is found, but it is clear this cannot go on. Or can it? At this point we're 10 min. into the movie but to tell you more of the plot would spoil your viewing experience, you'll just have to see for yourself how it all plays out.

Couple of comments: this is the writing and directing debut of actress Elizabeth Chomko (who does not appear in the movie). Yes, another movie dealing with Alzheimer's. As someone who has deal with this horrible disease up close (my dad deal with extreme Alzheimer's at the end of his life), I am more often than not surprised how "off" these movies are. Take Julianne Moore's "Still Alice" (for which she won a Best Actress Oscar no less): I thought it was a pretty weak movie. In contrast, I was surprised how "on" Chomko has it. The movie focuses more with the fallout onto the family having to deal with Ruth, rather than Ruth dealing with the disease, and that is a smart tack. Along the way, the script also explores the tensions between Nicky and Bitty, between those two and their dad, and between Bitty and her 20 year old daughter Emma. THe movie benefits from a strong ensemble cast, led by Hillary Swank as Bitty and Michael Shannon as Nicky. Beware: this movie is mostly an emotional gut punch, particularly in the last half hour. This isn't the type of movie where you walk out of the theater and think "that was a jolly good time!"

"What They Had" premiered at this year's Sundance Film Festival and it finally opened at my local art house theater here in Cincinnati. The Friday early evening screening where I saw this at was attended okay but not great (about 10 people). I can't see playing in theaters very long. For that the movie is too downbeat. But hopefully this can find the wider audience it deserves when it becomes available on other platforms. If you have an interest in Alzheimer's, or simply want to see a good drama, I encourage you to check it out, be it in the theater (if you still can), on VOD, or on DVD/Blu-ray, and draw your own conclusion.