- [tries to open a box in Miss Grundy's car]
- Betty Cooper: Bobby pin.
- Veronica Lodge: Okay, Ms. MacGyver.
- [unlocks box]
- Betty Cooper: I learned that from the Nancy Drew detective handbook.
- Betty Cooper: I'm not gonna ask what you did with Veronica at Cheryl's. I'm asking you now, right now, if you love me, Archie, or even like me?
- Archie Andrews: Of course I love you, Betty. But I can't give you the answer you want.
- Betty Cooper: Why?
- Archie Andrews: You are so perfect. I've never been good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you.
- Moose Mason: So, Saturday night...
- Kevin Keller: Listen Moose, you're hot. Yes. My type? Definitely. But you've got more demons than The Exorcist. We are all on the spectrum but my gay-o-meter says you should stick with what you know best... girls.
- Cheryl Blossom: Color me impressed. A B&E with B&V. What would your Holy Roller mother say about this, Betty?
- Betty Cooper: What are you doing here, Cheryl?
- Kevin Keller: And where did you get those thigh-high boots? They're amazing.
- Kevin Keller: Can I borrow the truck for the drive-in?
- Sherrif Keller: You got a date?
- Kevin Keller: No, I'm going with Veronica.
- Sherrif Keller: Ah okay. Isn't there a nice gay kid at your school?
- Kevin Keller: Yes, there is. Me.
- Sherrif Keller: Alright. No cruising guys tonight. We both know what goes in those woods.
- Kevin Keller: Oh my God, dad!
- Kevin Keller: Is it true what they say about your dad?
- Veronica Lodge: That he's the devil incarnate? I stand by my father. Does everyone here know?
- [awkward silence]
- Veronica Lodge: Wonderful! Ten minutes in and I'm already the "Blue Jasmine" of Riverdale High.