ट्रान्सफॉर्मर्स: राइज़ ऑफ द बीस्ट्स

Well, after I left the theater I felt somehow lobotomized, numb and dead like a rock (well, maybe I'm wrong and stones are more alive than I realize). Transformers: Rise of the Beasts is one of those many examples that raise one question: where are the talents and the creative people these days? Certainly not too many are involved in the movie business - Rise of the Beasts got nothing that will raise it above the bar of barely acceptable: a dead boring story line, dead boring characters, and terrible dialogues we listened to one million times before. The special effects are somewhat okay, but, well, that's pretty standard these days. Recommendation only for the absolute hardcore fan of the Transformer universe or for those who are - for whatever reason - in need for some brain killing experience.

Most of this movie is boring, even when there is action on the screen. The first 1h30 should have been cut to an hour, and it would have been more entertaining. Up until this point, it was a middling 5/10 for me, just like the rest of these movies (bar 1 perhaps).

HOWEVER, the final act/fight is honestly stellar - I actually sat up and properly enjoyed the battle, the fact that the people were actually involved (due to what I thought was a pretty neat, if cliché device).

It actually felt like there were some stakes too, both on large and small scale. The music, both soundtrack and needle drops were on point. Just a pity that the rest of the movie didn't have this level of quality.

This is obviously just a cash cow, made for no reason other than to fill the pockets of the Hollywood producers, knowing that the masses will go watch ANOTHER Transformer movie in the summertime anyways...no matter how bad the reviews may be...

The bad: this edition is without any famous actor and that hurts the movie, big time. The 2 (unknown) leading actors for sure arent terrible, but they sure as heck arent able to carry this movie by themselves either. Bummer.

More bad: what about the thrill and spectactle? This movie is severely lacking in real thrill and spark! I mean after 30 minutes I already got bored watching this movie. And getting bored is the last thing I desire when watching an action movie for petes sake!

Not any good then? It'll do for the masses, but be sure to bring along a lot of popcorn though, because any junkfood you will eat, will guaranteed give you more satisfaction than watching this mediocre franchise edition.

I appreciated the fact that this film made Optimus Prime an actual character, and that it found a couple of interesting, believable ways to give the human characters a legitimate use in the story.

Aside from a few moments involving these things, I was bored senseless by this movie.

I struggle to comprehend how a script like this passes so many hands and makes it to production; it has some of the worst dialogue this side of Attack of the Clones.

Everything in this movie is told to us, rather than creatively shown. It's obnoxious, it's lazy, and it's stupid. It treats us, the audience, like we're stupid as it spoon feeds every piece of information to us like we're infants, even though the story is really simple and nothing original or complex happens once.

All this could be saved if the action were entertaining and investing. But it isn't, aside from a handful of stylish shots.

Say what you will about Michael Bay's movies. (They're bad.) But at least they had huge scale to them and the stakes were understood.

This is a bland blockbuster movie, through and through. The action never features any destruction or threat to human life. There isn't a practical, real thing happening on screen.

Artificial, boring, and derivative, with about 5-10 minutes worth of good material.

I thought Bumblebee was a bright spot, but it looks like the good streak has been cut short.

Well, it's about robots from outer space so just turn your brain off for maximum enjoyment. If you told me the script was AI-generated, I'd believe it.

But is it entertaining? Depends on your definition. If you want to see robots and humans hunting MacGuffins, clashing and brawling for their respective fates, painfully cringe dialog and jokes, and a predictable plot? Then yes, it's entertaining.

I'm a sucker for 90s hip-hop, so hearing Tribe and Wu-Tang was a pleasant surprise. I also appreciate the dynamic lighting and how the robots are integrated into their environments. They don't stick out too much or look odd.

Until they talk. Then most of the immersion goes right out the window. Nearly every robot-spoken word is delivered with the gusto of the movie trailer voiceover guy bellowing cliches like ancient creeds.

And yet, as the 3rd act progressed I found myself starting to be won over, almost like a case of Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe because I stopped thinking about it. Maybe the movie itself became a visual lobotomy.

I almost want to recommend this. Not because it's good, but because it's bad in ways that are endearing and sort of fun.