Lake Placid vs. Anaconda

Granted, I knew well enough when I sat down to watch the 2015 movie "Lake Placid vs Anaconda" from the title alone that this was most likely going to be a stinker. And it was. Oh, how it was.

But hey, I do enjoy the occasional creature feature, and some of the "Lake Placid" and "Anaconda" movies have actually been watchable, and with iconic Robert Englund in the movie, of course I had to watch it. Now, I am wondering why he agreed to appear in a movie such as this.

The storyline in "Lake Placid vs. Anaconda" is as generic as they come, even for a creature feature. Man is manipulating with Mother Nature and messing with the genes of animals, when something goes awry and the creatures escape to wreak havoc on the local area.

Now, the storyline could have worked, as it was generic enough to actually be essentially the same as every other "Lake Placid" or "Anaconda" movie, but it was so dumbed down by a lack of proper acting and atrocious CGI that it was such a horrible experience to sit through this movie and bear witness to such god awful CGI were even made in 2015.

I can't honestly recommend that you waste your time, money or effort on this movie from writer Berkeley Anderson and director A.B. Stone.

My rating of "Lake Placid vs. Anaconda" is a mere three out of ten stars. Stay well clear of this one, people.

I have always had a soft spot for science fiction B-movies. And while Lake Placid vs. Anaconda fills all the requirements for terrible B-movie glory, it is not actually good in any manner.

People often forget that the original Lake Placid and Anaconda films were quite good in a campy creature kind of way. The onslaught of sequels bastardizing their originality and fun of those films have relegated the sub-genre to pure and lovely guilty pleasure filth. Lake Placid vs. Anaconda has nearly every ghastly B-movie trope we've come to expect from these films, and it's not in a good way.

The plot of the film often gets overly summarized to the point of stating the title in sentence form. Lake Placid vs. Anaconda has a super science-y organization funding crazy genetic research while searching for an elixir of youth. Of course, that means they need a super anaconda to bear love children formed from breeding the snake with the gigantic crocodile, thereby making "baby croc-a-condas." Along the way the creatures get loose and go on a killing spree, as they often do, and what do they stumble upon but a group of near- naked sorority girls during rush.

Lake Placid vs. Anaconda has all the literal makings of a B-movie without any of the self referential and irreverent humor of its more successful predecessors, such as the recent Sharknado and Piranha 3D. For some inexplicable reason, the makers behind the film chose to minimize the comedy, and without humor it is just dull.

A B-movie stuff wouldn't be true to itself if it didn't fail at some basic film making techniques, and the sound production, anaconda effects and dialogue overall are pretty terrible. And for a B-movie where gigantic creatures are constantly killing humans, it was pretty weak on the gore and creativity in the death scenes, with the only amusing part being croc on anaconda casualties.

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Watching this movie made me really speechless. It is not the bad script and cheesy lines that made this movie bad. It was the terrible acting from all the actors. You will have to watch this movie for yourself and be the judge to everyone's acting in this movie. It is amateur hour on screen, very stiff acting, terrible expressions and poor chemistry. When I saw the ratings on IMDb, I thought to myself 4/10 ain't that bad. So I told to myself why not give this movie a try, I knew what I was getting myself into, but never expect it to be this bad. Anyone out there who can give this rating above 5, you are definitely not watching enough movies or actually sober to give this movie a rating, or you are a dude just giving a high rating for the boob flashes in the movie.

A giant crocodile from "Black Lake" is captured by muscle-bound Stephen Billington (as Beach) and hook-armed Robert Englund (as Jim Bickerman). This is so a team of scientists can experiment on crocodile and snake DNA. The animals escape and begin to eat people. Six miles away, the attacks continue in "Clear Lake". Fish and wildlife officer Corin Nemec (as Will "Tull" Tully) from "Clear Lake" teams up with "Black Lake" sheriff and neighbor Yancy Butler (as Reba) to investigate...

This Syfy TV movie combines three concepts; we have the "Lake Placid" series, the "Anaconda" spin-offs and the "vs" match-ups. This story is not three times as good, however. This is average fare. "A.B. Stone" and writer Berkeley Anderson have the most fun with a couple of secondary items. First, clumsy deputy Oliver Walker (as Ferguson) is good comic relief. Second, there is a generous amount of screen time given to beautifully-proportioned young women in tight-fitting bikinis.

*** Lake Placid vs Anaconda (4/25/15) A.B. Stone ~ Corin Nemec, Yancy Butler, Robert Englund, Oliver Walker

Why older movies look more real is such s mystery. The first lake placid looked like a real croc. First anaconda looked like a real snake in most shots. Better tecnology years later and we get things that look like cgi and the lighting on the creatures doesnt even match the surrounding. Like its pail or looks like a paper cut out moving on screen. People getting eaten looks as fake as it actually is and acting. Modern movies should just stick to anamatronics and real special effects. Theyed lose less of the audience that way. Cant make money if everyone agrees that movies now cant even match up to the orginals in any way but the story line. Noone wants to see that its cgi. Noone wants to notice that its cgi. Noone wants to see a person get eaten or crushed and the thing biting or crushing them look like its photo shopped into the shot. How... Just how are movies so much worse these days.

Cant say its hd tvs either, jurassic park still has real looking dinosaurs on modern tvs.