The Broken Key

I believe that this movie was made so bloody awful on purpose, and it *is* so bad that it's actually funny, like in The Producers.

It's like when you wake up and you remember your dream - flows illogically from one scene and action to another unrelated scene and action, and so on. This is one weird movie!

Yes, so bad it's funny...but not funny enough to ignore these reviews and watch it!

The other reviewers are too kind to this truly painful to watch extravaganza that drags on and on yet goes nowhere..The acting is like listening to fingernails on a chalkboard and the music score drones on neverendingly at levels that Almost drown out the dialogue...If I had to find anything in this movie to redeem it,one would struggle.. Even on fastforward this one is hard to stomach...You have been warned..

THE BROKEN KEY has an abysmaly bad reputation. It has an appalling score of 2,3 but still 416 ratings so, it will never make the Bottom 100 (the list of the worst rated and reviewed movies of all time that have at least 10,000 ratings). And, despite the poster features all the known names the lead is played by an unknown that has never made movies before and is known only in Italy (where I live) for having appeared in a trashy reality TV show that is followed by rotten-brained people. So why I saw it? Well, from time to time I love to find and watch movies with notoriously bad reputations. But this... it was too much, and according to most of the reviews I am one of the very few that had the guts of seeing it to the very end! Now I can discuss it.

It begins with very overlong credits where the italian names are put first, then we see the Pyramid of Giza and the on-screen text says 'Egypt, tomorrow' and we then move to Rome and it says 'Rome, 2033 AD'. We then see Hiram Abif (Franco Nero, the father of director Louis Nero) having a swim and then has problems (considering that Nero was 75 when he did this, it's no surprise) and has to be taken on surface. We are then introduced to our lead Arthur J Adams (Andrea Cocco) that meets scientist Adrian Moonlight (Rutger Hauer) and is tasked of finding the broken key and open a mysterious gate. Arthur goes, and his mission will go not without meeting various characters and bizarre situations. First he goes to a class held by writer Tullio De Marco (Michael Madsen) about the importance of paper, and after only 2 minutes of screen time we see Tullio hanging from a bridge. Second, he goes to count Rosebud (Christopher Lambert) that is an expert on the female body that has spme sort of metamorphosis where he becomes older and is then nowhere to be seen. Third, he goes to an abbey where Father Hugo (William Baldwin) tells Arthur about all the secrets of the text, and it's then shot by some marauders. After lots of padding Arthur will meet the older woman (Geraldine Chaplin) that will give him the Broken Key for opening the Zimurg Corporation, but I think nobody would see it.

To saying that THE BROKEN KEY is bad is certainly an understatement. The sets are great but the acting by the lead so heavy and the known names appear for just a few minutes and then they are nowhere to be seen, and you might think that with such respected names it would have been at least a decent viewing experience but nope, they put lots of unnecessary padding that made the movie last 2 hours and 15 minutes of absolute nonsense. The more the time passes the more you are bound to leave it, and I think I should deserve a medal for having seeing it to the very end! And the music is not only forgettable, but jarring as most of the other problems of the movie.

Overall, a movie so bad that it makes you ask why it was even made in the first place, but as it was over, I could see why it will always miss being in the Bottom 100... I am probably the only one who dared to finish it! If someone you know recommends it to you... run! Even for gluttons for punishments like me (that I had to take this task on my shoulders) is like a ride to the dark world. And don't say I didn't warn you!

The average rating of 4.x on this movie is generous. The writing is as bad as the written movie summary. The acting is non-existent, as the roles require nothing in this area. The story line is vaporous and plot non-existent.

The only positive point of this movie is rather good CGI... but these days such can be cranked out of someone's home computer using Blender, and gets no stars from me in the light of everything else in the film.

It is reasonable to assume most viewers will find this an incredibly long 2 hours. This movie just drags on, more so than most movies we've seen of this kind. It's not just bad, it's slow and bad.

Rutger Hauer seems to have a knack for choosing the worst roles these days. He brings his usual stoic half-humor to the role, but even that can't raise this film above 2 stars for me. This is definitely a "pass it by" film, with the non-audience better off for choosing to do so.

Wow this is painful. I thought the movie was dubbed in English at first, because the voice acting is so stiff and monotone. The music is so obnoxious. It's so overdramatic and it often overpowers the dialogue. The story is rather disjointed, I'm hoping it was more due to poor editing, but I doubt it. Maybe they were trying to go for some kind of experimental style? I'm giving it a two as the production value for the sets and special effects were high. Unfortunately it just can't make up for the rest.