Viking Siege

!BUYER BEWARE!

This is NOT a serious film, DO NOT believe the marketing into thinking this movie is about vikings or the famous siege of Paris in 845, this film is pure fictional and quite frankly bananas!

Luckily I do like a low budget movie from time to time, 'Viking Siege' must be one of the cheapest produced movies out there! I do believe this perhaps to be intentional by the developers among with the sheer amounts of ham passed around the actors, super cheap special effects which boils down to ketchup 'everywhere' with surprisingly a half decent soundtrack.

SO why is this film called Viking Siege? Where is the sieging?

I did enjoy it to be fair, some odd pacing issues toward the middle but I had fun with it. Leave your expectations at the door and you should be able to get through this, this is not for the serious of heart out there, I repeat this film does NOT take itself seriously.

5/10 Oodles that could be improved but a forgivable attempt for a first time director. Less ham next time, ok?

This story of supernatural tree shaped men attacking a motley group of people in the middle ages has the look of a story with too many cooks spoiling the broth.

There were just too many characters who had superiority complexes, and the ones who would have the superiority complexes had the opposite.

The monks are depicted as ridiculous middle ages version of Frank Burns, and the other characters are just as one dimensional.

On the bright side, as contrived as it is, there is a bit of non contrived fates. A bit of "let the cards fall where they fall" look, instead of a deliberated goal appearance.

The biggest problem is "character". These characters all look like they were written by or for certain actors, which was probably the intention, but it looks too obvious. Way too many are too Hollywood, and few make sense for the era. For instance, the monks are depicted as cowardly weak mercenaries, when in fact the monks of the era could either be weak or mercenary, but couldn't be both.

There were too many Hollywood characters for the movie, too. Had it been a mini series, maybe it would work, although the characters were so standard and Hollywood that it would only work for the geekiest people.

More ridiculous was the woman who never ran out of arrows. I don't know where the arrows all were. They just appeared out of the air. I guess they dropped from the ceiling. Probably from an elaborate mechanism she devised that dropped three arrows every ten minutes.

Really enjoyed the pulpy nature of the film, it's just a shame that the branding didn't reflect that, like the old artwork on their website.

Definitely worth a watch if you're into B movie style features.

The acting is what you would expect from an 8th grade Christmas play.

The cinematography reminds me of a video off of a iPhone....4s

Poor script, bad writing overall, and an acting class that would do better bagging groceries, makes for a really bad viewing. I find UK TV shows to be superior to US TV shows in nearly every aspect. The same cannot be said for nearly all of the UKs theatrical releases. For every hit you have 20 duds like this one. Now, the US is jut as bad except they produce worldwide blockbusters to offset the poor films.

Want your date to breakup with you and contemplate ritual suicide? Well grab a bucket of popcorn, gallon of coke, 6lbs of candy and how you die from a diabetic coma before she finishes watching this with you, so you do not have to watch her glare of pure hatred, as she starts sepeku in front of you

And yes, I have indeed used the facilities with more drama and better CGI than this horrid film

Amazonian slave girls vs corrupt and sleazy monks, then grab a bunch of Norse men hot on their heels running from an alien infestation mutating the locals into 'Tree Beasts' and you have a very entertaining but utterly ridiculous little film.

Not much in the ways of a story other then trying to survive the night, super hot babes and 50's Dr Who rubber masked creatures. It;s cheap & nasty but FUN!

Absolutely have no idea why this film is marketed as 'Viking Siege' this film was once known as 'Attack of the Tree Beasts', which makes WAY more sense of this ridiculous and over the top homage to low budget 80's B-Movies. The Vikings in Siege are more Norse men than actual real vikings.

TREES, CREATURES, HOT WOMEN, MEN WITH BEARDS!

For what it is, it's guilty, trashy FUN!