Dracula Reborn

Some Canadian journalists travel to Paris and Transylvania to investigate Dracula. Or something. I became bored very quickly with this. Silly plot. Wooden acting. And a bald headed, cape wearing vampire, skulking around (immune to daylight), not sure if he's meant to be scary or funny. But he's neither. At 98 minutes this was a real tester. The only reason that I'm awarding 2 and not 1 out of 10 is that I liked the European locations. Credit for that at least. Bram Stoker must be turning in his grave with crap like this bearing Dracula's name!

This is easily the worst vampire film I have ever seen and I have watched some absolute stinkers. It is amateurish in every way, badly shot, lit and acted. The performances are so bad I actually thought it was a parody, apart from the fact that it wasn't even in the "so bad, it's funny" category. I bought the film and was really looking forward to watching it based on the cover blurb. I started watching it, then started watching it on fast forward waiting for something to happen, then realised it was over and that nothing had! The only time I have ever been more disappointed with a film was when I paid good money to see Jaws:The Revenge at the cinema. After watching Dracula Reborn, (an obvious attempt to cash in on Dracula Untold), the DVD was consigned to the local charity shop. Avoid this one like the plague!

Truthfully I would rather watch the movie Glitter with Mariah Carey on perpetual rerun while spikes are shoved under my fingernails than to ever watch this movie again. I seriously believe it to be the worst movie ever made. No plot, horrible cinematography, gross anorexic actresses, gratuitous gore and insane dialogue. I mean it. The worst. I tried to watch all of it, really I did. I kept thinking it had to get better because honestly there was no way possible for it to get worse. And yet it did. I had to check my to make sure my eyeballs weren't bleeding from the disaster on screen. The entire cast and crew should be stoned. Literally and figuratively.

This is actually the worst film I have ever seen. 24 mins in, boring, waited till 48 mins still nothing but bad acting and terrible cinematography. Fast forwarded to 1hr 20 no better. Just a really bad impersonation of a vampire dry humping unassuming victims. The read up and cover looked OK so for a few quid thought I try it. I don't think these poor actors will ever work again after this. I don't think the syfy Chanel would even air this nonsense. I have thrown mine in the bin but actually feel like sending back to Attila 'whats his name' (writer and director) for a full refund for clearly lying about the content and the hash job he calls a film..... Utter utter garbage.

I wish I could tell you ANYTHING about the context of the movie. After spending less than ten minutes "watching" this title, all I came away with is that their food catering services added glue to the "Oatmeal Only" menu, and there was no water or toothbrushes on set. And someone stole that poor girl's eyebrows. Also, there may have been marbles in the oatmeal, I am not sure either way. Or perhaps it was dubbed by the Hamburglar.

Seeing that the review was considered too short for submission, I will add additional text because I need to do my part in keeping people from renting or even accidentally watching this ....movie. I thought about adding a few lines of "Robble Robble" but am not sure how many people would actually get the Hamburglar reference, let alone know what his speech sounds like. That being said, you now have full understanding of what my viewing experience was like. Robble Robble.