God Knows Where I Am

I knew this was going to be difficult to watch, but last night I finally pulled it up on my DVR. Wow. The filmmakers brought this woman to life and didn't sensationalize her death. Great use of simple but elegant recreations of the house where Linda Bishop spent her last months. The music fit perfectly; the voiceover was compelling. The interviews with friends and family started out light and loving, and you're wondering where did things go wrong for her? The tension builds as her story unfolds, and the unbelievable happens.

I appreciated the panel discussion with the filmmakers and a physician led by Hari Sreenivasan after the movie was shown on my PBS station (KCTS). It helped me better understand how this could happen, and how it relates to the issues of mental health and homelessness in the Seattle area.

Everyone should see this movie.

Stunningly accurate portrayal of the innocence of the person with mental illness be it bipolar, schizophrenia or both. It has been four years since my father was arrested with many counts of felony charges living a similar unknowingly, self-destructive path; the late onset of his disease started at age 56 years old. Thankfully, by the grace of God, the court required him to take medication. He has lived with myself and granddaughter for the last 7 years and even before that off and on for ten years. I pray that treatment continues to bless him with good control over this illness albeit imperfect yet striving to beat it. The answer to this is love, hope and forgiveness. Never give up but I know it will hurt.

It is a very moving, emotional and, frankly, depressing portrayal of how the mentally ill often fall through the cracks and fail to receive the care and assistance that they need. However, I didn't feel that the film really gave enough detail or information about the woman herself. We learned about her childhood and did get some sense of what it was like for her based on her own journal entries, but I still felt like most of the film contained very little about the victim and was mostly just dramatic cinematography which stretched out the length but didn't add any real substance. The whole thing could really have been condensed into a 30 minute length program. So, while I was captivated by the tragedy of this woman's story, it felt too drawn out and left me with so many questions about her illness and the events that led her to that house, that overall I was pretty disappointed.

To the people that ask "Where was her family"?, you have no idea what it is like to have a mentally ill person you love refuse to get help & take meds. No idea. You can't help them, no matter how much you want to. This movie is a perfect example of that. Heartbreaking.

"God Knows Where I Am" (2017 release; 97 min.) is a documentary about Linda Bishop. As the movie opens, we are at "393 Mountain Road, Concord, New Hampshire" and it is "May 3, 2008". The body of a woman is found in an empty house by a prospective buyer who was taking a look inside. It's not long before the body is identified as being Linda Bishop. The investigating cop cannot believe his good fortune that she left a diary of the last months of her life. It contains a letter saying: "To whomever finds my body, I am a victim of domestic violence/abuse." The documentary goes back in time to Linda's upbringing and youth... At this point we're 10 min. into the movie but to tell you more of the story would spoil your viewing experience, you'll just have to see for yourself how it all plays out.

Couple of comments: this is the directing debut of long time documentary producers Jedd and Todd Wider ("Taxi to the Dark Side"). Here they bring the story of a woman whose death seems suspect. Was she abused? Was she on the run form the law? The directors do a marvelous job at going back in time, and the slowly letting things unfold, as if taking off lawyer after layer from an onion. Of course this film could never have been made without the extraordinary journals of Linda Bishop (who are read in a voice over during much of the film). This movie sheds new light on the incredible and devastating illness that is schizophrenia. Sometime in the film it is mentioned that there are 2.5 million people in this country suffering from schizophrenia, of which HALF deny that there is anything wrong with them (Linda Bishop was one of those). Linda's sister, daughter, and a slew of friends and others who know her are all interviewed at length. It all makes for a terrific, if very sad, documentary. "Dear God, please save me" are the opening words of the film (from Bishop's journals). And that's just the first emotional gut punch. Don't tell me you weren't warned...

"God Knows Where I Am" opened out of the blue and without any pre-release hype or advertising at my local art-house theater here in Cincinnati. Curiosity got the better of me, so I checked it out. So glad I did. The Sunday matinée screening where I saw this at was attended okay but not great (probably the perfect weather had something to do with that). If you like documentaries, by all means do not miss this one but be prepared for a emotional wallop. "God Knows Where I Am" is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!