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Sex with a rock. Not sex with The Rock, just A rock. A Navajo native awkwardly makes love to a mountain top, in what may symbolizes a connection with the land? Guessing is the number one activity in this absolutely bizarre sensual feast of a movie.

Owning a Terrence Malik Stanley Kubrik David Lynch surrealistic bent, complete with stunning cinematography, a sweet soundtrack, dedicated yet stunted acting, and puzzling tangents, "Valley of the Gods" is deliciously perfect for mushroom season. It also features Keir Dullea (you know who you are).

All through his varied screen career, John Malkovich has always been best when bad, and here he gets to flex his wicked muscle. As the world's richest dude and eccentric oddball, he gets to play tennis inside his palatial manor on a marble floor, catapult a rolls royce off a cliff, and mummy wrap a bunch of dogs. Or is it deer? Some kinda animal. Whatever the case, Malkovich musta had hisself a helluva time shooting this thing.

There is some semblance of a plot that involves a struggling writer, the prospect of a uranium mine, sacred Native ground, and a wacky dude playing god, but it exists merely to pose way more questions than answers. Do stay for the jaw dropping ending, which tries to wrap this crazy mess in some kind of circular fashion, if that is possible. It is not. But wow, what a heckuva swing!

Audacious to say the least, "Valley of the Gods" is an impressionistic head scratcher, and in the days of lazy cookie cutter flicks, that may not be such a bad thing.

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Not bad, not memorable either. "Art nuveao" cinematography, form over substance. Like a splash of paint on a canvas that's supposed to mean whatever the viewer wants. Well acted and directed at times, clumsy at other. A better soundtrack would have helped such a project, but worth a watch.

This film is challenging, which is exactly what we need. It's time people learn to think for themselves. From a lot of the negative reviews here, it's clear most people are conditioned to the Hollywood 3 act structure and regurgitated story lines. Not everything has to make perfect sense. The world at large does not make sense. The cosmos does not makes sense. Childhood is over. Kudos to the filmmakers for raising the bar of filmmaking.

Even though this movie didn't make any sense it was a decent watch because of the visuals and acting.

"Entwines Navajo lore with a reclusive trillionaire and his would-be biographer, creating a fascinating, mysterious and idiosyncratic vision of America."

Alternative take: ,,,creating a montage of beautiful, enigmatic scenes layered in Navajo mumbo jumbo and pretentious philosophical affectations.

I watched the whole thing. It took several stops and restarts because I had to stop and look around for my interest in it. Allegories abound, either far too abstract for me or so simple I resent making the trip, despite the very high quality of the production and the exquisite settings and scenery. I'm perfectly comfortable if this is a 'sour grapes' response.

I think I just watched Eyes Wide Shut, but without all the beautiful naked girls and sex. That was the strangest thing I've watched in a long time. I have no idea what it meant or what really happened. That was one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

I honestly don't understand how movies like this get made.

God, that was boring They pretend to be new age or something but it's not, far from it It's pointless from start to end, there's nothing, emptiness all along I'm not sure how Malkovich was convinced, I know he must make a living too but I guess you must have had better opportunities than this one

I started skipping through it half way, I couldn't stand it anymore I don't think the producer knew where he wanted to go with this one The screenplay is weak to say the least How could they convince the studios to shoot this one, I'm not sure But from now on, I'll always check the ratings, this one has 4 stars, I would give one at best

Valley of the Gods (2019). Josh Hartnett and John Malkovich star in this off-beat allegorical film directed by Polish director Lech Majewski. Likely filmed partly on location in Monument Valley, Utah. The movie echoes the stark Melancholia (2011) artistic style. Relatively hard to follow for those who prefer their movies straight forward and literally interpreted, Valley of the Gods is deliberately photographed with a beautiful and lush palette as a major backdrop. The storyline however is obtuse and surrealistic and becomes more of mood piece with inductive scenes that necessarily require flexible and adaptative mental osmosis where the mind brings together the slow paced pieces of an eclectic plot known mostly in the imagination of the director. If one can bring oneself to watch one of the worst movies in a number of ways, The Loneliest Planet (2011), however, Valley of the Gods could actually be a rather stimulating and creatively intriguing experience. Definitely not for everybody. It is watchable and preferably with a sense of patient wonder and a love of nature.

Maybe if you take a handful of mushrooms (pot won't do the trick) this movie will make some sense. But if you're not into heavy drugs don't waste your time.

I was utterly engaged by every second of it as well.

Most people seem to overthink this; the first 3 minutes tells you exactly what is happening- a grieving man goes into the desert to write.

Think Terry Gilliam.

There you go.

Not for everyone.

Next time, I'll scare up some gummies and a glass of wine. Of course I'll watch it again.

I think this film should be watched without any judgment as a piece of art generated as a result of efforts of numerous people...it has a magnificent cinematography with messages about struggle of people to live the life they want without today's technology being shoved down their throats, Native American's struggle to live in their own territory without being forced to give up parts of their land (the entire USA territory belongs to them actually), give their sons and daughters a future with prospect, and be prepared to see very funny but deeply moving struggle of the anguished writer...anyways just enjoy it...

Its pretty confusing and jumps about a bit, but here is what I think its about. Its an arthouse lesson on the uselessness & meaninglessness of modern Western life, as compared with a more spiritual existence lived(or suposedly) by the original inhabitants of America, with a bit of gratuitous arty opulance thrown in. Does it hit any of its marks - NO Is it worth a watch? put it on if you are doing something else and want background visuals. Music - 2/10 Camera work - 5/10 Acting - 4/10

In keeping it as short and as I can, I would say this is a film that juxtapositions with mathematical synchronicity held magnificently together by all actors and staff involved. The film is a masterpiece that expresses exactly what it wants you to understand and exactly what it wants to show you. Great performances all around, and a selfless production throughout...

When watching the movie, I keep mouthing myself "oh my god, oh my god and oh my god". What the hell this movie trying to film? Hell boring and just make me want to kill self n see god.

Tries to be something, but fails. Dosent make any sense whatsoever, dont lose your time as I did.

Look, I get that it's an "art film", but every art film isn't a good one. It was just not cohesive and the story was just badly told.

God, I never liked this Malkovich guy, he is weird and he cannot really act. I was expecting more from Josh but he is a forgotten actor too.

The entire movie is just drivell and bad acting.

In its' attempt at artistic beauty through ambiguity, it fails miserably. An overly ambitious display of meta story telling that omits one key ingredient... a point.

OK people, here it is...if you don't think this is worthy of recognition, you have lost your humanity.

Film is a classic tale of why. Your life's story. And as with all our lives, it is not an adventure, but disjointed fairy sequins of day to day existence. ie, got up, had coffee, got gas, had some food, freaked out about whatever, went to work: and not necessarily in that order.

This is a movie to activate dormant parts of your brain, giving you the power to see around corners, live in your fantasy, dream about the Other road, Regret.

Every second counts. Your last minute alive. Details so clear, tumble in all direction, no gravity, no pull toward against, just the light and darkness while stuck in the middle of nowhere.

A perfect film for times like now.

Challenging, and not the average Hollywood story. Deep and profound Writting. Didn't feel the cinematography in one style, and some camera angles contradict the message; but a great symbolic film.

I have nothing against the people who worked to make this movie. But it is bad. So bad it's so far the only movie I have left the theatre before the end. And I sat until the end for Alita, one of the worst movie I've seen in my life. It's not a matter of art, soul, entertainment it's just a bad movie. Next will be better.