Robert

I'm no stranger to bad scripts and stupid characters in horror films, but this film had me thinking it was written on bring your kid to work day.

The Wife is an emotional mess that will believe anything, the son shows hardly any emotion towards anything that happens, the husband is a stereotypical 'my wife is crazy but I'll play along' guy... the only character that's worth being in the film is Robert, and he's hardly in it!

Every scene had me re-evaluating what I considered a bad movie, which is a shame considering the potential it had; great graphics, a brilliant killer doll story, set in England. But alas it just wasn't to be, with the women all shown to be weak, the men being imbeciles and the doll practically not even doing anything most of the time (the film focuses on the poorly written Wife).

If you like bad movies get this one, but if you're looking for something decent to watch for whatever reason, steer clear of this film like it'll give you Bubonic Plague.

The first thing to note is the acting. Honestly, it was so terrible that I could barely concentrate on what was going on in the film. I was genuinely repulsed by how pathetic it was.

Second of all, the doll that Robert is based on looks absolutely nothing like this one. As it is based on a true story, you would at least expect them to know what the doll looks like! It was like looking at a doll from a different story entirely.

But, the most important thing to note is just how lame the horror is. It's never good when you watch a horror movie and spend the whole time laughing at how terrible it is. The death scenes look like something out of a comedy in which the acting is deliberately bad for effect.

I spent £3 on this DVD from ASDA, and it was such a waste of money even at this small price! Please, don't waste your time watching this poor excuse for a movie.

I dont know if it was just me or did the Robert doll sort of look like Willem Dafoe? Great movie to watch on a 2X or 4X speed it makes the show more entertaining.

It's inevitable that Robert will be compared to Chucky and Annabelle, which is probably the pitch this movie going for. Neither dolls are perfectly harrowing, but even then Robert has no right of being lined with them. The movie is strictly poorly written and acted. Characters do nothing but scream to each other, and even worse, the wife is so unsympathetically annoying she makes the movie unbearable.

You know the story already, a creepy doll talking to the kid and ruining the family. However, the worse criminal is the wife with her ear-rupturing high pitch voice. One can argue that the boy is expressionless or the husband seems detached, they are nothing compared to the terrible delivery of the wife. She literally screeches and shouts the entire movie, it's a torture beyond what the family has to deal with on-screen. It's like hearing dying animal every five minutes.

Plot doesn't go beyond the typical "who did it" theme and the paranoid wife. It move so horribly slow, when it hits one hour mark it only tells stuff other movies had done in half the span. The horror itself consists of poor editing worse than old stop footage movie. It feels amateurish at best and completely ruins the thrill, which barely exists in the first place.

When an inanimate object with creepy face plastered on it has better screen presence than the character, you know you're in for a terrible ride.

This movie makes "Chucky" look like "Lawrence of Arabia." Definitely choose something else. You could actually make a drinking game out of spotting plot holes and continuity problems. It feels like a feature length student project. Also, why does the boy's bedroom seem as though it is inside the hall closet?

My 12 year old daughter tore this one to shreds, and although we will never get the 2 hours back after watching this bore-fest, it was fun picking it apart. She spotted a camera operator in one of the mirrors in one scene. We got a few good laughs out of it. Actually, the end of the second act is hilarious.

On second thought, if you look at this as a comedy, it bumps it up t about a 6.5/7 point movie. So, it's all subjective. Enjoy!