Amityville: No Escape

I'm 15 minutes in and already I'm looking at my phone wishing I didn't commit to watching this. Personally I've removed the word ugly from my vocabulary, but these people are hideously unattractive. They all look like meth heads with the ugliest tattoos and awful hair. And that scene with the girl being topless in the pool and her brother is also in the pool with her and she's like "it's like when we were kids." No. No it isn't! Disgusting just like her awkward nips. The woman in the video is forcing her acting, which is worse than a kindergarten play. All thumbs down!

Amityville No Escape' is another pointless found footage flick that centers around a group of so-called college students going in to the deep woods to understand fear.. Yes it's even dumber than it sounds.. Anyways..

There is also a subplot involving a video tape from 1997 that has some lonely ass house wife yapping at the camera.. Apparently her husband is in the military and on deployment..

This has to be one of the most boring movies I have ever watched, literally almost nothing happens in this film.. The story supposedly takes place in Amityville, NY - and I think the video house wife lives in the old Amityville horror house? But I may not have been paying close enough attention.. I'm just not sure..

Now to be fair I honestly can't say the acting was horrible, I think the whole cast was doing the best they could with what they had to work with..

Positives: A couple of scenes worth of boob shots.. So So acting.

Negatives: Terrible incoherent story.. Shitty shaky cam..

Do yourself a favor and avoid this stinker.. Grade: D

Horror Town USA

And we're back to the dreadful Amityville films, I thought it was too good to be true.

Here we have another found footage effort, this one however tries to distance itself from the others by telling two separate but connected story lines. A girl living in the Amityville house and a group of students going into the woods to do a study on fear.

The plot is thinner than Patrick Stewarts hairline, it's all poorly made and alike many movies of its ilk nothing actually happens.

Unforgivable boredom.

The Good:

Cast aren't terrible

The Bad:

Pretty much every square inch of the film

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Nobody but me noticed that girl is clearly a vampire

If gunfire reminds a girl of her partner she should reconsider her choice

This is a so slow boring movie that is not scary at all. The ending is awful. This is the 15th part to Then Amityville series. It is better then The 14th one. Amiyville legacy. But not mush better. The 13th one Amityville vanishing point is good movie. It is a lot better then this. This is awful. Do not see this movie. It has an awful story line. Do not see it.

What to say. It's found footage, but honestly, even with the 1997 VHS segments inserted oh-so-random, for the first 2/3 it was fine for what it is. It even had nudity, so BW is already beaten. And the setup is there for the third third.

Then the whole thing collapses. Spectacularly. I first thought the editing went wrong, but as the minutes passed, I had to realise, no, the whole script just blew in yo face.