Beta Test

Some times a year you just end up with one of those C-class movies, and this time it was Beta Test. Though the plot was quit interesting (the obvious reason why I watched it; almost as from an Ernest Cline novel), the movie in total was awful. The acting was lousy (cheap pron stars?) and the director obviously had better things to do than being on the set; no drive, no mind twisting turns. Nothing but amateur fighting to keep the movie afloat.

Highlight? Only 83 minutes of your life gone.

3/10 for being a movie the Cohen brothers, J.J.Abrahms or the likes could turn into something quite cool.

At first it looked like it will be an average level movie with a half decent plot, but moving through out the movie everything changed. From somewhat good film it became a low budged plot less porno without the porn. It was filled with plot holes, terrible writing and honestly there is no way the director/producer has actually seen any of this high school level content. I feel sorry for the actors who have tried to salvage this already sunken crapfest, but ended up devoured by this Frankenstein someone had the courtesy to call a movie. It is safe to assume that whoever wrote this THING has already committed suicide, since no sane person would ever think that this was even remotely close to decent.

Hey, it's just a fun, mindless romp of urban science fiction with a great plot, decent directing, some sketchy dialog, good and bad acting, and you can even write a love poem while watching it and never miss a thing.

There is even a very 'Ballsy' stoke of genius in this movie, in that the scene from about 104:12 to 110:12 is a continuous shot. 6 full minutes. That took guts. I have to respect anyone who would do that and be willing to risk the whole movie. There was obvious no real risk here, and that's probably why it worked.

For the whiners out there who constantly wail: "I want my 2 hours back!" "Worst movie ever!" "I walked out in the first 10 minutes."...Just shut the hell up. You really do NOT how to watch a movie using basic 'discernment' techniques rather than judging the hell out of it like an old, angry housewife.

See, discernment allows an evaluation to grow while a judgement puts an idea or concept inside a contemplative box where it can never evolve beyond that place within your own mind where you originally judged it. That is indeed the most wretched excess of a personal 'opinion'. It wastes everyone's time and energy. You reviewers who prattle on like wounded princesses here are seriously lacking in the most basic of intellectual evaluations skills and shouldn't even be posting your reviews with educated adults. Jesus...

So, in regards to ANY movie, when you see the trailer and read some professional reviews, you pretty much know what you're in for. But anyone who plays the 'princess-victim' of utter disappointment after spending a dollar at Red Box seriously needs to ease off the meds.

...or at LEAST take some creative writing classes.

After seeing the rating for this on here (currently at 7.0, although I suspect that will change) I thought that this might actually be really good.

But uhm, let's just say I think the director have a lot of good friends who are kind with their ratings.

It's not completely awful, but it's not that great either.

I've always liked Larenz Tate so it's cool to see him in something new, so there is always that, and he hasn't aged a day in 20 years (he's 41 believe it or not).

He plays a gamer who's been given a beta version of the latest game bound to conquer global fandom, and the plot is decent enough but it's just such a low-budget film and that shows in every aspect of the movie.

First of all the "game" that he's playing looks like it's well over 10 years old, and it simply doesn't make any sense why they couldn't just use real footage in the game scenes instead. Then at least Larenz would have a clear reason to be so blown away by the details in the game.

And the "twist" about the game of course would have made A lot more sense too.

Kevon Stover is one of the bad guys, and his attempts at being so stereotypically tough would make even Hulk Hogan cringe. I suppose that could be intentional to get a bit of 90's video-game feel to the character. But yeah, he's a chippendale appearantly which doesn't come as a surprise at all.

The first hour is still semi-watchable if you manage to look past the flaws but the last 25 minutes is a bit of a drag to say the least.

The movie starts with a seemingly interesting idea and that's the only good thing that I can say about it.

Unfortunately, as the story develops it turns to boring, amateurish cringe-fest. It's especially disappointing if you consider that Manu Bennett was in better shows (Spartacus, Arrow) and here you can see him in a lame role with lame fighting scenes and brain-cell destroying dialogues. To top that he still gives the best performance so you can imagine the rest of the cast.

I do not recommend watching it, unless you plan to use some mind-altering substance and even so it will probably be a bad experience.

In short: stupid storyline, half-baked concept, people with moronic behavior, badly choreographed and unrealistic fights.